Off they go. It’s so much easier. Brilliant. The pram lifts onto the tram, and Axel whistles as they race in swirls on the path through the park in front of the nursery. Mikki is running and screaming with laughter and Marthe is shouting, “Faster, Pappa Axel, faster.” at the top of her voice. Axel is happy. He is loving this.
He is loving it even more when he steps through the nursery door and Solveig is nowhere to be seen. Instead there is a young nursery worker who introduces himself as Emil and says he is Marthe’s Keyworker and how pleased he is to meet Marthe’s stepfather. Which makes Axel blush. He has done it now, hasn’t he? Jens will kill him. Bloody kill him.
It’s not fair and he knows it. He has gone and outed Jens to the entire nursery. To people who are probably his friends, people who knew Sofie and will now look at him like he is a piece of shit. He didn’t even ask Jens, he didn't even think to ask if it was okay. It’s a seriously horrible thing to do to anyone, and Axel should have known better.
Marthe is jumping into Emil’s arms though and talking animatedly about her racing car and Emil just smiles.
“Oh Axel, just to let you know that Marthe is pretty much dry here at nursery, could you discuss with Marthe’s Pappa about trying to send her in without a nappy in the mornings? We feel she is ready to be fully potty-trained and the nappy is distracting to her. Would that be okay? Let me know. No pressure if you feel she isn’t ready.”
Potty training Axel can do. “Absolutely. I didn’t realise she was dry here, I will talk to Jens and try to get her dry at home over the weekend. Thank you for telling me.” He shakes Emil’s hand. Mentally pats himself on the back for dealing with that without sounding like a complete wanker. He knows his shit. He knows how to potty-train. In theory. He teaches about it. Lectures about toddler care. He doesn’t think that he has ever seen a real-life potty though.
AXEL: Malena, sorry for being a dick this morning.
MALENA: Piss off.
AXEL: Do you guys own a potty? Nursery says we need to potty-train Marthe.
MALENA: Nope. I chucked it out. It was rank.
AXEL: Cool. I will buy one today. Thank you so much for getting the pram out for me, it was much easier. You are really cool remembering. Appreciate it.
MALENA: I didn’t put the pram out. I forgot. It’s still in the basement.
AXEL: Seriously? Please don’t fuck with me Malena.
MALENA: I. DID. NOT. PUT. THE. PRAM. OUT.
AXEL: FUCK
MALENA: Wait, did you seriously steal someone’s pram? From outside our house?
AXEL: OOPS
MALENA: BLOODY HELL AXEL. We still have to live here!!!
AXEL: IT WAS RED OK? YOU SAID THE PRAM WAS RED!!!!
MALENA: Stop shouting at me. I am not the one who steals prams.
AXEL: I am so fucked. I am seriously rubbish at this babysitting shit. You are supposed to tell me what to do and I am messing everything up.
MALENA: NOT MY FAULT. You did this one all on your own. I am not helping you fix this one.
AXEL: I am running back to nursery now to get the pram back. Will leave it where I found it. Should I leave a note? Any idea who it might belong to?
MALENA: You are on your own.
AXEL: Please don’t tell Jens.
MALENA: Too late. Texting him now.
MALENA: Pappa is crying. With laughter. I am telling him he should break up with you before you cause any more disasters.
AXEL: As of now I would break up with myself if I was him. I am so fucked. I am so sorry.
Axel returns the pram where he found it, his face red with shame as he sneaks back up to the apartment. He bought a bag of chocolates and hid them in the pram. At least he means it. He is sorry. It was an honest mistake. Seriously.
JENS: You are hilarious baby. I am sitting here pissing myself laughing in a room full of serious people. I love you so fucking much. I mean that.
AXEL: I am so sorry.
JENS: You are amazing. I think Malena likes you. She keeps texting me telling me all these funny things you are doing.
AXEL: Please don’t break up with me. I will get better at this. I am trying.
JENS: I love you. I will never break up with you. Even though you steal prams.
AXEL: Fuck you.
JENS: Yes please.
Axel doesn’t know how people do this. How things get done even when there are two parents parenting and working and the kids just take up all of your time. Because Axel has been tidying up the flat, which took him more than two hours. Just hoovering and wiping down the furniture. Then he went over to the baby shop and bought a potty. A pink one that plays music when you wee in it. It is ridiculous. Axel gets it now. They had a perfectly good basic cheap potty. But Axel wanted the pink one. Because it’s for Marthe. And Marthe would love the pink one. It plays music. She will love it. Not that it is his place to buy Jens’ daughter a potty, but he still does it. He also looks at strollers. Then sensibly decides it would be ridiculous to buy one.
He picks up Marthe on time. Nods at Solveig who is standing by the door with her arms crossed. He keeps his mouth shut. He does not say a thing. Just scoops up Marthe who hugs him. Throws her over his shoulder in the back-pack carrier and winces as the weight hits his spine. He should have bought a bloody stroller.
They have pizza for dinner. And even Morten smiles when the delivery guy buzzes the intercom. All of them on the new sofa with their feet up and pizza on their laps. Curled together watching some family game show. Laughing in between mouthfuls of cheese and tomato sauce. Stretchy bread and crust. Morten gets to share Axel’s Coke and Malena doesn’t even complain. Just eats in silence with a content look on her face and watches TV.
“Did you still want the pram out?” she asks. She actually sounds kind. Like she cares.
“If it’s not too much trouble that would be great.” Axel tries to smile.
“I’ll bring it up tomorrow. I’m leaving in half an hour. Tell Pappa I am at Nassi’s if he asks.”
“Okay. Have a good time.”
Malena walks out. Leaves him with the boys on the sofa and Marthe on his lap.
He gives the little ones a bath. Manages to wash Mikki’s hair and get them both into what he hopes are pyjamas before seven o’clock. Tucks them up in Jens’ bed and reads them the book about Plupp the troll. Twice. Because Mikki says it is that good.
He lets himself curl up on the sofa next to Morten. Nudges him and hands him the remote control. He will happily watch whatever Morten wants to watch. As long as he can sit here and not be alone. Sit here and feel like he did better today. He kind of did. He hopes. Things were fine. Things are okay.
JENS: Delayed. Thunderstorms in Bergen. Should be home by 10.
AXEL: All under control. Can’t wait to see you. I need a hug.
JENS: I do too. I need you to sleep on my chest again like you did the other night. Love when you do that.
AXEL: Even though I am a horrible person? I am so sorry I outed you to everyone at nursery. I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry.
JENS: What are you sorry for? You told everyone that we are together, which is true. I am not ashamed of you. I am not ashamed of me. I love you. I love that we are together. I am honestly so proud that you called yourself a stepfather. Because you are. I want you to be. More than anything, I want you in our lives, Axel.