AXEL: It would be easier if we bought somewhere new, but I know we can’t. It will be unsettling enough for the kids with me moving in.
JENS: Is that you saying YES then?
AXEL: Maybe (Blushing face emoji)
JENS: Say YES.
AXEL: YES. YES.YES.YES.
JENS: Do you know how much I fucking love you?
AXEL: Yes, probably as much as I love you. Are you coming over at this afternoon at 2?
JENS: Yes. It’s all I can think about. I can’t concentrate on anything. I have 49 essays to grade today, and I need to choose 9 books to nominate for the Norwegian poetry awards and I am falling apart.
AXEL: If you need to work, just say so. I will understand,
JENS: I need to work. Badly. But I need you more. I will have a complete meltdown if I don’t get to see you this afternoon. I need sex. With you.
JENS: Please.
JENS: And re houses, we can look at moving somewhere else if that would make you happy. I always wanted to live somewhere with a garden. Maybe a ground floor apartment in one of those big shared houses with gardens. Something like that. The kids would be okay. We can talk to them, see what they think.
JENS: As long as you are with us, we can live anywhere. I mean that. You need to be happy too.
JENS: I love you so much.
AXEL: You are a sappy shit. Get back to work. I am scrubbing the floor in Mikki’s room, trying to distract myself from thinking of sex. I have built 3 complete Lego models. Put 4 puzzles back together (You are missing pieces in all of them. Should I chuck them out?) Would Mikki kill me if I put his teddies through the wash? Is that a thing? Some of them smell.
JENS: No idea. Chuck the puzzles. Wash the teddies. Maybe. Or not. Let Mikki do it with you. Then he won’t hold it against you if the teddies all die a horrible death in the washing machine.
AXEL: Good thinking. Now work! Stop texting. Love you.
JENS: Love you too. (PS. When do you want to move in?)
AXEL: STOP TEXTING. I pretty much live here already don’t I? (Smiling emoji)
JENS: You know what I mean.
AXEL: YES. Work baby. See you at 2.
JENS: xxxxxx
Sondre doesn’t even knock before entering Jens’ office and parking himself in the visitor’s chair, letting the documents in his hands land heavily on the desk between them.
“Jens. Seriously. You are taking the afternoon off? Again?”
“Kjellstrøm doesn’t mind. I have stuff I need to do.” Jens is blushing. Guilty as fuck. He can barely meet Sondre’s eye.
“I know you’ve had a tough year, and I know things have been shit, but you were just starting to pull yourself together and I need you to keep things solid around here, Jens.”
“Things are solid. I’ve got shit under control Sondre. Stop being an arse.” Jens should stop now. Before he gets into a fucking argument with Sondre of all people.
“Jens. Look. We have a meeting at three, to do the nominations.”
“Aww fuck.” Yes, he remembers now. And he agreed to the meeting. He kind of has his nominations ready in his head, even though he hasn’t read any of them. The reviews were good though and he has a good grasp of content and style.
“Jens, you know I’ve got your back. Always, but I can’t keep covering for you forever. I have already moved the meeting to 12.30, which is in five minutes. As long as you are ready, we will do it now and you can fuck off and sort your crap after. But it has to stop okay? Kjellstrøm is pissed off. I’ve had complaints from three students taking your literature class that you never show up to actually teach, and they all took the class to learn from you. Not Kjellstrøm, however good he is, he is not you. Those kids want to say they took your class, that they studied under the great Jens Sommerfeldt. And you are letting them down, dude. Okay?’’
Yes, he knows. He fucking knows.
“I’m trying to get things under control at home. Trying to get our lives back on track again. It has impacted my work ethics, I realise that, and I will try harder to make things run smoother at home so I can cover my classes as scheduled.” Jens means that, he does realise his excuses doesn’t cut it anymore. He should at least be able to have things under control at work.
“I figured there is someone on the scene. I am assuming you are bringing this new woman to Stavanger?” Sondre looks a little too pleased with himself and Jens cracks a smile.
“Woman?”
“Yes, this new girlfriend you are seeing every Monday afternoon? It’s not like we don’t all notice. You skip out the door with this cheesy grin on your face. You are getting some. It’s pretty funny Jens. Sylvia and the girls are all placing bets on you getting remarried before the year is up.”
“What the fuck?” Jens actually laughs in Sondre’s face. “Seriously?”
“You know office gossip.We all want the story.”
“Story?” Jens doesn’t even know what to reply to that, but he is grinning so widely that even Sondre cracks a smile.
“Come on Jens, I’ve known you long enough that you can tell me. It’s been over a year. Nobody blames you. You deserve to be happy. So, who is this lucky girl?”
Jens takes a deep breath. Tries to gather his thoughts enough to do this. To be brave.
“His name is Axel.”
“Axel ? Like in a dude, Axel?” Sondre is leaning forwards over the desk with a face that Jens can only describe as ‘in awe’.
“Yup. Axel. Dude boyfriend who I am trying to convince to move in with me. He is awesome and I love him. Kids love him. And I am probably delusional trying to make this work but we fucking fit, Sondre. I need him like freaking oxygen and I am happy. For the first time in months I am putting things right, making things good. So please try to give me a little slack. Things will work out. I am getting there. Just chill with me, please.”
“Wow. Jens.” Sondre leans back in his chair with his arms behind his neck. Smiling like he can’t quite control the grin on his face. “How does that even happen? Have you been gay all this time and lived a lie? Or have you just decided to jump over to the dark side? I mean, how do you go from a twenty-year marriage and four kids to, well… being in love with a dude?”
Jens just shrugs his shoulders. Smiling back like he just can’t help himself. Fiddling with his fingers trying to say things right.
“I’m not gay Sondre, I’m not bi. I am me, and I have no idea how to explain it apart from to say that I love Axel. It’s not some whim, or phase, or shit like that, I just love him. And he makes me irrationally happy. He is amazing with the kids. Marthe calls him Pappa Axel which makes me want to cry. With happiness. It’s just right.”
“I don’t get it, but I kind of do. I must say I love it. I love that you are happy, it looks good on you. And seriously Jens, I am kind of really excited to meet this Axel. What does he do?”
“He’s a midwife here in Oslo. He does lots of training and courses and runs a blog on PNN, so he is fairly busy.”
“Fuck me.”
“No thanks.” Jens laughs. “I only fuck Axel.”
“Wanker.” Sondre laughs, “No, but he is that Axel then? The PNN guy? Carla keeps talking about him, and they talked about him on the radio the other day. The guy who met up with his crush from twenty years back? Wait…” Sondre looks at him in awe with his mouth wide open. Like Jens has suddenly grown an extra head or something. “That, was you? You are this J guy?”