“I’m not so sure that’s what she’d be getting. A family yes, the caring part, I can’t be sure,” I say. She cocks her head to the side to study me for a minute.
“You seem caring enough.” Shrugging her shoulders, I don’t smile.
“Caring for someone and actually caring about them are different things entirely. Can I care for her as in provide, of course but to actually care? Those emotions aren’t ones I have anymore.” Her blue eyes fill with regret. Regret for asking? Regret for bringing it up?
“Maybe you just need the right person in your life to make those emotions emerge,” she says sweetly. I’ve pondered that question many times before. Having a woman that actually cared about me in another form than what I’m used to. Right now, they all want to be fucked by the demon himself. They want to hold onto the thought that they and only they are the one that will break me. The one that will make me see that I want a family but they’re wrong. The only thing family has done for me is ruin me. From the day I was born, my life was ruined.
“Perhaps, but I don’t think we can ever be sure.”
The rest of dinner Ava changed to casual conversation. After the look in her eyes, I know there was far more she wanted to know about me, but she quickly closed that line of questioning.
“Thank you for dinner.” She turns to me as I walk her to her car.
“It was a pleasure. I’m sure we will have another soon.” Her eyes immediately snap to mine. So many questions float in those beautiful eyes of hers. So many unknowns that she may never have the answers to.
“I’d be lying, Miss Sinclair, if I said I didn’t want to take you home and fuck you right now.” My hand comes to rest on her cheek as she sucks in a breath. “I know that isn’t your style though. For now, I want to leave you with this.” Pressing my lips to hers, I savor that sweet taste.
I never knew someone could taste as good as she does. My tongue slides across the seams of her mouth until she parts her lips for me. Diving my tongue deep, so deep that she won’t forget this moment, I fuck her mouth with mine. All the pent-up stress, I release onto her sensual lips. When I finally pull away, her lips are swollen and beautiful.
“Until tomorrow, Miss Sinclair.”
Chapter 11
Ava and I have fallen into a nice routine over the last week. I show up and take her to dinner every night and just talk. The normalcy scares the hell out of me but it’s also a welcomed reprieve from my daily life. It’s a chance to feel normal or at least as normal as I can.
“This is beautiful, Cord.” Ava grins from ear to ear as I walk her inside the front doors of my home. Something about her makes me want to lie down and give her the world. She’s easy going and full of life. Maybe that’s why I’m attracted to her. The life that she has inside of her is something I lack in myself. I see it in her, and I guess a piece of me wants to hold onto that. I follow behind her with my hands in my pockets as she takes in the beauty of everything in this place. Her eyes sparkle as she regards the million dollar paintings that hang on the walls of the great room.
“Those are amazing.” I know she’s mumbling more to herself than to me, but I love seeing it and hearing her voice. Her father may be the Governor, but Ava has barely experienced the finer things in life the way I have. The Governor shadowed her in many ways. Kept her locked away from the outside world in her own personal hell. The expensive paintings, the hand-blown crystal glasses. It’s all a new world to her and my cock gets hard watching her enjoy herself.
“You really have a gorgeous home.” When she finally turns to me, there’s an electric current that runs from her body to mine. It sparks and sizzles waiting for the perfect moment to burn. And when it burns, I have a fear that it’s going to ignite into a full blown flame that I won’t be able to put it out.
“Come here,” I say seductively. Needing more than anything that contact with her, I nod for her to come to me. I want so much to feel what she feels; to know what she knows. Ava moves slowly towards me as my cock strains against my zipper. She stops right in front of me, but my hands stay planted in my pockets.
“What if I told you that I wanted you to touch me?” Ava gasps as my eyes burn into hers. I want to hear her answer, yet a part of me doesn’t. The part that knows if I touch her and she touches me that there will be feelings that she sets free from deep within me, I don’t want that. I don’t want the added stress or burden of feelings coming in the way of my life, but Ava is something else entirely and I don’t know that I can stop myself from wanting her the way I do.
Ava’s hands come to touch my chest as she licks her lips. I close my eyes at the shear feel of her through my shirt. So warm and inviting. I don’t like women touching me, not in this way anyway. I like to be in control and do what I please but Ava, she stirs things in me that I’m not used to, and I find that I want her hands on me.
“If I told you, you could do whatever you wanted to me, what would you do?” I ask her, opening my eyes and looking down at her through my hooded desire.
Her fingers travel to the buttons of my shirt, slowly taking each one into her small fingers. Delicately but with purpose, she slowly unbuttons them one by one before she finishes, never a word leaving her lips. Her hands roam over my chest as I tilt my head back, closing my eyes once more. Her soft hands touch and trace every muscle before trailing lower. When I feel her hands near the waist of my pants, I grab her wrists. Jerking my head back to look at her, her eyes are full of lust.
“I don’t make love, Ava. I’ve never had that power. I fuck. I fuck hard and long. Do you know why they call me demon?” She bites her lip before shaking her head.
“Once I’m inside of you, all bets are off. I will take you the way I want without reserve. When I’m finished and you go home, you’ll be surrounded by the darkness that is the demon.” Her chest rises and falls as she looks into my eyes. So determined, yet afraid, as she should be. I ruin women. Everyone that I have touched in the past has been ruined, and Ava will be no different.
I release her wrists and when her fingers twitch slightly, I groan. But as soon as her hands go back to working the button on my pants, it’s all over. All bets are off. Her touch is igniting my skin with a fire that I shouldn’t allow myself to feel, yet I can’t stop it. There is no way. I grab her roughly, taking the stairs quickly before carrying her to my room. I peel her out of her clothes, each layer revealing more and more of her soft flesh. Having her lying naked on my bed is killing me. Her body screams for me to touch it, to violate it in every way humanly possible, but that little voice that I always felt was my mother says not to ruin this poor girl.
My mind, body, and heart are at an internal war that’s wearing me thin. In the end though, my body wins, as it typically does. I climb on the edge of the bed before sliding her legs up, bending her knees. Lowering my face to that sweet spot between her thighs, she gasps loudly.
“This is so beautiful.” My breath traces a line from her clit down her slit and back up. My heavy breathing coupled with the scent of her obvious arousal is sending me to places I’ve never been before. My tongue slides from between my lips slowly trailing a line between her wetness as she arches off the bed.