“Yeah?” Briar’s sweet eyes shift up to me. He looks sad and vulnerable, and my insides twist. Maybe it’s not the time to tell him. Maybe having Michael around is fucking with him too much. Then another much more unwelcome thought hits me. Maybe he’s realizing he’s not over Michael.
“What were you thinking, Jude?”
I smile, pushing back the ugly thoughts. “You know how important you are to me, right?”
“Yep. Look what you’ve done for me. I can’t ever repay you.”
“You don’t need to. I did it because…because I…care about you, Briar. A lot.”
“I know. It means the world to me.” He cuddles close to me, his chin resting on my shoulder. “Is that all?” he asks.
“No. I think we should talk about what happens next.”
Briar jerks back. “No. No, not yet. Please. Can we just…” He looks almost panicked.
“Briar. Calm down.” I press my lips to his, softly and sweetly, and hope I somehow transfer everything I’m feeling to him. His body relaxes into mine, filling me with a warmth I’ve come to associate with him. “We worked so hard for this to be perfect and it was. It is. You think so too, right?”
He nods. “So perfect.”
“I meant long term after this.”
He bristles in my arms. “It’s over. I know. You don’t have to explain that to me.” The resolve in his voice takes me back.
“Is that what you want?”
“That’s a silly question.”
“I don’t think it’s silly, Briar. I was gonna save this for later, but maybe you need to hear this part now.” I open my mouth to speak when Ron grabs Briar around the waist.
“Sorry. Gotta steal your man for a few minutes,” Ron says. “Pictures.”
“Sure. Of course.”
As Briar is pulled away, he turns to look at me with the sweetest look on his face. I needed a few more minutes, but that’s okay. I can tell him tonight. I will tell him tonight. Before the sun comes up, I’m going to tell Briar that I’m in love with him.
I’m so ready.
Briar
After numerous pictures of the wedding party, meant to be more casual and candid than the official portraits, I make my way to the bathroom. It’s a trek, entering through the hotel side door and walking through a ballroom, but Ron says Chelsea said absolutely no portable toilets. On the long walk, I think about Jude again. He was acting a bit off while we danced earlier. I’m not sure where he was going with it, but his question—“Is that what you want?”—has me more than a little curious. Maybe he has some phase-out exit strategy planned, but honestly that would just make things worse. Cold turkey is the way to do this. Then maybe I can somehow start getting over him.
After washing my hands, I step out of the restroom to find Michael in the hall blocking my path back to the ballroom.
“Hi, Briar. Can we talk?”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“Five minutes? Come on.”
“For what? I believe I said everything I needed to say to you when I found your hookup messaging you while I made us dinner. Pretty sloppy move leaving your phone unlocked. It’s almost like you wanted to get caught.”
“You’re not still mad at me, are you?”
“No. I don’t care about you at all.” And I realize it’s true.
“I care about you, Briar.” I raise an eyebrow. “I never stopped caring.”
“Oh please.”
“It’s true.” He steps closer to me, nearly backing me into the wall behind me.
The men’s bathroom is unfortunately a good walk from the tent, leaving it unlikely anyone will walk back here and break this up soon.
“I miss you,” Michael says.
I scoff. “That’s ridiculous and you know it.”
“I’ve thought of you a lot over the years.”
“You knew how to reach me if that were true. I don’t know what you’re up to right now, Michael, but I have a gorgeous fiancé to get back to. Oh wait, so do you.”
He smiles as his eyes roam over me. “You’ve lost weight. That must be how you keep that man of yours.”
A wave of disgust and shame rolls through me. “Jude loves me just the way I am, no matter what size I happen to be.” He does. Even as my friend he’s always telling me I’m good just the way I am.
“Oh sure. That’s what they all say until you let yourself go like you did with me.”
“I didn’t let myself go, Michael. I like myself as I am.”
“You have to like yourself more now.”
I try to push him away, but he doesn’t even budge. “I’m done talking to you.”
“Wait. I’m sorry. I was never good at compliments.”
“That was a compliment?”
He shrugs. “What do you say we sneak off for a few minutes? There are plenty of empty rooms around here.”
“For what?”
“One last go before we’re old married men.”
My eyes widen as I pull my head back. “Are you suggesting, Michael Cullen, that you and I cheat on our fiancés with each other? Is that what you’re asking me to do?”
“I mean, it would be a secret of course. And quick. No one sucks a dick like you. Then you’ll never see me again.”
“You’re disgusting.” I cross my arms over my chest. “You have a man out there who loves you. He’s sweet, and he wants to spend his life with you, and you’re propositioning me?”
“Don’t act so high and mighty. It’s just sex. What I have with Patrick is deeper than that. This” —he motions between us—“would just be for fun.”
“Nothing involving you and me is fun. What makes you think I would do anything with you after you cheated on me and belittled me about my weight? After you disregarded my heart so callously? And now, you’re doing it to Patrick. I wouldn’t do anything with you if you were the only man left on the planet. Do Patrick a favor and end things before you ruin his life.”
“Quit being dramatic.”
“You’re an asshole. If I wasn’t worried about making a scene at Ron’s wedding, I’d go find your fiancé and tell him myself.”
“Yeah?” Michael challenges. “You think he’d believe you? All he’s heard about you is what a mistake I made taking a chance on you, believing you would rise up and do more with your life.”
“God, you’re a dick. Maybe I should tell him you’re a lying, cheating piece of shit, and he could do better. I sure the hell did.” I glare at him. “Maybe I will tell him and let him decide what’s true for himself.”
“You don’t have to.” We both turn at the sound of the voice. Patrick steps into the small space with us as all the color drains from Michael’s face. He must have been around the corner. “He cheated on you?” The pain in Patrick’s voice nearly breaks me.
I nod. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”
“Me too. Could you excuse us please? I need to speak with Michael alone.”