“Talk to me.”
“I need to see Hunter.”
My shoulders stiffen, and my heart stalls in my chest. “What do you mean you need to see him?”
“I need to apologize.”
Every single cell in my body wants me to protest. I want to tell her that she can’t see him. However, I can’t do that. She’s right. He’s innocent in all of this and deserves to have the questions, which I’m sure he has, answered. “Do you want me to go with you?” I offer. Part of me wants her to say yes, and the other part wants her to say no. I don’t want to see her with him. It’s not just Hunter; it’s any man who’s not me.
“I don’t think that’s such a great idea.”
“Yeah, probably not, but if you wanted me there, I would be there.” Anxiety creeps in as I worry about what he will say or do. Will she change her mind about this? About us?
She nods. “He might not want to talk to me or see me. I just feel like I owe him that much. He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Have you heard from him?”
“No. Not a phone call or a text. Nothing. I know he’s hurt, and what I did was wrong. I ran from him, and I ran from you.” She pauses, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry for skipping out on you. My heart just needed a break.”
“I love your heart.” It’s true. She’s such a caring, loving person. I’m so damn lucky to have her in my life. She’s torn about how she walked out on Hunter, even though she knows it was the best decision for her. Hell, she’s apologizing for skipping out on me at the hotel. While I was upset she wasn’t there when I woke up that morning, I understood her needing time to get her thoughts together. Walking out of your wedding and making love to your best friend on the same day is a lot to take on and process. I get that.
She smiles, and it lights up my fucking world. “I never stopped loving you, Cooper. Not for a single second. I don’t know what this is.” She waves a hand between us. “But I want to find out. I’m so scared you’re going to realize that your fear of losing your best friend is what brought all these emotions on. I’m scared I’m going to lose you. Lose you as my best friend, and as the love of my life.” A single tear slides over her cheek.
I slide over next to her and caress her cheek with my thumb, wiping away the trail from her tear. “That’s not going to happen, baby. I know that.” I want to lean in and kiss her. Show her she’s who I want, but now is not the time for that. “Now it’s my job to show you.”
“I want so badly to tell you we can’t do this, but in equal parts, I want you to be mine.” Another tear falls, and then another.
“Don’t be scared, Reese. I’ve got you.” I smile, trying to lighten the mood and stop her tears. “It’s my fault. I made you think I didn’t want you, and honestly, I was in denial. I wanted you that night. More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, but I was afraid of losing you. I’m not afraid anymore.” I know this is our chance. Sure, in the back of my mind there’s a nagging feeling telling me if this doesn’t work out, things will never be the same. I just have to keep reminding myself that they haven’t been the same since last year. It might not be Hunter, and if it’s not me, it will be someone else. This is our time, and I’m going to fight for us.
“You don’t know that. Things change. People change.”
“There is one certainty in my life, Reese, and that’s you. It’s always been you. I compared everyone to you. There is no substitute for the real thing.”
“Where do we go from here?” she asks, her voice small.
“Tell me what you want. Tell me how you see this playing out.” Dropping my hand to her leg, I wait patiently for her answer.
“I’m afraid to say it out loud.”
My thumb glides back and forth over her thigh. “It’s just me. You can tell me anything.”
“I want so badly for this all to work out. I want us to be together, but I really think we need to go slow. I want us to take our time, and even though we know everything about one another, I think we should start off as if we were strangers.”
She’ll never be a stranger to me. “What does that mean exactly?” I ask.
“We date. We don’t jump into bed with one another, and we take our time with this new development in our relationship. I’m worried this is going to wear off for you. This is the only way I know how to keep my heart from being mangled if that’s how this ends.” I’m not a player. She knows that. That still doesn’t keep me from being cautious about this. My intention isn’t to play or lead her on. However, her fear is that I’m suddenly going to realize she’s not what I want. The thought of losing me that has us in this position and not the love I’m declaring that is alive and well. I don’t know why she just can’t let go of this fear.
“It’s not going to end.”
“I really don’t want it to,” she confesses. “I just think that we need to take the time to build this new part of our relationship. Does that make sense?”
“It does. So we date,” I say, not really loving the idea. I want us to be more permanent, but I’ll take what I can get.
She nods, a slow smile pulling at her lips. “We date.”
“Exclusively.”
“Coop, maybe we should see how it goes?” she suggests.
“No. I want exclusivity. I don’t want anyone else, and I don’t want you seeing anyone else either. I want us both to be all in.”
“That’s… not what I was expecting.” I hate that she’s putting us both through this. I hate that she can’t accept my word. I’ve never lied to her before. We’ve wanted this for so long. For us to be together like I’m offering. Her fear… it comes from having everything she’s ever wanted, and then it being stripped away from her. I know that I crushed her. Now I just have to prove to her that will never happen again. Prove to her that my love for her is real.
“Good.” I lean in and kiss the corner of her mouth.
“We just said slow,” she reminds me.
“What? Slow means no kissing?”
“Do you usually kiss on the first date?”
“My first date experience is limited at best. Yours?”
“Limited, but I can tell you with Hunter—” She winces. “Never mind.”
“No. Tell me. I need to hear it.” I don’t want to hear it, but I need to. Hearing her talk about the two of them will only fuel me to fight harder. A reminder of what I have and what I could have lost.
“It doesn’t matter. What matters is how we do this.”
“We start by you confirming that you’re my girlfriend.” I’m not a fool. I’m locking this shit down now. I don’t want her to have any confusion or insecurities moving forward. “We said exclusive,” I remind her.
“But that’s dating exclusively. Do we have to label it?”
“Yes.”
“Cooper, we said we were going to take our time.”
“We will.” I’m quick to assure her.
“No labels, not yet. I don’t think jumping in headfirst is a good idea.”