The look in her eyes tells me she’s still carrying a load of worry on her shoulders. I want to argue with her, but pushing her away again is something I said I would never do, even from something like this. I can give her some time to get her head wrapped around the idea. Then I’m not going to take no for an answer. By then, she will see what she means to me. I won’t stop until she does.
“For now,” I concede. “We won’t label it for now.”
“Good.” She holds her hand over her mouth to cover her yawn.
“I’m sure you’re exhausted from traveling and then the drive here from your parents’ place. You ready for bed?” I ask.
“Yes.” She stands from the couch, leaving the pillow she’s been clutching behind. “Where are you staying?”
“Here.”
“You can’t stay here, Cooper.”
“Just tonight. It’s late, and I just need to be here with you. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.” I wink as I stand and stretch my arms over my head. “Reese,” I say when her eyes travel to my waist where my shirt has ridden up.
“Tonight,” she agrees. I bite down on my lip to fight the grin at this small victory. “I’ll grab some blankets.” She turns and walks away and takes my glee with her. At least I’m still here with her. I might not be in her bed, but I’m in her home. Small steps to get to the ultimate reward.
Reese.
“The spare room is still empty from when Tess moved out. I’ll take the couch. You’re too tall. You won’t get any sleep.”
“Nope. This is perfect.” I take the blankets and pillow from her and lean over to kiss her cheek. “Night, baby,” I whisper.
“Night, Coop.”
She hesitates before turning to make her way to her room. I watch her until she disappears down the hall. I’m not looking forward to a night on the couch, but it’s a small concession to be here with her. I’ve lived the last year without her. I don’t want to do that ever again. I have three months before training camp. It’s time to show the woman I love what she means to me.
Chapter 8
Reese
I’m wide awake, staring into the darkness of my bedroom. I’ve been lying here for well over an hour, unable to fall asleep. How can I when I know Cooper is in the other room? Any other time he’d be sleeping next to me. When my bedroom door opens, I quickly shut my eyes. He’s quiet as a mouse as he steps into my room. I lie still, waiting to see what he does. He makes his way around the bed, something he’s used to. He stayed here a lot back in college.
I feel the bed dip with his weight as he climbs in beside me. I’m frozen as I feel his body move close to mine. He wraps his strong arms around me and sighs at the same time as I take a deep breath. “I just need to hold you. I can’t stand the thought of you sleeping in here without me.” His voice is low and deep as he whispers in my ear.
I don’t say a word as I savor the feeling of being in his arms. This is more than just a friend cuddling with a friend, something we did a lot in college. Looking back, I realize that’s not really what friends do.
“I love you so damn much, Reese.” His voice cracks and I bite my lip to fight my own emotions. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to realize what was right in front of me.” He’s quiet for several long minutes. “I want to build a life with you. I can’t think of anything better than spending my life with my best friend. I know you want to go slow, and I promise you I will try to respect that.” Another long pause. “I want this moment, this very thing every night. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms and wake up to see those big green eyes. You are what I want, Reese.”
Not able to resist, I turn in his arms. It’s dark in my room, so I can’t see him, but I feel his hot breath as it brushes across my face. His hand lands on my hip, pulling me to his chest. “We said slow,” I murmur.
“You said slow,” he replies softly.
“Coop,” I breathe.
“Just let me hold you, baby.”
His softly spoken request in the middle of the night is impossible to resist. Resting my head against his chest, I can feel his heart beating. His arms are locked tight around me, and it’s perfect. It’s everything I ever imagined it could be, and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to resist him. I don’t know what I was thinking. How could I possibly believe I could keep my heart safe? It’s never been safe when it comes to Cooper. I gave my heart to him years ago, and he still has it. He will always have it.
“I missed you, Reese. So fucking much. I was starting to wonder if there would ever be a time I would get to have you all to myself again.”
I pull away, but he doesn’t let me get far, sliding his arm under my head and letting me use him as a pillow. “Tell me about football.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything. I feel so disconnected from your life.”
“This last year was hard. Painfully hard. I knew I would miss you, but I never could have imagined the depth of that void. I never want to go through that again. I can’t do it. I won’t survive it.”
“That’s pretty dramatic,” I say, teasing and trying to lighten the mood.
“I’m serious,” he says, his voice strong. “I was miserable without you. It wasn’t until I got your wedding invitation in the mail that I realized what an idiot I’d been. I had the most amazing woman right in front of me for years, and let my fear keep me from her.”
“I was scared too.”
“Not that night in my room. You were fearless offering yourself to me. I wish I could explain to you how hard it was for me to stop us that night. I was certain it would ruin our friendship, and I knew I needed you in my life. I was just too blinded by the fear to realize that we could be more than just best friends.” He leans in and, somehow in the darkness, his lips find my forehead. “I didn’t realize we could be everything,” he says tenderly.
“I feel like I’m dreaming.”
“Yeah?” he asks. “Good dream or nightmare?”
“The best dream,” I confess.
“You’re my dream.”
I can’t explain what his words do to me. It almost feels as though my body is melting into his as I relax into his hold. His words put me at ease and have my heart leaping from my chest.
“Football,” I prompt.
“I like the team. The guys are great.”
“Come on, Coop, you can do better than that.”
“To be honest, I was in a haze most of the season. I went to practice and gave my all there and at games, but socially, I didn’t do a lot. I had a few guys from the team over a few times, doing my part to fit in, but I spent most of my time in the gym. I was missing you like crazy, in a new city all alone, and I just threw myself into my job.”
“It shows,” I say, resting my hand on his chest.
“Don’t tempt me, baby,” he says, swatting my ass playfully. “What about you? How’s work?”
“I like my job, but there is a lot of government red tape we have to go through. There’s a lot I didn’t get to see during my externship. I just want to help people. There was this woman… hell, she’s my age. She came into the office. She’s a nurse’s aide and a single mom. The dad is not in the picture and gives her no financial support. Anyway, health insurance is expensive, her deductible is outrageous, and her son, who’s four, has asthma. She was trying to get the medical card to help offset the deductible. She’s struggling to buy his meds and make ends meet. I helped her submit for financial assistance, a medical card, anything to help lessen the burden. She made five dollars too much. Can you believe that? Five dollars kept her from getting the assistance she needed to keep her head above water. I hate it. It’s so hard to tell them that news. I thought being a social worker, I was going to get to help people, help make a difference in their lives, and it’s been the exact opposite so far.”