‘Did you have a Jägerbomb?’ he asked.
‘No, why?’
‘You sound like you just had a massive energy drink!’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Did I see you speak to Marc earlier? Or am I really drunk?’ Sara asked.
‘He came to me. I don’t know what his problem is.’
‘Maybe he just wants to be nice?’ she said, without much conviction.
‘Yeah, right!’
‘Okay, how about we go for a dance?’ she asked, excited.
‘Sounds good, just let me go for a wee first.’
‘Fine, we’ll see you there!’
I walked back down, looking for a toilet. I asked a few crew members and got sent to one that was at a lower deck. Hopefully it was going to be the one with less people. It seemed like no one was around. Good for me. I opened the door to the gents and there was nobody, then all of a sudden, I heard the door behind me open.
‘Hello, stud!’
I turned around, and it was a jacketless Stefan.
‘Did you follow me here?’ I asked, creeped out.
‘I just saw you and thought I’d accompany you wherever you were going! Also, my room is down here.’
‘You have a room?’
‘Of course! Why wouldn’t I?’
‘Okay.’
‘Come, I’ll show you,’ he said while grabbing my hand and taking me outside the bathroom.
‘My friends are actually—’
‘They’ll be fine, it’ll be quick.’
I was dragged down the corridor into his huge room with a window facing the big city buildings. The bed was covered in red velvet sheets. Everything was as luxurious as the main hall, if not more. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought I had just entered the Titanic.
‘Drink?’ he asked, while opening the mini fridge.
‘Sure. Bourbon there?’
‘Of course,’ he said while pouring down a glass. ‘Here.’
I grabbed the glass and sat on the bed. My head was spinning slightly.
‘This is nice.’
‘It is,’ he said while grabbing a black tray with cocaine on it. ‘Want some?’
‘What did you give me earlier by the way?’
‘Just something to get you relaxed!’ he said, while placing the tray on the bed next to me. Then he proceeded to kneel down and to unbutton my trousers.
‘No, I’m not really…’
Then he stopped for a second.
‘Ah, is it because you’re not being paid? Cheeky. How much for me to suck you off?’
‘I’m not really in the mood for—’
‘Come on,’ he took my hard dick out of my trousers. ‘Very nice!’
‘Stefan, really.’
He started checking his pockets for money and took out another two hundred.
‘Here,’ he handed me the money and started licking my cock, which at that point, didn’t even feel like part of my body.
‘Fine,’ I said, while falling with my back on the bed. I was staring at the ceiling, while I was receiving a sloppy blow job by a drug/sex addict. It felt good. I wasn’t sure if it was due to lying down, or the drugs hitting my brain. Either way I had no idea what was going on.
‘Do a line, we still have lots of time to have fun,’ he said.
It seemed like a terrible idea, but I chugged the whole glass of bourbon and snorted a line straight afterwards. Stefan howled.
Actually howled.
‘Let’s finish later,’ he said, while zipping my trousers back up.
‘Okay,’ I said, while getting up. ‘I’ll see you later.’
‘See you later, sexy.’
I closed the door behind me, and everything just got blurrier and hotter. It felt like I was walking into a sauna fully clothed. I stumbled upon walking up the stairs and made my way to the dance hall. The music was deafening.
It took some trial and error, but I eventually spotted Sara.
She was with Alfie.
And Duncan.
Finally.
I walked towards them with a big smile.
‘Where the heck have you been? You’ve been gone for an hour!’ said Sara.
An hour. Weird. She was wrong. I was gone for no more than ten minutes.
‘I’ve made it!’ Duncan said, looking dapper.
I wanted to kiss him, and to dance with him, but then all the lights went off, and the music stopped.
I wasn’t sure what had happened, but then everyone was gone too. Then everything started spinning around, and I fell.
Then blackout.
I opened my eyes slowly. I was on a bed. My head hurt. Everything hurt. I was on a bed in just my pants. Had I been raped? Did Stefan take me somewhere? I was incredibly confused.
Then I looked up. Duncan was sitting on a chair next to the bed.
‘Hi,’ he said. Softly.
‘Where am I?’
‘My room. I told Sara it would be better for you to come here, since we don’t live too far from each other.’
‘I don’t understand,’ I said, while slowly sitting up.
‘Hey, easy!’ he said, while helping me stabilise.
‘What happened?’
‘Well, I am not sure. I went to the party, but you weren’t there. But then you finally came and then passed out. Straight away. It looked painful.’
‘Oh, god.’
‘Did you take anything odd?’ he asked.
‘No, I don’t think so. What time is it?’
‘It’s five in the morning.’
‘You stayed awake for me?’
‘Yeah, I was worried,’ he said, while caressing my drenched hair.
‘I am so sorry.’
‘About what?’
‘About all of this. I ruined our evening. I was really looking forward to dancing and kissing and whatever.’
‘It’s fine. New Year’s is overrated anyway.’
‘I’m really embarrassed.’
‘Don’t be. I was more worried than anything. I wasn’t sure if you needed a hospital!’
‘You made the right call. Thank you.’
He smiled tenderly.
‘Are you okay, Leo?’
I sighed and took a break.
‘I’m not sure.’
‘You know, you can talk to me.’
‘I just ruined everything.’
He gave me a soft, tiny kiss on the lips.
‘Happy New Year, Leo,’ he smiled. ‘You didn’t ruin anything.’
I smiled slightly, but I felt incredibly guilty.
‘I think I should go.’
‘Don’t be silly. Go back to bed!’ he said, with a worried face.
‘I need to go,’ I said while getting up and putting my trousers back on. ‘I am so sorry you had to do this.’
‘Leo, seriously. I just wanted you to be okay. I wasn’t thinking about anything else.’ He stood up in front of me. ‘I just came for you.’
‘And I fucking passed out,’ I interrupted, while putting my shirt back on. ‘I am mortified.’
‘Why are you being so apologetic? It wasn’t your fault!’
‘I don’t know what happened. I just know it wasn’t supposed to happen.’ I put my hands on his shoulders. ‘I really like you, Duncan. I really, really do. When we kissed, it was magical. And I know it’s god-awfully cheesy to say so, but it’s how I felt. What you have in front of you isn’t the best version of myself, but if you’re patient, if you wait for just a little longer, I will be.’