I think it was because humans didn’t like to see shifting. I felt stupid for being so embarrassed about it for so long.
Finny handed me a small case as the rest of the crew filed out of the dressing room.
“What’s this?” I opened it up to see two small, round lenses. They were thin and made from an almost glass-like material that was featherlight.
“They’re for your eyes. I figured brown was better than blue for this character, since it won’t draw too much attention from the other, dominant characters onstage at the time.” Finny picked one of the disks up between their fingers and held it up to the light. Painted on the lens was a brown iris.
“You place them over your eye, like so.” Finny held their eyelids apart and slid the lens flush against their eye. They blinked, adjusting it with their lids before looking at me. It covered the color of Finny’s green eye, masking it as brown.
“Does it...hurt?” The whole thing made me horribly uncomfortable. Finny laughed and shook their head.
“Not at all! It takes some practice getting it in and out.” They slipped the lens off their eye and blinked a couple of times. “You have some time, since you go on so late. Good luck!”
With a squeeze of my shoulder, Finny placed the used lens back into the case and dashed off to join their fellow crew members onstage.
I sat in front of the vanity with the lenses displayed before me. They seemed safe after seeing Finny use them, but I still hated the idea of something touching my eye. It was critical that I hide my mismatched eyes from the crowd, and not just because they might distract from the dominant characters. The Baron was sure to be out there in the audience, or at least one of the snakes that worked for him would be.
Taking a breath, I took the unused lens and held the eyelids of my blue eye apart and dropped the lens in place like Finny had. It felt strange and uncomfortable, but after I blinked a couple of times, it wasn’t so bad. I looked at myself in the mirror and immediately got sick.
I didn’t recognize myself.
I was so pale and miserable looking, with dark smudges under my eyes, which I didn’t recognize as my own. I didn’t even have my red hair. I was blond. I had been blond for so long now. My eyes, the trait that had always been mine, was masked. My momma had loved my eyes. I loved my eyes.
Seeing myself masked broke my heart.
I gasped some as a quick knock came from the dressing room door. I sniffed back tears, wiping my nose on the back of my hand, and cleared my throat. “Yes?”
When the door opened, a very handsome man walked inside wearing chocolate-colored trousers and vest over a cream shirt. Black curls were slicked back to make them behave, and slightly scuffed dress shoes covered human feet.
Danny gave me a soft smile and held up a scarlet rose. “Hey, beautiful.”
“Danny…” I got to my feet, lost at his appearance. “W--...why aren’t you in your Satyr form?”
“Shifted forms aren’t allowed at events like this.” He gave a shrug like it wasn’t a big deal, but I knew what it meant for Satyrs to shift into their human forms. They rarely did, ever, and it was almost too much for me to bear. “I didn’t want to miss your first play.”
He’d shifted for me. This was my fault.
His eyebrows furrowed, and his smile faded. A look of concern and sadness rippled over his gorgeous face as he took a step toward me. “Scarlet...what happened to your eyes?”
“By the gods,” I whispered as my tears finally broke. “Danny, I’m so sorry.” I squeezed my eyes shut so I didn’t have to see it all anymore. I hated seeing Danny hide himself, and I hated how I looked, standing in that dressing room. I was lost so deep in my misery that I didn’t know how to even call for help anymore.
I felt Danny’s arms around me seconds later, and I was surrounded by the smell of cinnamon and spice, of licorice smoke and soft cotton. I grabbed onto the back of his vest and held on, burying my face in his neck to try and hide away. Danny let me cry for a long time before he eased me back and wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.
“You gotta tell me what’s going on, Scarlet.” His forest eyes were dark with worry and sadness as he looked into mine. “What happened?”
I confessed. Everything.
I told him about the Baron, the attack, the night in jail, and all I had lost.
“Gods,” he whispered, and I could hear the pain in his voice. My eyes were downcast and dripping tears, but I imagined how hurt his eyes must have been. His hands found mine and squeezed them, and I could hear his throat click when he swallowed. “Did he hurt you?”
I shook my head but winced when Danny examined my tender wrists.
“That’s the worst of it. Just the bruises.”
“Why didn’t you come find me?”
Guilt and shame pricked at my heart, pinching my chest as I took an unsteady breath.
“I didn’t want him to find you, Danny. I didn’t want him to come after you. I couldn’t do that to you.”
My hand was lifted to his lips, and he kissed my fingers and palm. His breath tickled my skin as he spoke against my hand. His voice was torn and battered, and I knew tears were threatening. “I should have been there for you, Scarlet. Gods, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I wish I could kill that bastard myself.”
I wished it was all I needed to tell him. I wished that the story didn’t continue with more pain, more disappointment and shame, but it did. It wasn’t just the Baron trying to hurt me; it was the sickening truth of me that had my stomach twisting in knots.
Through sobs, I told him about the audition and admitted that I was broken, that I could never be anything but one side of a two-sided world. I could never give him that. I could never be a full Mimic. I was fake.
“Scarlet, baby, you need to listen very carefully to me.” His voice was firm and clear as he cupped my jaw with both of his hands. He waited until I opened my eyes, locking our gazes together. His eyes were alive, dancing fireflies in a storm. “There is nothing wrong with you.”
“Danny--”
“There is nothing wrong with you, Scarlet. You are not broken. You are not crippled. You are the most perfect being on this planet, and I don’t give a flying unicorn shit what those arrogant twats onstage think.” He stroked his thumbs against my tear-streaked cheeks. “You are you.”
“I can’t do what Mimics are supposed to. People see me in my dresses and think I’m pretending or that I’m crazy.” I gasped, my head pounding.
“There’s nothing crazy about how sexy you are in those dresses.” His voice was low and simmering, and it made my skin prickle with goose bumps.
“What about…”
“Fuck ‘em.” He brought my forehead to his and shook his head. “I’m so sorry if I made you think any of that was important to me. I should have been there for you. I don’t care about your Mimic abilities. Scarlet, all I care about is how you make me feel.”
I reached up and put my hands over his wrists, shutting my eyes and breathing deep. My heart was fluttering like a baby bird, and my chest didn’t ache with misery each time I took a breath.
“I gave up everything to be here, and I hate it,” I admitted softly. “I’m so miserable and lost. They called me broken and tossed me this stupid part out of pity.” I swallowed hard as an icy knot formed in my throat. “I don’t know what to do.”