KRISTEN
When Kristen rolled over in bed, panic set in. Jake was gone. It was 9:00 a.m. She didn't waste a minute, frantically springing from the bed. Trapped by the sheets tangled around her legs, she almost fell flat on her face. With an exasperated cry, she ripped them off and set out on her search. But it was useless. There wasn't a sound to be heard, other than the baby's soft breaths. Trying to ignore the rampant palpitations, she ran through the empty kitchen to the front door.
Her eyes darted to the side of the house where he normally parked his truck. He sat in the driver's seat, his face long and forlorn. The rumbling of the engine meshed with the low rhythm of rock music.
“Jake! Wait!” she called out, rushing to the passenger side, flinging the door open.
Surprised by her presence, he looked down at her. Before he could say a word, she hauled herself onto the step, reaching up to him.
“We were supposed to talk before you left. Why didn't you wake me?”
All of a sudden he felt like a broken fool, speechless and dumb, her terrified face, eyes still sticky with sleep, lighting a spark in him. What he had to do wasn't going to be easy and the main reason he had snuck out of the house.
“Well?” Her trembling fingers chilled his face.
He tried not to concentrate on the yellowish-green twinkle of her eyes in the sunlight, but it was useless. With a reluctant sigh, he switched the ignition off.
“I'll be back later, can't we talk then?” It had never been a habit of his to procrastinate, but this was proving harder and more painful than he had imagined. When those eyes, filled with so much hope and sadness wouldn’t release him, he had no choice and hopped out of the truck to follow her back inside.
She set two cups of coffee on the table and waited with baited breath.
“I'll come back after work to see Alex every day…”
“What are you talking about? Are you moving out?” Why didn’t I check the truck for his bags?
Still unable to avoid her eyes and not sure how to handle it, he took her fragile hands in his, holding them tight. “Kristen, its better if we spend some time apart. Just to see how it goes.”
Her full lips appeared even more inviting as they quivered, making it almost impossible to resist. And like he feared, it kept getting harder. When a soft, helpless sound escaped those lips, he couldn't stop himself from caressing her hair.
“I don't have to see anything Jake, I know…” The tears prevented her from finishing.
His fingers brushed her cheeks, trying to wipe them away.
“That's what you say now, but I'm not sure you mean it, Kris. What you did, how you feel about him… I need time to get over it.” It was his most valiant effort to be strong and determined.
Her sobs grew louder, more heart wrenching.
“I'll come by every day, I'll help you with money. It'll be just a few days. You know where I am.”
“No, I don't want that Jake. Where will you stay, how far away?” She whimpered between convulsive sobs and sniffles.
Maybe she’s finally giving in. It would help since I am starting to doubt my decision. In an effort to focus, he rubbed his forehead needing to relieve the pressure.
They sat in silence for a couple of minutes listening to Alex's sporadic gurgling noises. Giving Jake a dejected pout, she left the room to check on him. He told himself not to pay attention, to ignore it all, but couldn’t tune out her sweet voice as it trickled out of the bedroom. When she returned with Alex in her arms, he took a deep sigh.
“Here's daddy.”
The cheerfulness in her voice failed to convince him and in an instant, Alex lay cuddled in his arms.
She’s planning to break my heart and doing a great job.
He gazed at his son, stressing. Can he sense the turmoil?
“Where did you say you were staying?” A hint of moisture still shone in her eyes as she stared at him.
I can’t let her play me like this. He shifted around in his chair to face her.
“At Henry's restaurant. He has a studio upstairs. Kris, come on be reasonable.”
“Reasonable? You're the one being unreasonable. I thought you weren't running from your problems anymore.” Her eyes were innocent and wide as they sank into him.
Once again, she surprised him. Was he really running, or doing what was right? Suddenly drained of energy, he exhaled and handed Alex back to her.
“I'll be back after work. We can have dinner and talk. I'll bring something from the restaurant.” He was already on his feet when she returned from putting the baby down.
She didn't want to beg him—it wasn't something she excelled at or enjoyed. But the threat of being alone, especially after the incident with Logan, his continual pursuit and looming imprisonment, all came crashing down at once, destroying her willpower. Sometimes things just had to be done.
“Jake please, at least stay here tonight then if you still feel this way in the morning…” Her arms fastened around his waist entrapping him. She stood on her toes straining for his face.
“Okay Kristen, we'll see. I'll text you later.” He shook his head wearily, waiting for her to release him. Seeing it wasn't happening, he lifted her up, kissing her. Her arms traveled upward, encircling his neck. “Come on baby, please. I'm late already.”
When she eventually relented, he ruffled her hair, letting his eyes roam her from head to toe one last time before he entered the truck. Despite how much he battled looking back at the house, he was compelled to. The image of her face in the window haunted him as he sped away.
* * *
The afternoon was too glorious to stay inside obsessing about Jake, or re-living the horrifying encounter with Nick. Most of all, a reprieve from Logan’s persistent nagging promised a welcome distraction. When Alicia invited her to lunch, she didn’t think twice, except about bringing the baby.
Jake will be even more upset, but since he’s over protective and threatening to leave me anyway, why should I care? It really isn't up to him anymore.
They strolled along A1A, enjoying the 85-degree weather and the warmth of the sun on their bare skin. Alex fell asleep the minute he hit the car seat and still dozed in his stroller. After a few minutes Kristen stopped to tuck his little blue blanket tighter around him and looked around her. The damp sand sparkled like diamonds before her, beckoning. She didn’t have to say a word. Alicia lifted the baby into her arms. With a relieved sigh, Kristen stepped out her sandals and sprinted into the surf. The squawking of seagulls mingled with the laughter of bathers soaking in the aquamarine sea filled her with an unusual sense of serenity. Until she peeked up at the sky, so clear, pure, blue and Logan’s face made a surprise visit, buckling her knees.
Why is peace so unattainable?
Shaking her head to dispel the image she dashed across the sand sinking to her knees next to Alex.
“Are you okay?” Alicia plucked off her sunglasses, to squint at her. Kristen gave her a meager nod. “Let’s find a place. I’m starving suddenly.” Anxious to change the subject, she offered some suggestions for lunch venues. By the time they made a decision it wasn’t an accident that The Red Sun Cafe was in the opposite direction. The mere thought of walking past it, made her skin crawl.