He doesn’t see the darkness. He sees the sunshine that I’ve allowed him to see when the curtains are only half opened.
Then I remember where I’m at and why I’m here.
“That’s not what my parents say.”
“I’m sorry to say this, B, but your parents are fucking crazy. If anyone has issues it’s them. I’m seeing it more and more each day.”
“You’re just being nice.” I smile. “Haven’t you heard the saying the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?”
“Of course I have, but I also know that no apple is perfect, and eventually, they all fall.”
“I just need to know…”
I’m cut off when Jasper begins to pull at my arm. The coast is clear. We shuffle down the hallway until we reach Talon’s room. I swing open the door and my heart drops. Empty.
“Where did he go?” I gasp.
“Stay here.” Jasper instructs me, shutting the door behind him as he goes back into the hall.
For once, I do as I’m told. Minutes feel like hours as I stand here with the tube dangling from my arm. I look at the bag of fluid that is almost empty and realize I don’t have much time before this thing starts beeping.
The first time it happened I was twelve. It was just over one year after the accident. It was summer vacation, and I had just got my first designer purse. I couldn't wait to show it off. I was riding my bike to meet Meg halfway when a van pulled up beside me. At first, I didn’t think much of it. Redwood is a pretty safe town. I’ve never encountered anyone who gave me reason to feel that some of the residents were anything less than friendly.
“Hey there, young lady. Our dog seems to have run off. Have you seen him come through here at all?” The passenger said, through the cracked window that was rolled halfway.
Smoke rolled out as he exhaled a cloud with his words. I look to the driver who had a devilish grin on his face that instantly told me to keep moving. But my feet didn’t move. It’s as if I was frozen in place. My mind kept telling my body to go but my body didn’t listen, in typical Blakely Porter fashion, always being stubborn.
The van door opened as the hinge screeched. I focused on the movement and the orange rust that had replaced some of the blue paint.
Go, Blakely. Just go.
I still couldn’t move.
I felt his strong hand wrap around my bare arm as his calloused fingers scratched the surface of my skin. Just as he gave a pull, I heard a voice that shook me from my slumber.
Meg.
“Blakely, what are you doing? Who are they?” she asked, now at my side. Just as oblivious to the situation as I was.
The grip on me released and the door slammed shut, kicking off a chunk of rust and leaving behind a fog of exhaust. I watched as the van drove off and it wasn’t until it rounded the corner that I was finally able to move. I brushed my hand over my drenched forehead and credited it to the high heat. Unknown at the time that it was more. So much more.
The door swings open and I expect to see Jasper alone, only he’s not. A young lady in scrubs is shaking her head with her arms crossed over her chest. Jasper pierces his lips in an attempt not to laugh, and I smile at his response to the awkward encounter.
“You, young lady, should be in bed.” The nurse hisses, taking hold of my temporary accessory and pulling it toward the hall, forcing me to follow.
I stumble into the hall. “Where is my brother?” I mutter with worry behind my words.
“He was released. That’s all the information I could get.” Jasper shrugs. He’s seemingly unaffected, which means one of two things. Talon really is okay, or he doesn’t have anything to go on to assume otherwise.
I stop in my tracks and endure the pull of the tube in my arm as the nurse continues. Once she feels the resistance, she turns around. “Come on. You can catch up once your back in your room. The doctor is waiting to release you.”
I drop the subject for now. I’m getting released. I can figure out what’s going on once I get the hell out of this dreadful place.
Chapter Seventeen
Jasper
In Psychology class last week we touched on a subject that stood out to me. Solipsism. It’s the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.
Would I call B a solipsistic person? No, I wouldn’t. Though, others see things a bit differently than I do. After her father lashed out at me and told me to stay the hell away from his daughter, for reasons unknown to me, he proceeded to tell me that she’s manic. His exact words, “She’s crazy enough without you making her worse.” I didn’t respond, though he kept talking.
I knelt down beside B while they got her onto the gurney. I brushed her drenched hair away from her pale face and whispered in her ear that I wouldn’t leave her side, and I meant it.
“When things get real, she makes herself pass out. It’s all for attention and you’re feeding into it. Blakely lives in her world and nothing else matters.”
I expected her dad to stick around, but once they took her back into a room to examine her, he left. Never even asked how she was getting home. Apparently, he needed to catch a flight for business.
It’s obvious that B has some issues that have always been brushed under the table and saved for another time. Only, that time will never come for her parents. They will continue to sweep away her cries for help, just like they did with Talon. Now he is on his way to California for the next thirty days to a rehabilitation center, before moving in with his Aunt and Uncle. In my opinion, it’s for the best. If only B would take an out and get away from her self-absorbed parents. She insists that she has to stay until after graduation. I’ll never understand it, but I don’t have to.
I look over at her sleeping peacefully in the passenger seat of my car. Her hair is a beautiful matted mess. Her mouth agape. Every couple of minutes, I catch her wiping drool with the back of her hand. I smile each time. Blakely Porter drools. Another new thing I’ve learned and another thing that I love, because it makes her, her. B isn’t solipsistic; she’s a normal girl who faces normal problems.
Her phone vibrates on the seat for the twentieth time since we’ve left the hospital. I glance down, Knox again. I could answer it and let him know that she’s okay. I’m sure he’s worried about her. For my own selfish reasons, though, I don’t. I want to be her hero today.
We pull into my driveway, and she immediately jumps up. “Are we home already?”
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” I smile.
She runs her fingers through her hair, catching them on some of the snarls. Fighting to break through, she gives up.
“Ugh, I need a shower.” Her fingers wrap around her phone when she sees all of the missed calls. “Knox.” She gasps. Tapping away at her phone, she brings it to her ear with her eyes pierced in front of her. “Hey. Yes, I’m fine. I swear, Knox. It was just a little episode. Talon called you? Good, I’m glad he’s getting out of here.” She goes quiet. “Knox, can I stay?”
My heart drops a little. We live in the same house. Couldn’t she just ask me? I suppose I need to get used to the fact that he will always come first. How can I compete with that? I open the door and climb out while she finishes her conversation.