Like I needed to hear that.
Every time I thought about being intimate with Garrett, I became overwhelmed and not in a good way. The man was attractive and turned me on…kinda. The good ole saying goes that if you want to get over one man get under another. Immaturely I wanted to get rid of my craving for Amell by having sex with Garrett. It needed to work. My sanity banked on it.
“Are still coming into town for Dom’s birthday party? I really need you there with me?”
Another factor, I’d be traveling to Florida next month for Noelani’s husband’s birthday party. There was no way in hell I’d be able to come into the city without seeing him. I had to get him out my system before then. I had to show him that he hadn’t affected me all these years. That I met another man who gave me what he refused. If all went to plan Garrett was coming with me.
“I’ll be there I promise. Now let me get going.”
“Okay. Call me when you land. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Hanging up I grabbed my bags and rushed upstairs to my condo. All day my nerves have been giving me the blues. I had anxiety for no reason and the small nagging feeling that being with Garrett was wrong.
“Shit.” Stepping off the elevator I read the text he sent me fifteen minutes ago letting me know that he was on his way. He lived thirty minutes from me with traffic, so I had little to no time to pack my bags.
Deactivating my alarm and rushing to my room, I stopped. Bags dropped out my hands and my eyes closed as if on command. My body trembled. I don’t know if the tears forming behind my eyelids were from excitement or…excitement. Was I so frustrated with my hormones that I imagined him here?
“What do you want from me, Krishna?” His abrupt question caused my eyelashes to damn near touch my eyebrows. Standing to his full height of pure man, he licked his lips while I took several deep breaths.
“Since you were sixteen you always looked at me like I was the king of your universe. Wanted me too inappropriately for a girl your age. I ignored you because that was the right thing to do. Then I kissed you on the night of your eighteenth birthday. That shit fucked with me for a long time. I blamed your mom for asking me to make your birthday memorable, but I went too far by kissing you. Still, I ignored you and went on about my life.”
Neither of us moved. My hands were shaking, eager to touch him. “Then your sneaky ass ditched David and came to Florida, alone. Do you know that I wanted to murk one of my most trusted shooters because he was doing his job? Seeing that gun in your face, I almost lost my cool. Talking to you seemed so easy. I had a friend once who I loved too late that I never felt comfortable enough to let her see my scars. But you, them bitches glowed for you. Like you were calling out to them.
“I held you in my arms. Let you see me vulnerable. Naked and unashamed. I asked for you to wait for me, Krishna. All I needed was for you to be a little patient. To save the last dance for me. And then to hear that someone else might be cutting in,” he shook his head, onyx eyes refusing to let me go.
“What do you want from me, Krishna?” Hearing him ask me that for the second time made me sad. Made me angry. If he could recap everything then what was left for me to explain?
I opened my mouth to speak only to shut it at the knock on my door. My eyes widened in worry at the same time a young boy came out of my bathroom. Narrowing my eyes, a little I realized it was the cutie who wiped my tears and told me pretty girls don’t cry all those years ago.
Seeing me JD smiled. “Hi, Krishna.” He removed his hand-held game from the bookbag at Amell’s feet and sat on my couch. He had to be eleven or twelve now. Tall and handsome like his uncle. “Hey, sweetie. How have you been?” “I’m good.” Such a teenager.
“JD usually spends the weekends with his Uncle fishing, but I wanted to surprise you.” Amell moved toward my door and I stepped in front of him. “I’ll send him away if you won’t.” He had some nerve.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I challenged his fine ass. “Are you staying after your jealous rant?”
As if he wasn’t satisfied enough by having my heart without ever asking, his lips curved into the most beautiful smile that seemed to glow against his dark skin.
“Unless you want to see how I handle jealousy, a feeling I never felt before you, I’d advise that you send him on his merry little way to safety.”
Mixed between elation and pissed off, I turned on the balls of my feet and answered my door. “Hey, Garrett.” I sandwiched my body between the frame and door. The last thing I needed was for him to see Amell or Amell to see him.
“Hey, baby. Are you ready to go?”
God forgive me for what I’m about to do.
“About that.” I felt like shit, I really did but what did he expect me to do? “A family emergency came up and in the midst of handling things I forgot to call and tell you that I won’t be able to go with you. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.” I felt like a recorded email.
Then to make it all worse Amell was on the other side of the door touching me. Caressing my back. Running his hand up under my shirt.
Garrett’s smile turned into a bag of crushed apples. “Really? Are you sure you can’t come? Is it your uncle?” He kept trying to look over my shoulder, making me sweat.
“Krishna, I’m hungry. Can we go get something to eat?” I know damn well Amell wasn’t stooping that low to use a damn kid? JD pushed between me and the door and glared up at a confused Garrett. “Who is this man?” Good lord.
“I’m really sorry, Garrett, but I have to go. Have a safe trip.” Closing the door on him felt low, really low. “Y’all are wrong as hell to do that. Amell, I can’t believe you.”
He didn’t answer me. JD went back to playing his game while Amell stood with his arms open. “Can I hug you?” Something was off. Really off. Moving closer to him I took in his stance and what I saw had me removing all space between us.
Damn deja vu. The man holding me looked like my wounded knight that sought me out when his mother betrayed him. My eyes watered at the deep sigh and relax of his shoulders.
“Talk to me, Amell. Tell me why you’re really here.” All my guards went up again. If this was going to be like that night with him dumping his problems on me and then leaving before, I woke up, I at least wanted to protect myself this time.
Following him out to my balcony I really got hit over the head with old memories. This felt too familiar. Too painful. He sat down with me sitting across from him.
“Noelani showed me your picture last week. You were all hugged up with him and that,” he shook his head looking off. “I became jealous. It made me angry to see this man touching you. Holding you. Making you smile.”
“So your selfish ass came here and forced me to run him off because your feelings are butt hurt?” Amell was glowering at me but he could save that for those who feared him. Only thing I feared about him was his ability to break me.
“Watch it, Krishna.”
“No, Amell. I like him, and yeah meeting his family might seem too fast but at least he wanted to show me where I stood in his life. Not once have I ever had to question his intentions with me. But you, you only come to me when you need to dumb your garbage and then think it’s cool to leave me to scrap up the load you left me alone to process. As much as I’m happy to see you, if you don’t plan on being more than a figment of my imagination then I need you to leave.”