“I’m good. Bruised, but nothing I can’t handle,” I grinned at Leo.
“I’ll take you to the hospital,” Grace’s voice piped up. “You should go to the hospital. You could have bleeding, broken ribs…” She looked over me, and while there was a lost look before, there was now a frantic edge that pissed me off.
“No hospital. Nothing’s broken. I’m good.”
“No, you’re not,” she argued with more force.
“Oh yeah? And how would you know?” I stand, pissed that she’s questioning me.
“Because I saw you get punched. And kicked. God, Maddison, it was horrible.”
“Yeah, I remember. I was there.”
“Why are you being like this?” Her eyes went shiny, and a part of me felt like a dick for what I was saying, but that part of me was buried right now.
“Because I’m pissed, that’s why. I nearly lost this fucking fight, all because of you.” I jabbed my finger in her face, and she took a step back.
“Me?” she asked, confused.
“Yeah, you. You weren’t supposed to be here. I saw you in the crowd, and that moment let him get the drop on me.” As I said the words, I heard the blood pumping in my veins, the rush drowning out any sense of reason.
“That’s not fair. I wanted to show you I was sorry. I thought you wanted me here.” She shook her head at me, denying the truth I knew.
“Well, maybe I don’t anymore. Maybe you’re too much of a distraction if I’m going to win.”
“Is that all you ever care about? Winning?” Her voice cracked as she asked.
I’m about to lay into her again when I feel Leo grip my bicep. “Leave it, man. This isn’t what you want.” His voice of reason seemed to cut through some of the haze floating in my brain, and his eyes turned a little darker with his warning.
He was right. But I was seething, and I needed to get rid of it. Frustration, anger, and disappointment all congealed through my body, taking me over and poisoning me to everything and everyone around me. Grace had always been able to cut through that—my antidote—and bring me back to reality. Grace and Oliver, that was. But he chose to abandon both of us. Well, screw them. Screw them both.
“Take her home,” I called as I turned and headed back out. This fight hadn’t played out the way I’d wanted, but it was still a big deal, and I need to make sure I secured the next step. Zuri’s promises and deals were starting to wear thin.
“Wait? Maddison?”
I ignored her calls and pushed through the doors and back into the club.
Zuri was on me in seconds. “That was close, boy. Not what we planned.”
“I won, didn’t I?”
“Yes. But you must do better.”
“Better?” I shouted, pissed that after knocking the guy out, he still wanted more. “What the fuck, Zuri? How can I be better than winning?”
“If you want in on Mikey’s circuit, then you will do better. I take you. I introduce you, and you will see what I mean.” Mikey was a big shot on the London scene and had connections. Apparently, his fights were the best, and I wanted in. If Zuri ever delivered. I’d heard the same story over and over the last few months, but tonight I wanted answers.
“When?”
“We go next month. You will see, and then you will be serious.”
“Fuck it. I am serious.”
“No.” He shook his head at me. “Your head needs to be in the game. Not with that girl. Lucky charm she was not.”
“How much?” I changed the subject. I didn’t want to talk about Grace.
“Ten. More on the bets, especially after how you started.”
“That’s not enough.” A few grand here and there wasn’t enough. Not by a long shot. I couldn’t prove to everyone how successful I was or provide for Grace and give her whatever she wanted if I had to string a few grand along between fights.
“You will get there. No patience. Now, go. Clean up. Enjoy.”
I was in a piss-poor mood, but what other choice did I have? I wasn’t going home to face Grace. Not yet. She knew I needed to cool off. She’d understand.
The party would be going for a while, so I went back to shower and shoved some clothes on that weren’t splattered in blood.
The Club was packed—wall to wall with customers who’d all bought a piece of the action. As I made my way to the top bar, people slapped my back and tried to shake my hand, but I wasn’t interested. I pushed my way to the front of the bar, and a shot of JD and bottle of beer were in front of me in seconds, courtesy of Joey.
My grand plan was simple. Numb the buzzing away. It had been a while since resorting to getting wasted had been necessary, but I’d take anything right now. The shot burned my throat but only in a good way, and the beer quenched my thirst. The combo did the trick and began to settle a part of me.
“Hey there.” The silky-smooth voice sounded from behind me, and I already knew who it was. Amanda was a regular at The Club, a try-hard with all the fighters who came through. I’d seen her routine when I worked the bar those first few months.
“Hey, Amanda.”
“Close call, Mads.” She sidled up to me and leaned her forearms on the bar top, giving Joey a splendid view of her rack.
“Not so much.” I took another sip of my beer.
“Want to get out of here?” She twisted towards me, shoving her fake lashes and inch-thick makeup right into my face.
“No. Why don’t you go find yourself another guy? Because this,” I point my bottle between the two of us, “is never happening.”
“Oh, don’t be like that. I can show you a good time.”
I had no doubt she could. I’d fuck her with none of the restraint I’d have to show Grace. Use her body for my pleasure and not worry about the bruises I might leave. My hand gripped the bottle of my beer as I pictured Grace leaning over our table as I fucked into her.
In the beginning, I thought she’d be able to handle what I liked, but after that night I knew the truth and it fucking tore me to pieces.
Amanda’s hand crept over my arm and pulled me back to the now. I knocked her away. “Don’t fucking touch what isn’t yours.”
“Fine. Go home to your mousey girl and enjoy your safe missionary sex.”
I downed the rest of my beer and watched her leave through the crowd.
Fuck it.
Chapter 22
Grace 21 Years Old
If I’d thought the days before the fight were hard, they were nothing like the days after.
There was no communication from Mads, not even a sign that he’d been home while I was at work. His room was frozen, with all the items in the same spot as before. He’d ignored all my messages and made no effort to contact me. I didn’t even know who was meant to be angrier at whom by this point. It was a mess, and every day that passed without a word, my heart darkened, weighed down by the hurt that Mads was causing with his selfish attitude.
My messages to Leo even stayed unanswered, like I was suddenly someone to ignore.
Nearly a week passed with no word. I’d barely slept or eaten, and I was sick with fear. Fear at what he was thinking, where he was… Images of his fight played over and over in my mind, but this time, the other guy finished Maddison. Every dark and scary thought I’d ever had passed over my mind and I kept landing on him lashing out and doing something stupid and reckless that had finally got him hurt.