“I’m sorry.” She held me just as tightly. “I’m so sorry.”
I pulled the blanket over us completely, burying us in our little cocoon. I just needed to know that she was okay. And to forget what I’d seen.
Even when hours had passed and she’d fallen asleep, I held her. I knew I’d ever be the same again. Tonight had proven how fucked up mating was.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I got up, scribbled a note—a final goodbye—and then I slipped out.
20
Mel
Leaving Sunkissed Key meant giving up on Mac.
And I was. I blocked his number, on the off chance he might try to call or something, although I knew that was a long shot.
The vacation fling was over, and I made a vow never to return to the island.
Mac didn’t know where I lived. So, goodbye was goodbye.
And that was the way he wanted it.
I was gloomy and depressed, and I didn’t even try to hide it.
As Ingrid drove us off the island and to the Miami Airport, she hummed along with the radio, but I could feel a melancholy in her too. We were an unhappy pair. I shed silent tears while staring out my window and we didn’t talk until we were at the airport. Even then, it was only a few words here and there.
I wanted to apologize for being the biggest downer ever, but I couldn’t figure out how to even begin the conversation without crying. Pathetic.
The flight back home to Syracuse wasn’t long, but by the time we got our luggage and an Uber to take us home, I felt like I’d run a marathon. Ingrid rested her head on my shoulder in the backseat of the car and that small contact made me feel marginally better. I was worried she was mad at me for ruining her much deserved vacation.
Ingrid insisted on coming with me back to my house, instead of going home to hers. She helped me bring everything inside and then we both sprawled on opposite ends of the couch and stared up at the ceiling, neither speaking. My phone rang somewhere in the house, but it didn’t matter. I just ignored it and focused on breathing through the tightness in my chest.
“What a trip, huh?”
I turned my head to look at Ingrid and rolled my eyes. “I ruined it for you. I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t ruin anything for me, Mel. The moment I watched Pierce pick up a random twat in the pub, and take her back to his hotel room, it was ruined.” She sighed. “I’m glad I could help take care of you. You’ve been the one caring for me for some time now. It was my turn.”
I blinked back tears. “We take care of each other. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“I’m bloody sorry you got your heart broken. You don’t deserve that.”
I groaned and rubbed my eyes. “It makes no sense for me to take it so hard, right? I mean… I barely knew him. A couple short conversations, some really amazing sex…and then there was that whole hero thing. You know, rescuing me from being stuck in a tree, and saving my life. Twice.”
“Smoking hot heroic firefighters who repeatedly save lives are overrated.”
“I had these crazy ideas, Ingrid. I’m so embarrassed now.” Tears started leaking from the corners of my eyes. “That night I went to him, it just felt so right. When I woke up in bed with him, I couldn’t stop thinking about how right it was and how I wanted to do just that every single day for the rest of my life. I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot.”
“I fell for a guy that was supposed to be a vacation fling. How the hell could I miss him like this? And that beautiful little baby. My heart just opened right up to both of them as though I’d know them their whole lives.”
She clicked her tongue. “I’m so sorry, Mel. Maybe it’ll fade as fast as it came on.”
I didn’t think it would. “You know what the worst part is? The worst damned part? I still have some stupid sliver of hope that maybe he’ll come after me. That he’ll track me down and come bursting into my life to profess his love like some stupid asinine romantic comedy. You know, like Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire? ‘You complete me.’”
“Oh, honey.”
I cried harder. “I know. I’m so stupid.”
“No. You’re not stupid. He’s stupid. Men are stupid.” When my phone started ringing again, she groaned and went to find it. “It’d better be an emergency. What kind of bell-end calls multiple times in a row?”
I heard her swear from the other room. “Who is it?”
“Adam. Adam’s called—seventeen times.”
I winced. “I haven’t checked my phone.” The one person I wanted to call me didn’t have my number, so what was the point?”
She came back into the room and waved the phone at me. “Should I get rid of him?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to get you into anymore hot water than I have already.”
I blew out a deep breath. I had to face the music and deal with Adam sooner or later. I owed him at least that, I guessed. As soon as I answered, though, it was obvious he just wanted to hurl insults at me.
“I can’t believe the nerve of you. Do you have any idea what you did?” I could practically see the foam collecting at the sides of his mouth. “My mother is livid.”
Sighing, I tried to stay calm. “I’m sorry, Adam. You’re right. I could have handled that break-up better.” Ingrid was expressing her disagreement by making faces and obscene hand gestures at the phone.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you. I truly am.”
“Ha! Hurt me? Mel you may think your dried up old cunt is something special, but I assure you it’s not. What you hurt was my goddamned bank account. My mother promised to retire and hand over the reins of the company to me when you and I married. Now that offer’s off the table. Your actions did damage to my livelihood. That’s what you fucking cost me. You’ll be hearing from my lawyers. I plan to sue for compensation.”
I pulled the phone away from my face and stared at it. Already tired and emotionally raw, my anger was quick to surface. “Yeah? Good luck with that. You are completely out of your mind, Adam. You want to bring a frivolous lawsuit to the courts, go for it.”
I ended the call and rolled my head back, staring up at the ceiling. It was suddenly hard to fathom that I had ever been under the delusion that being with Adam was a better choice than growing old alone.
21
Mac
Mel was no longer on the island. I knew because…well, I just knew. The entire island was different without her. Something in the air had changed. It was heavier. The sun, while just as hot, didn’t seem nearly as bright.
I should maybe feel pleased that I’d saved us both from falling into a deeper bond.
I hadn’t been thinking only of myself. Sure, as a human, Mel was naturally more susceptible to ailments or injuries, and as a shifter I was tough, but fighting fires was a dangerous profession. I didn’t want her to have to suffer from a broken mating bond either.
And I felt like shit. Absolute shit. I went through every day like a zombie. I went to work, I cared for Ame, I helped with Warren.