“I believed you were the woman sent from my fucking dreams, and you shattered that dream. Yeah, it hurt like hell, but it’s getting better.”
This is the first time I have the balls to admit it, even to myself. It is getting better; things are looking brighter. Sex is not just fucking anymore, it’s cuddling, it’s laughter, and fucking insane pleasure dripping in my veins. My weekends are not at the bar anymore, hoping for the next source of entertainment to walk in wearing a tight skirt and strappy sandals. She made it all better. London made it go away.
I’m torpedoed by the thought that for the first time since Isabella left me I can - and want - to be with someone. I already have London, she’s mine and mine alone. I own her, I own her body, I own her pussy like Avery owns James’ balls. The shocking part is I wanna feel like she owns me, no matter how many times I swore it would never happen again.
“Are you and Annabella an item?”
“Shit, no. She packs more venom than you do.”
“I don’t pack venom, don’t be a jerk. So, I guess this is goodbye, we break up now?”
“Dude, you need to stop saying this. We broke up two years ago.”
Amused, she rolls her eyes and puts her palm on my cheek.
“Well, I guess we didn’t love each other that much after all.”
“No, Bella. It seemed like we did, we believed we did, but it wasn’t genuine. That wasn’t love, that was libido. And your mom really wanted you with a doctor from a good, old American family.”
“Yeah, you’re right and nothing beats the Fords in the Midwest. Anyway, I have a backup.”
You see how hard I try to show her some empathy and she is still a fucking reptile?
“Of course you do.”
“Millionaire, Wall Street. I met him at the airport when I was flying home and we joined the mile-high club. He expects my call.”
“I’ve fucked you in planes before, you were in the club already. You truly believe we had any damn chance of getting back together after you let your brains be fucked on the way here?”
“Correction, I fucked him. John is a really sweet guy, maybe what I need right now.” Someone tell John he’s about to lose his dick to the alligators. ” I... I don’t think I believed it, but I had to give it a shot. Is she worth it?”
Everything. Everything I have to give, and I can learn to give, London deserves it plus something extra on top. And she must be drooling all over me if she could put up with all the shit I have thrown in her direction.
I once believed Isabella was the end game, that she was as high as I could fly. Boy, was I wrong? And the last place I believed I could find that high is in my OR, putting the scalpel in my hand.
Me and Bella finally made peace, but I’m not stupid enough to forget what I’m facing. This woman right here is a predator, she hunts whatever she feels is worth getting, so I’m not about to oversell how London makes me feel. Isabella will stick around just to show the world she’s better. She’s that type of bitch...sorry, woman. So I lie.
“She’s...fun to play with.”
“Ha, a little mouse who wants to play with your dick?” Far from it, but I hope she wants to play with my dick.
“Yeah, just like you, I need a pet at my arm right now.” I hate myself right now for vocalizing something like that but it’s better like this. I just want her gone for good.” And London makes a good pet.”
...and that’s when I see her standing in the door.
Shaw finished the job a couple of minutes after Zach ran for the door, like he was a dog chasing a squirrel dipped in beef broth. We were both washing our hands when he spoke again.
“You can’t be seriously sad about it.”
“I’m not...no.”
“London, you are one delicious piece of ass, and I’m saying this in the most positive way. You can’t let a second-hand dick play you. Not when you have your pick of men.”
I try not to feel offended by his ignorant, sexist words because I know they come from a good place. This is just how Emmy shows himself to the world.
“Emmy, I’m fine. I have no problem with Zach talking to his ex. Do I strike you as being a jealous girlfriend?”
He finished washing and took a step back from the big, iron sink, crooked his head to the side and watched me in a funny way.
“So, it’s official, huh? You two are an item?”
I deflate and swallow my own tongue. We just hit the, ”let’s talk when my dick is not out” mark. He did open up, he showed me a thin string of compassion, but is this enough to be given a name?
Was I fine with knowing Zach was somewhere around looking into the eyes of the woman who built a wall so thick around his heart that I can barely see cracks? No, but now I feel like the other woman. She might be the ex, but at least she is something.
“We are...”
“Oh, let me guess, he keeps you in the dark. See, lovely? You can do better. Plus, I bet I have a bigger dick.”
For a fraction of a second, I just watch him with big round eyes, but then Emmy starts to take half a step towards me, and this makes me snap out of it.
“Oh, my God, Emmy no!” My hands shoot up in defense mode.
“Calm down, I’m not gonna jump you. Trust me, sooner or later Ford will drive you right in my arms...and bed.”
I can’t find the right words. I look for them, but I can’t.
Both of us jump when we hear a man screaming for Zach, and I instantly run into the hall to see what’s going on. Doctor Sullivan is searching every operating room looking frantic. I once helped to treat a cocaine addict that wasn’t that out of control.
“James, he’s not here. What is it, do we have an emergency?”
Luckily, he hears my voice and comes straight to me, clenching my arms, and I can tell right now the man is in shock.
“The ambulance...ambulance is on the way.”
“I didn’t get a page, what is it? More victims from the train wreck?”
“No. No!”
“James you you aren’t making any sense. You need to tell me what’s going on.”
“London you need to find Zach now. Right the hell now...Avery is in labor.” Oh, Gosh!
“Oh, Gosh. Now? Right now?”
“Yes, right the fuck now!” he screams in my face shaking me, and I believe this is the first time I have heard James using any kind of profanity. ” Ford has to be at my side because I will have a heart attack soon.”
“He is...he’s somewhere around here. I’ll go look and meet you in the ER. How much time do we have?”
“The ambulance was on North Cicero, dispatch says it’s gonna be ten to fifteen minutes.”
“I’m on it, go ask someone to give you a Xanax, James. You look like you’re about to throw up.”
“Oh, this is me after a Xanax. I’ll go meet Jess downstairs and wait for you, guys.” He was gone before I got to say anything else. A wide smile spreads on my face.
Oh, my God, James is gonna have a baby! And I’m part of it! I need to find Zach and drag him downstairs to put ice chips in James’ mouth and make sure he doesn’t die before meeting his baby.
I can’t think of much while making my way to the cardiology floor, I just know I need to find Dr. Ford for more reasons than one. The only problem is I have no idea where he might be.