When we stroll into the birthing room, another contraction makes her body quiver and she lets out a sound that is close to an animal in pain. Giving birthis otherworldly, but it’s a nasty affair.
Soon after, Jessica and two other people, a man and a woman, walk in, all ready to start.
“Ok, Avery, how are you?”
“EPIDURAL!”
“Wow, let’s not jump to the drugs yet. People, let’s get her up on the table. London, go clean up and fast, please. This babe wants to come out and meet us.”
I nod and go to do as she says as fast as humanly possible. When I’m back, all disinfected and ready to roll, Avery is already up on the table and Jessica is giving her a consult.
“Ave, you’re lucky. You’re already dilated eight centimeters. This is gonna be a short labor. Are you ready to push?”
“Whatever it takes to stop this.”
“A couple more minutes and you’ll be there. Breath, ok, and don’t flex your abdomen. We need those ten centimeters.”
“Ten centimeters! What does that mean because it sounds like a lot?”
Oh, here we go, a doctor’s eternal curse. They need to give measurements in fruit sizes because of the metric system.
Jessica pats Avery’s arm and gives her a reassuring nod.
“It’s the size of a bagel, enough for the baby to arrive safely.”
“A bagel?!” She’s freaking out hard. “How am I going to recover from that? James is not...he’s not exactly a bagel, you know?”
I’m arranging the materials to be on hand, and I try really hard not to burst out laughing.
“Relax, Avery, you’ll be fine in six weeks.” Jessica gives her another quick consult and that’s it. We’re good to go. “It’s time people. We have a baby to deliver. Time to push Avery.”
“But I don’t want to. It’s gonna hurt.”
“Like a bitch, but you can do it. Push.”
“No.”
Oh, my God. Jessica is starting to lose her patience because Avery’s stubbornness can cause problems for the baby. Her body is ready to deliver, the baby is ready to be born, every extra second could be a risk factor.
“Avery, I’m serious, push right the fuck now. London, give her some ice chips.”
“On it.” I take the cup full of ice chips and sit on a stool close to Avery’s head. I don’t know much about assisting a birth, so the best thing for me is to sit, watch, learn and help in all the ways I can.
I take one piece of ice and rub it gently on her lips.
“Hey, blondie, what are you doing? This is no time to try and seduce me.”
“The cold sensation will trick your brain into concentrating less on the pain. I’m trying to help you relax.”
We hear a tap on the big gallery window that allows the family to watch the birth - the hospital doesn’t allow fathers in the birth room anymore for sanitary reasons - and both Avery and I look up, finding James on the other side. From the outside, Avery is visible only from the shoulders up, so her privacy is protected.
James looks like a puppy and the kid who just got the puppy at the same time, but I can’t concentrate on him. I’m fixed on the aggressive green eyes looking at me from behind James. I knew he would be here and I’m grateful he’s not inside the room. This glass is my shield and saving grace right now.
With a lot of willpower, I break eye contact and return to our patient, shoving another piece of ice at her. I try to stay focused on the job, and frankly, there’s a lot here to distract me from, but I can feel the pull to find him again. It takes everything in me not to look up.
“Shit! Avery, you need to push harder.” said Jessica.
“I can’t, I’m in so much pain.”
The monitor that Avery is hooked up tp starts signaling some anomaly in her pulse and blood flow. Oh, damn, this is not good.
“Dr. Monroe,” I say and try to sound calm and confident so I don’t startle Avery any further. “Her blood pressure starts to be a little unstable. Maybe you should consider an epidural.”
“No... the baby is in distress,” she says and everyone in the room knows that shit is about to hit the fan.
Jessica pushes herself backward and strolls to the door on her stool in a very cool way, opens the door and shouts for James.
“I need to operate, the baby is tangled in the cord, James. She refuses to push...I... we need to bring her to the table now. There’s only a small window before the baby starts having respiratory problems.”
When Avery heard she jerked up so hard I thought she’dl land on her feet. I had to push on her shoulder to put her back on the table.
“No operation! James, no! I told you from the start, I won’t do it.”
Jessica shakes her head and takes a deep breath. She’s trying to remain calm, but I can recognize annoyance when I see it. James puts his head through the door and Jessica comes to the table to look Avery in the eyes.
“Avery, look, James can’t make the decision for you, but really, there is no decision here. At this rate, the baby could easily be strangled with the umbilical cord.” My skin explodes into goosebumps.
“No, I don’t want a huge scar on my abdomen.”
What the fuck? Everybody in the room, James included, stops on the spot. We’re all more frozen than the ice in the cup I hold in my hand.
James is the first to snap out of it, and he walks to us making Jessica jump.
“Fuck, Sullivan, you can’t be in here! This is a sterile room, God damn it!” But he doesn’t pay her any attention. He comes and takes his wife’s hand in his.
“Baby, you’re not judging right because of the pain. Look at me. You need to have the c-section and fast, otherwise, our baby could die. We don’t have an option.”
“James, I don’t want to be mutilated.”
“You won’t! And I’ll love you no matter what.”
“My body will be ruined.”
I’ve heard the stories, and I’ve heard Zach’s tone when he talks about her, but holy crap she is a crazy as hell. What are we still doing here? Someone should call the OR.
“Avery, Jesus! You putting both your lives in danger!” He was shaking with anger and worry and that made her keep her lips shut and stop being a brat.
“Ok...I... I’ll do it.”
Jessica clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention.
“Ok, people call the OR, tell them we’re coming up. Wendy is waiting for our cue. London, go and page her. Also, I won’t be needing you up there, so you’re free to go if Ford needs you.”
He and his needs can go and rot in hell. My job here is done and I’m going home. After checking everything Jessica needed, I took advantage of Zach having his plate full with the birth of his best friend’s first child and slipped out like a ghost.
I don’t know how I’ll ever come back here. I don’t even know if I want to.
...So I don’t have a job I love, I don’t have a place back home, I don’t have Zach.
Somehow, today everyone gained something and I’m the only loser.
Two big grey-ish eyes search my face, and I know she’s only been in the world for fifty-seven minutes but I feel judge by her intense gaze. Yes, you heard me right,