He delved his fingers into my hair and tipped my head back to look at him. “I’m trying to be gentle with you right now, Delaney. I know I shouldn’t have dragged you from that restaurant like I did, but to hear you say you think I hate you because of the miscarriage was too much for me. Hate is the furthest thing I feel for you.”
“Then what is it that you feel?” I whispered.
“Love, Del. I fucking love you. I may not have fallen in love with you that first night, but I knew the second you told me you were pregnant, you were different. Different than any woman I had ever met.”
“Jay, you can’t. I mean…” How in the heck could he say he loved me?
“You wanna know how I love you? I love you because the past twenty-seven years of my life, I have been waiting for something. I was searching for the thing that was going to make me grow up and realize there was something more in this world than me.” He shook his head. “I know we haven’t known each other that long. I know everyone in the world would think I’m crazy for falling in love after three weeks of knowing you, but I know what I feel. I know this past week where you were pulling away and not talking to me was complete torture. I knew without you, living in this world wasn’t worth it. I knew that if I let you push me away, I wouldn’t have anything to live for anymore.”
His words surrounded me. Filling and annihilating every doubt, fear, and uncertainty I had about being with him. “I wanted that baby, Jay, but more than anything, I wanted you. I wanted you to be there for not only the baby, but for me too. And now that the baby is gone I was terrified you wouldn’t want me anymore.”
The words that were beating around in my head were spoken, and I couldn’t take them back. What if I had just told him something he hadn’t thought of before. What if he realized he didn’t have to stay with me? What if he—
My thoughts were cutoff and severed by the brute, hungry kiss Jay pressed against my lips. His lips molded to mine, making me yield to his touch.
“I want you, Del. I want you more than my next breath,” he whispered against my lips.
“I love you. I fell in love with you when you didn’t even know my name.” That first night, he had claimed me. The next day, I was his and he didn’t even know it.
“But I know it now, Delaney. It’s the only name I ever want to know.”
I pressed my lips against his and waited half a second before he took over the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his hand went to my hips. He lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around him. “Bedroom,” I gasped. It had been too long since I had felt Jay against me.
He stalked up the stairs, my arms roaming over his back, and I pressed kisses all over his face. “I missed you so much but I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“I was always there, Del. I wasn’t going to go anywhere.” He made it to the top of the steps and kicked open the third door. He tossed me on the bed, and I bounced up into the air. “You may have been driving me crazy, but I wasn’t going to go anywhere.”
“You were going to Colorado,” I pointed out.
He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. “I was until Roc pulled me into his office and basically told me to man up.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I have to say, that was the weirdest conversation I have ever had.”
“Seriously?” Why the heck did Roc care about Jay and me? “I didn’t know the two of you were that close.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t know we were either, but I guess he felt like we were similar. He told me about his wife and always being away and not talking to her. He told me I shouldn’t make the same mistakes that he did,” he explained.
“So he forced you to call me?” I laughed.
“No…well, sort of. He said if I called you and you told me to leave, I was going to Colorado, but if you said you wanted to talk or wanted me to stay, then I wasn’t going.”
“I had a choice?” This whole day was sort of a blur because I was so worried about meeting with Jay, but I’m pretty sure Jay sort of said we were talking.
His hands went to the button of his jeans. “You always have a choice with me, Del.” He popped open the button and tugged down the zipper. “Like right now, it’s your choice to take off your own clothes or have me do it.” He pulled his pants over his hips and let them drop to his feet.
I sat up, tugged my shirt over my head, and tossed it on the floor. “You’re going to have to help with my skirt.” He really didn’t need to, but I already missed his hands on me.
I unhooked the clasp in the back, and Jay grabbed the hem. “You know, I think I might have you keep this on sometimes.”
My hips lifted, and I rolled my eyes. “Not today, boy toy. Pull,” I ordered.
He yanked the fabric down my legs and then his hands were on my underwear. “You sure you’re okay with this? I don’t want to hurt you or anything.”
I nodded and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I promise. I’m fine.” Mave had examined me yesterday to make sure I was healing well. She had said I was free to resume normal activities.
He pulled my panties off and tossed them over his shoulder.
“You forgot something.” I pointed to his underwear. “Those need to come off.”
He pulled them off and planted a knee on the bed. He climbed on top, pushing me onto my back, and caged me in with his arms. “I’ve missed you, Del,” he whispered.
“I missed you, too.”
Our hands roamed over each other bodies. Trying to touch and feel everything at once. Jay entered me slowly—careful and gentle.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Del,” he said between clenched teeth.
I reached up and brushed my fingers down his cheek. “You won’t,” I whispered. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. “Do it, Jay. Make love to me.”
He pressed a hungry kiss to my lips. Everything he felt for me was poured into that kiss. He sunk into me, my body rejoicing at the fact that Jay was back.
I had missed this man more than I knew I was capable of.
While I was Jay’s breath, he was my home.
With Jay, I knew I would forever be safe.
*
Chapter Thirty-One
Jay
“What is that noise?”
I lifted my head from my pillow and cracked open one eye. “I don’t know what the hell that is.”
“Oh, shit,” Delaney yelped. “That’s my phone.” She sprung out of bed and dove on the floor. “I was supposed to call my mom if I wasn't coming home.”
“Twenty-seven and she’s still has to let her mama know where she is,” I chuckled.
She found the phone and flipped me off. “Mama?” she said.
Delaney was standing naked in my room talking on the phone to her mom. This was a situation I never thought I would be in.
“Uh, I’m with Jay. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I lost track of time and then fell asleep.”
“Right, lost track of time,” I mumbled. More like we were too busy making up for a week of not having sex.
“Yes, I actually slept, Mama.”