One
“Will you stay after the show?”
“I don’t know. Is there a reason you’re asking?”
“You know there is.”
Dean couldn’t stop running the conversation through his mind. Did he know why Xavier had asked him to stay after today’s show? That was a loaded question, even for himself. Dean had met Xavier Nilsson months earlier when Dean’s older brother Brett had been in an accident. Until then, Dean hadn’t known Brett had a world renowned celebrity chef slash famous actor slash Sweden’s most beautiful man temporarily living under his roof. It turned out Xavier was Brett’s neighbor and his house had been under renovation until last week. Dean hadn’t known Brett spoke to any of his neighbors, much less moved one in. He thought Brett was too busy to talk to anyone… including Dean. Not that it mattered now. Xavier had moved back home last week and was now back to filming his nude cooking show in his own kitchen.
That was truly unfortunate, since once Dean learned Xavier had been staying with Brett, he hadn’t been able to stay away. He had never visited his brother so much in his adult life. Honestly, he was more than a little surprised Brett hadn’t called him on it yet. Goddamn, though, Xavier was beautiful. Platinum hair and gray eyes. He had an accent that made Dean want to taste the tanginess of it. Xavier never wore clothes. That definitely made him harder to ignore. Even on his show, Cuisinier Unveiled, Xavier cooked while wearing nothing but an apron. He continuously flashed the camera his bare ass, keeping the ratings high. Dean would know. Since he had met Xavier, he hadn’t stopped watching the show. This was his first time seeing it live, though. The only reason Dean had been invited to today’s taping was Brett’s man Roman was cohosting and had used the opportunity to propose. It had been sweet. There had been tears and such.
Roman’s proposal was the only sweet thing about the day. Every other second had been nothing but Dean and Xavier exchanging heated glances every chance they could. That brought him back to his original thought. Did he know why Xavier asked him to stay after the show? It was true that Xavier constantly made veiled sexual advances. Dean had never taken them to heart. He had to be that way. Dean couldn’t let himself entertain the idea Xavier actually wanted him. Dean was the younger brother of a celebrity YouTube producer. That was it. Dean was not special in any way. And still, his amazing brother had given up so much for him. It was important that Dean stay contained and disciplined. Dean needed to be worthy of his brother’s sacrifices. He needed not to need anything else. That was the only way he could make up for taking away Brett’s family.
“You stayed.”
Dean glanced around. Everyone else was gone. Goddamn it. He had stayed. “You asked me to, but didn’t tell me why. I suppose curiosity killed the cat.”
Xavier’s gray eyes flashed with humor. He motioned toward the meal they had created on the show. “Someone needs to eat all this food, since everyone else ran away. Will you join me?”
That was the last offer Dean expected. He didn’t think there was any way he could say no without sounding rude. “Oh. Yeah. I guess.”
A teasing smile touched Xavier’s lips. “Which is it? Yeah or you guess?”
Dean took a breath before he said anything he couldn’t take back. “Yes, I’ll join you.”
The triumph in Xavier’s smile almost made Dean run for his life. Then, Xavier turned around, flashing his bare ass again as he grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses. “You can’t have Cavatelli and Mussels without white wine.”
Dean snagged a stool at the kitchen island where all the food was displayed and sat. “I wouldn’t know. This is my first time trying this. I don’t eat a lot of shellfish.”
Xavier kept his gaze locked on his task of pouring a glass of wine for Dean. “Is that because you don’t like shellfish or because you don’t know how to cook it properly?”
Dean shrugged. “I guess I’m a bit simplistic. It’s just me, so there’s no need to get fancy and cook a huge meal. In fact, I’m guilty of eating super unhealthy because it’s just easier. It seems crazy to cook for only me.”
After passing the glass Dean’s way, Xavier fixed him a plate. “This is my job, so it’s like a free pass to be wasteful. Which reminds me, I don’t think I’ve heard what you do.”
“I’m a tattoo artist,” Dean said, accepting the plate.
Laughter filled Xavier’s eyes, making them twice as gorgeous. “That explains all the ink on your hands. Did you do those yourself?”
Dean glanced at the clocks tattooed on the backs of his hands and the word “time” that was inked across his knuckles. “Yeah. I get bored sometimes.”
“And you have time on your hands,” Xavier said with a laugh, proving he understood the humor behind the designs.
Dean chuckled. “Yeah. They’re a solid opening for a bad joke whenever anyone asks me for a favor.”
“You don’t laugh enough,” Xavier said, jumping topics and taking Dean’s breath. “It’s a nice sound.”
To hide his discomfort, Dean took a bite of his food. Flavor exploded across his tongue. Dean hadn’t known what to expect, but it was delicious. “Wow. This is amazing.”
Xavier sipped his wine while watching Dean eat. There was so much heat in his eyes, Dean felt a bit subconscious. It didn’t help Xavier wasn’t eating. He simply watched Dean’s every move with an intensity that had the hair standing on the back of Dean’s neck.
Xavier set his glass aside. “May I ask you a question without you running for the hills?”
Dean’s brow furrowed. “Why would you expect me to run? Do I strike you as skittish?”
“Not skittish. More mulish, I suppose. You don’t like me, so I worry if I ask a question you consider untoward, you might wash your hands of me.”
Dean pushed his plate aside and polished off his wine. This conversation had taken a turn and needed his full attention. “It’s not that I don’t like you. I guess I just don’t think we have much in common and I think of you as being more my brother’s friend than mine. That doesn’t mean I don’t like you.”
“Good.” Xavier drained his glass. His stare transformed, making Dean’s heart beat a little faster. “Have you ever kissed a man?”
“I’m sorry. What?”
Xavier motioned at Dean’s body in general. “You are very much a man’s man, which lends itself to a general vibe that you’re straight, but I don’t think you are completely set on women. So, have you ever kissed another man or not?”
Dean blinked several times, trying to wrap his mind around Xavier’s claims. He wasn’t used to people being so blunt. Dean also couldn’t decide if he was meant to be insulted or not. “Um. No.”
“But you’ve considered it, right?”
“You’re very straightforward with your questions.”
Xavier pulled a face like Dean confused him. “Why wouldn’t I be? Prudishness is a very American trait. I’ve lived here a long time and still haven’t adjusted to that aspect of society. Like clothes, for example. I’m in the comfort of my home. Why should I dress? Everyone is always so covered at the beach. Why? It’s hot. I don’t understand why everyone is so ashamed of their bodies. It’s just skin. As to sexuality, so many people here think it’s one way or the other. Either you’re straight or gay. That’s ignorant. Life has so many fun shades. Why do Americans shy away from their desires? It’s baffling.”