“I already know why you—”
“Please, let me finish,” he interrupted.
I let out an exasperated breath.
“When Violet found out about your pregnancy, she threatened to make it so I never saw Talia and Xavier again unless I abandoned you and relinquished my rights as a father to Sunny. I felt like I had to make a choice between hurting the children I knew, or the one I’d never met. My decision was a knee-jerk reaction out of fear. I’m ashamed of what I did to you. And if I have to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I will.”
I’d known Violet was against the kids finding out about Sunny but never realized she’d actually used the children to threaten Charles. Still, whether that knowledge would change things remained to be seen. “I don’t know what to say. I really don’t. I’ve completely written you off as a part of my life or Sunny’s life.”
“And I deserve every bit of that.” He paused a moment. “I told Talia and Xavier about Sunny.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“It was against Violet’s wishes, but I’m done being blackmailed.”
“You always said you thought they were too young to understand.”
“They are. But I came to the conclusion that the longer I kept it from them, the more of a shock it would be, and the less time they would have with their sister.”
Sister? I couldn’t believe he was using that term. “You do realize you’re not on her birth certificate, so technically whether she’s their sister is debatable.”
He stared at me. “She’s their flesh and blood, Carys. I have no right to keep her from them.”
“What did you say to them?”
“I told them the truth, that when Mommy and Daddy were apart, I fell in love with a beautiful woman and we made a baby together. I showed them the one photo of Sunny I have, one Simone posted on social media. And I told them about her, about what Down syndrome is, about the mistakes I made in handling everything. And I apologized to them, just as I’m apologizing to you right now.”
My mind raced. “This is too much.”
“I know it is. But I had to tell you. I’m done being a disappointment to you and to myself. I needed to do what was right. My name may not be on her birth certificate, but I am her father, Carys. I will always be her father.”
I felt sick. He didn’t deserve a second chance, but Sunny had no other father figure in her life. Her biological father now wanted that role. I didn’t want to make a decision she’d be upset about later.
“So what are you expecting from me?” I asked.
“It doesn’t have to go from zero to a hundred. I just want you to meet me from time to time. Once a month, maybe, to start. I want her to know me, even if she thinks I’m just a friend. Eventually, I want my kids to meet her. I know I have a lot of work to do to earn your trust. And I plan to do whatever it takes.”
CHAPTER 23
Carys
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN
Over the next six weeks or so, Charles proved he hadn’t been kidding when he’d vowed to earn my trust back. I appreciated that he was letting me call the shots on his reentrance into my life, though.
In addition to abiding by a visitation schedule, he’d also begun depositing money more regularly in my bank account. I’d never refused his occasional offerings, but now that he wasn’t doing everything behind Violet’s back, he’d set up a direct deposit each month. I wasn’t going to complain. Sunny deserved his support.
We’d agreed on a twice-a-month visitation schedule for starters. I gave him a few hours on Saturdays. We’d take Sunny out, and she was slowly taking to him, offering occasional smiles and responses to his endless efforts to make her laugh. It was noticeably different than her immediate attachment to Deacon had been, though.
Charles hadn’t insisted on using the term dad around her, and I was grateful. He referred to himself as Charles, and it was my strong opinion that for the foreseeable future, things should remain that way,
One chilly but sunny Saturday in January, Charles and I took Sunny to a toy store and then to get a treat. It was too cold for ice cream, but Sunny had seen the sign for the shop with the giant ice cream cone flag and wouldn’t stop pointing to it.
After, we ended up in Bryant Park, and I spotted Deacon’s friend Adrian at a table with a woman. We were about to walk past them. I wanted to turn around and go the other direction, but I didn’t want to explain anything to Charles, so I forced myself to keep moving. I had no idea if Adrian would even look up or recognize me.
But sure enough, just as we moved past him, his eyes met mine. He squinted into the sun, holding his hand to his forehead like a visor. “Carys?”
I feigned surprise and smiled. “Hey!”
“Not sure if you recognize me. I know we only met once. I’m Deacon’s friend Adrian?” He smiled.
“Of course, I recognize you. How have you been?”
“I’ve been good.” He turned to Charles. “And you are?”
“I’m Charles.” He held out his hand. “Sunny’s father.”
As they shook, shock registered on Adrian’s face. I had an urge to explain the situation, but why? What did it matter if he drew the wrong conclusion about this? I didn’t owe him—nor Deacon—any explanation.
Adrian bent to look down at Sunny in her stroller. “This must be the famous Sunny.”
Sunny took to Adrian right away, flashing an amused smile as she devoured her ice cream cone. My heart raced as I wondered whether he’d bring up his MIA friend.
Instead, Adrian simply nodded once and said, “Well, it was nice to see you again.”
“You, too,” I said.
Relief flooded through me. Adrian likely knew the deal. There was no reason to bring up what happened. Had a part of me wanted to ask him how Deacon was doing? Yes. But ultimately, I wasn’t prepared for the answer. I didn’t want to hear that he was dating again or had moved on in any way. That would’ve been too damn painful.
“Who was that?” Charles asked as we walked away. “You seemed tense just now.”
I blew out a breath. “He’s a friend of my former boyfriend.”
“The guy I met at your place? That boyfriend?”
“Yeah. The anti-boyfriend. Deacon,” I said bitterly. “He was my only relationship.”
“I’ve asked you more than once what happened, and you never answer me. I suppose I’ll get the same response if I pry now?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Okay. Fair enough.” He placed his hand on my back. “One of these days I’ll get you to tell me.”
I shook my head. Normally, I could keep thoughts of Deacon at bay during the day. But Adrian had brought everything to the forefront.
“So I never mentioned what happened when I told Violet I’d spoken to the kids about Sunny,” Charles said.
Not exactly a great change of subject.
“How did she take it?”
“Not well, but she didn’t do anything drastic. She’s not happy with me, but that’s pretty normal.” He shrugged. “Now that the kids know, they’re insistent on meeting Sunny. They told Violet they want to see their sister soon. And she didn’t exactly refuse.”