I raised my eyebrow. “I’m surprised to be getting such encouragement from the enemy.”
He chuckled. “The first time I met you, I didn’t like you. You pushed me away and wouldn’t let me see my daughter. But here’s the thing, I respected the hell out of you for it. You were protecting Sunny that night—something I wasn’t able to do at the time. That should’ve been my job as her father, not yours. It takes a strong man to be a good father to his own kids, but it takes a special kind of man to be a father to someone else’s.” He stopped walking to look me in the eyes. “If you want Carys, if you want a life with her and Sunny, then prove it. Do whatever it takes, and don’t fuck up again.”
“I don’t plan to.” This guy really surprised me. Maybe I didn’t hate him so much after all.
Charles nodded. “I’d rather see her with someone I know is a decent person than some asshole from the Internet. But just know that I’ll be around, too. I’m Sunny’s father. And I’m earning my way back in. I’d be willing to share that role if you earn the right to it, too.”
“Understood.”
I would’ve never imagined that Carys’s deadbeat ex could inspire a new determination in me to stay the course, to fight for what I wanted. But maybe the greatest lessons come from those who’ve been there, who’ve lost things they can never get back.
Later that afternoon, when I’d gone back to my apartment, I noticed a bright pink postcard slipped under my door. There was an elephant on the front and it read Sunny Turns 2.
My chest constricted. Her birthday party would be held at the YMCA in a couple of weeks.
Two. Where did the time go?
This invitation meant everything. Carys wanted me there, despite her reservations. This elephant meant there was still hope.
* * *
The gym at the YMCA was all decked out in pink. A bouncy house in the shape of a castle had been set up, along with a ball pit and obstacle course made out of soft objects.
Charles sat with his teenage son in a corner of the gym. Carys’s friend Simone, whom I’d only met once, was jumping with a girl I assumed was Charles’s daughter, based on the resemblance.
Also in the mix were several toddlers and their parents, people I figured Carys knew from her Mommy and Me class.
Carys stood next to the refreshment table with an older woman. She hadn’t seen me yet. Pink and gray balloons surrounded her. The cake on the table had a big elephant on it—and of course there was me: the biggest elephant in the room, the man who’d broken Carys’s heart. Many of the people here likely knew the story and would be sizing me up today.
I placed the giant bag containing Sunny’s gift on a table with the other presents.
Carys finally noticed me and waved for me to come over.
“Deacon, this is my boss, Cynthia.”
Ah. I should’ve known.
“Cynthia… This is my friend Deacon.”
Friend. Ouch.
Cynthia was probably in her late fifties. She had her brown hair up in a twist and exuded elegance, just how I might picture someone who ran a ballet.
I extended my hand. “Cynthia, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“You, as well.” She smiled, not seeming to give off any funny signals; that made me think Carys had never talked about me with her.
Sensing a vibe, perhaps, Cynthia excused herself under the guise of wanting some punch, leaving Carys and me alone.
“I’m glad you could make it,” she said.
“Wild horses couldn’t have kept me away. Or wild elephants.” I smiled.
“You look nice,” she said, touching my arm as her cheeks turned pink.
I was unsure of a lot of things when it came to Carys lately, but I knew I still had an effect on her physically. But instead of feeling smug about that, it made me sad and frustrated, because I wanted her so badly. I always told myself I would know when the time was right to make a move. It hadn’t come yet.
“This was a really great idea—to have the party here,” I said.
“Well, I knew the apartment wasn’t an option, and I wanted it somewhere she could have a good time.”
“Mission accomplished.” My eyes wandered over to Sunny, swimming around in the ball pit. “Look at that face.”
Carys smiled over at her daughter, and I took that moment to stare at her gorgeous profile.
“My baby is so happy around other kids. And they’re all too young to notice or care that she looks different. It’s a beautiful age.”
I shook my head. “She was six months old when I met her. Where the hell did a year and a half go?” Of course, that reminded me I’d been gone for four months of that time. I swallowed. “Can I help you with anything?”
“No. This place is great. They have everything covered. They bring in the pizza and cake and clean everything up.”
“Well, if you need help packing those gifts into the car, I’m your man. I’ll be here till the end.” My eyes seared into hers. I wasn’t just referring to today.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Carys wore a pink dress with thin straps and a flared skirt. The skin on her neck was slightly blotchy. I knew that happened when she was nervous.
“You look beautiful in pink. Well, you look beautiful in everything. So fucking beautiful.”
She moved her hair behind her ear. “Thank you.”
Perhaps my gaze lingered a little too long, because she excused herself to go talk to one of the other parents.
I spent the remainder of the afternoon watching Sunny having a blast and stealing glances at Carys. I wondered how this day would have been different if I hadn’t left. Carys might have been leaning against my chest as I wrapped my arms around her and watched Sunny play. Sunny might have been closer to me than she was to Charles. I reminded myself that I couldn’t be here for them the way I was now if I hadn’t freaked out, hadn’t gone home, hadn’t made peace with my demons. I knew now that I would never hurt them again.
When Sunny opened her presents, I waited anxiously for her to get to mine.
Eventually, Carys handed her the large bag I’d brought and opened the card. “It’s from Deacon, Sunny. What is it? Let’s see!” she said.
Sunny seemed more mesmerized by the pink tissue paper than anything else.
Carys helped Sunny remove a furry, gray elephant from the bag. I’d figured if she liked elephants, I couldn’t go wrong with a big, stuffed one.
“If you push on the chest, it plays a song,” I said.
Carys pressed her hand to the center of the elephant, and her mouth dropped open when the song began: “How Deep is Your Love” by the Bee Gees. I had no clue if Sunny would even recognize it.
It was a pleasant surprise when Sunny hugged the elephant to her and flashed a huge smile—the biggest one I’d contributed to since I’d been back. Her eyes turned to slits as the beautiful grin spread even wider across her face. Carys had admitted that she’d stopped playing the Bee Gees album for Sunny after I left, so I knew she hadn’t heard that song in a long time. Whether she remembered it from before or not, she was sure as hell connecting to it now. Maybe one day she’d connect to me again, too.
Charles and his kids presented their gift next: a gigantic stack of children’s books. Charles began reading off the titles, one of which was Monkey Bandit and the Naughty Ball.