Was he feeling this? Would he finally wake up?
“Hayden?” I whispered.
Nothing. There was no reaction.
I suppressed my hurt. This would have to be enough. I had to believe he’d felt my kiss.
“I love you so much, Hayden.”
The door opened, and Blake and Masen came inside. They were the only ones beside Carmen and me who were allowed to visit him in the ICU, thanks to Carmen pulling some strings.
“Hey, Sarah,” they greeted me. Even now, I couldn’t get used to the new way they spoke to me.
They were still bullies, and they treated others however they wanted, but they didn’t mock me anymore. In fact, they made sure everyone knew they would personally deal with them if they bullied me, and it was difficult to wrap my head around the change in their behavior. I didn’t know why, but they finally accepted me as the girl Hayden loved.
“Hey,” I said and stood up. I was going to go for a walk to clear my mind.
“Is there any change?” Blake asked. He stopped next to Hayden and fist bumped his shoulder. “Hey, buddy. You’re still looking as good as ever. I’m sure the nurses are all crazy about you.” He smirked at me.
I didn’t smile. “Everything’s pretty much the same. I’m going outside now. See you later.” Leaning in, I kissed Hayden’s forehead. “I’ll be back soon,” I whispered to him.
I snatched my bag and rushed outside. If I hadn’t left, I would’ve burst into tears, and I didn’t want anyone to see that. I moved through the endless hallways aimlessly, sick and tired of the same depressive environment I’d been seeing day after day. My heart was beating too fast, and it was impossible to even my erratic breathing.
Hayden had to wake up. He had to. He was strong, and he had our support. It was just a matter of time until this nightmare was over.
It was just a matter of time...
Chapter 2
“OH GOSH, I’M LATE!” I exclaimed and sped toward the theater.
“Hey, relax. We’re nearby anyway,” Kayden tried to reassure me.
“Yeah, but I was late the last few times. Christine is going to kill me!”
“I hope she will. There would be one less moron in the world.” Hayden’s harsh voice was like a slice of a knife to my fragile heart. It was ridiculously easy for him to send me spiraling into darkness.
My anxiety proliferated. I started crossing the street, typing a text for Christine to tell her I would be there in a few minutes, when a car horn ripped through the night air. I knew what I was going to see next. My chest filled with horror.
Two bright flashes of light blinded me before the car swerved to the side, heading for Hayden. Kayden moved to shield him, but he wasn’t quick enough, and they got both hit and crashed to the ground.
The sight put shackles of pain on my heart and mind, and my world crumbled. They didn’t move, both lying in a pool of their blood. I approached them in daze of desperation, noticing how the night changed into the day, and the scene transformed into a more recent one.
My gaze flickered between them before it settled on Kayden, whose limbs were spread at odd angles. His empty eyes drowned me in despair, and I burst into tears, dropping to my knees. I grabbed his arm to shake him and called his name repeatedly, but it was useless. I saw this moment many times, but it was always the same. Kayden would never come back. He was dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Never coming back...
“You killed him,” Hayden accused me, and I whipped my head at him, quivering in wrenching tears. He now stood right next to me, with the crimson blood surrounding the scar on his face. His cold eyes that were so similar yet so different than Kayden’s warm ones bore into me, reminding me I had done this. “This is all your fault.”
“I’m sorry,” I cried out. I clutched my chest and bent over when fresh pain hit me. “I’m so sorry, Hayden. It was just a mistake... I was careless.”
“It was a stupid mistake! We got into an accident because you didn’t pay attention, and now he’s dead! I’ll hate you forever!”
I jumped to my feet. “Fine! Then I’ll hate you too because you did the same thing! You were blaming me all this time, but you made the same mistake. How could you be so careless?! You went into the street without even looking!” I let out a wail, unable to control myself anymore.
Everything was silent. All the people around us were frozen in time and space, reminding me of my mistakes and regrets.
“Now I don’t know if you’re ever going to wake up again...” My voice broke, and I reached out to him, but he began fading away.
“And now you’re going to lose me too. I’m not coming back.”
NO. No, no, no.
Don’t leave me!
“NO!” I rushed to him, but he was already gone, leaving devastation in his wake. My blood ran cold as I looked back at Kayden...
Only he wasn’t Kayden anymore. He was Hayden, who lay unconscious on the street in front of the hospital. A huge wound opened in me, and there was nothing I could do about it...
I fell to my knees and grasped his shoulders. “Please, wake up. Wake up, Hayden.”
Please, wake up.
Wake up...
I snapped my eyes open. I was panting and covered in sweat. I tried to erase the horrible scene from my mind as I blinked to clear my vision, relieved that it was just a nightmare. It wasn’t real.
It wasn’t real.
I got out of my bed when my pulse got back to normal, reminding myself that Hayden was going to be all right. He was going to wake up any moment. I checked my phone for any messages or calls from Carmen, but there were none. She was in the hospital all the time these days, and she’d promised me she would notify me if there were any changes. I moved quickly as I got ready for school, impatient to get out of here.
Everything had changed in such a short period of time. I didn’t consider this house my home anymore, and the room that had been my only sanctuary now felt like a confinement. It served as a reminder that I was stuck in this house with my mother, and I was counting the months until I could get out of here and live my life the way I wanted, starting with college.
I took off my pajama top and looked routinely at the bullet graze wound on my right upper arm in the mirror. It didn’t hurt anymore and was healing quite nicely, so there wouldn’t be much scarring, much to my relief. The memories of Brad were scarring enough. Satisfied, I dressed and went downstairs.
I ran into Lydia, Patricia’s caregiver, on my way to the kitchen. We hired her soon after Patricia got out of the hospital because she had casts on both legs and needed assistance. “Good morning,” I said.
“Good morning, Sarah.” She gave me a beaming smile, but I found no strength to return it.
She was a charming lady in her fifties who always smiled, so I wondered how she endured my mother’s moodiness. Patricia wasn’t exactly happy-go-lucky. She was more surly than usual these last few days, mostly because she couldn’t have any alcohol. I didn’t hang around her. I wanted to avoid her as much as possible, especially after how she treated me during and after Brad’s kidnapping.
The kidnapping was the final straw, and I’d stopped trying to make things right between us. She showed she didn’t respect me or care about me, and I had enough. I’d let her selfishness win too many times. I wasn’t going to let her ruin my life just because she was my mother. I had my own life to live, which didn’t include her anymore.