“How about you and your wife, Jonathan?” I asked him. I was still amazed that they had been married for more than fifty years before she passed away. “Did you have a lot of ups and downs?”
“All the time! That woman was stubborn as a mule. We fought a lot, but it was always worth it and we wouldn’t have had it any other way.” His face lit as he reminisced about the memories he shared with his wife.
“Jonathan is right,” Adelaine said, a downcast smile on her face. “It was the same between me and my late husband. We always quarreled, but the connection we shared was one of a kind. You see, all relationships consist of fights, adjustments, and heartbreaks, but all that matters is that you two trust, love, and respect each other. You need to be ready to compromise because you can’t expect to have a long-lasting relationship otherwise.”
“I noticed how that boy looked at you,” Jonathan told me after Adelaine made her move. “His emotions are raw and strong, and they aren’t something that can disappear overnight. So instead of worrying about your future with him, think what you can do to make the present moment count.”
I contemplated their words, remaining silent, but I was jolted out of it when my gaze fell on a familiar figure standing at the door. Mateo.
A sharp pain hit my chest. He entered the room and looked around for someone, presumably Jonathan. His curly hair was longer than the last time I saw him, reaching his shoulders, and his light brown eyes crinkled as he took in the festive atmosphere, paired with a small smile.
I whipped my head around. I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t ready to face him.
“Hey, Teo! Over here!” Mel called him, waving at him to get his attention.
Mortified of meeting his gaze, I stared at the chess board and told myself to keep it cool. I had to see him sooner or later, so avoiding him would only postpone the inevitable.
“This can be a good chance for you to talk with him,” Mel whispered to me.
“I don’t know, Mel,” I gritted out, hating feeling this cornered.
“At least apologize to him.” She stood up before I could answer her and bumped his shoulder with her fist when he stopped next to our table. “Happy New Year, Teo!”
Okay. You reap what you sow, Sarah. Mel was right. I couldn’t pretend I hadn’t said those hurtful words to him. I had to explain myself to him properly.
Blushing hard, I forced myself to look at him. His eyes were already on me, and his smile was gone, inviting my guilt back. He looked away from me and smiled at the others.
“Hi, everyone. Happy New Year.”
So that’s how it’s going to be. I dug my nails into my palms. I couldn’t really expect him to treat me any differently, now could I?
“Hello, Mateo. Happy New Year,” I told him quietly.
I thought he was going to ignore me, but he returned my gaze and nodded, unsmiling. From the corner of my eye, I saw Jonathan observing us, the wheels turning in his head as he put two and two together.
“Why don’t you take a seat, boy?” Jonathan asked him when Mateo remained standing. “We don’t bite.”
There were only two available chairs—one next to me and the other next to Adelaine—so it wasn’t difficult to figure out which chair he would pick. He sat down across from me, avoiding even looking in my direction.
“I’m surprised you remembered your grandfather,” Jonathan said when Adelaine made a move and captured his knight. “I heard you’re never home these days, so I thought I would have to wait until next year to see you again.”
Mateo grinned at Jonathan, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m here now, right? Better late than never.” He glanced at Adelaine. “I have to tell you, you deserve a medal for putting up with my grandpa,” he told her, and she giggled.
Jonathan glared at him, but the corner of his mouth twitched like he was suppressing a smile. “Respect your grandfather.”
“Duly noted. So how are you? Did you beat everyone here in chess already?”
I squirmed on my chair as Jonathan answered. I didn’t feel comfortable sitting here and listening to their conversation like everything was hunky dory. Mateo wasn’t okay, and something told me it had everything to do with me. He’d never been this stiff in front of Jonathan, giving rather short, resentful answers.
Wimping out, I excused myself on the pretext of checking if anyone needed me and left the table. I felt Mateo’s eyes following me, and I was unable to breathe, quickening my pace until I was out of the room and his sight.
Great, Sarah. You’re pathetic.
I busied myself for the next hour with work, until Mel found me in the hallway on the second floor.
“Really, Sar? You’re not going to say a word to him?” She gave me a sour look.
I shoved my hands into my jeans pockets. “I don’t know what to tell him, Mel. It’s so difficult, and it was embarrassing to sit there and listen to him talking—”
“You know what’s embarrassing?” she interrupted me, looking at me with disappointment. “This.” She motioned at me. “Running away like a little girl and sweeping all your problems under the rug.” She shook her head and placed her hands on her hips. “You owe him an apology. I’m sure he’d appreciate it more than you think.”
I looked away, pacing left and right. “I know, but you saw him, Mel. I’m not his favorite person at the moment, and I’m afraid he’s going to brush off my apology and—”
“You don’t know that, Sar. What if he does the opposite?” She ran her hand over her forehead. “Look. He’s going to leave any moment now, so you still have time to talk to him. Even if he doesn’t accept your apology, at least you tried. That counts.” She looked over my shoulder at someone behind me and groaned. “And now I’m going to help Mrs. Crawford because she doesn’t listen and walks all alone with her hip fracture. That woman will be the death of me.”
She left to help Mrs. Crawford, who walked down the hallway using a walker, and I wished I had even the half of her strength and bravery. She was right. I was a coward, and I had to woman up and apologize.
After a few minutes of deep breathing and pep talks, I managed to encourage myself enough not to let this opportunity slip away. I headed to the sitting room and almost collided with him on his way out as he zipped up his jacket. I stopped before I got plastered against him. He snapped his eyes from his zipper to me.
“Mateo,” I let out.
His face grew guarded, and he looked to the side. “Sarah. I didn’t see you. Sorry about that.” He was apologizing to me? I fisted my hands. I had to apologize right now.
He turned to leave, but I called his name again. Reluctantly, he faced me. “Yes?”
My face was terribly red, and my palms were sweaty, but I concentrated on letting the right words out. “There is no need for you to say sorry because it’s not your fault. In fact, I should apologize, not you.”
“Let me get this clear. You’re not apologizing for almost bumping into me?”
My heart pounded extremely fast. “That’s right. I’m apologizing for what I said when you came to see me in the hospital.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Why are you apologizing? You told me how you felt, so what’s there to apologize about now?”