Her head slanted before slowly shaking. “No. I mean, you had to have seen my car too, I guess.”
Everything tilted and raced as I looked toward the front of the house even though I couldn’t see through any of the windows from where I stood. Trying to figure out how I’d been so in my head, so blinded to everything in front of me.
“I, um . . .” Madison cleared her throat and lifted her head to meet my stare. “I got here about ten minutes before you did. I came straight from the airport. Well . . .” Her eyes quickly rolled. “Sort of. I got my car and went to the store so I could make dinner and bake a cake for your birthday tomorrow.” A defeated laugh tumbled from her as she rubbed at her forehead. Looking all kinds of embarrassed at the rambled confession. “I thought we could have dinner and talk. You know . . . about everything.”
Fear gripped at my heart.
Because Madison was struggling to maintain her composure and talking like she regretted ever considering doing any of that. And talking all of our shit out was what we needed to do if we were ever going to make it past this point.
“Then I saw the counter,” she said, voice hitching when she continued. “And the food in the fridge when I put the groceries up.” Her head bobbed quickly before shaking as her expression crumpled. “I went to let Isabel know I was here because I figured she could hear me. And I wasn’t sure I could handle whatever she might say if she came out, already talking to you before she realized it was me.” She gestured to my hand. “I found that. I read that letter in your hand.”
That grip on my heart turned lethal as I tried to think of every single thing Isabel had written. What Madison could’ve read and gathered from it.
I’d told Isabel I would come clean to Madison, and I intended to. But not like that.
“It answered nearly all the questions I’ve had.” Tears quickly slipped down her cheeks. “Your reaction to it answered the rest.”
“You don’t understand.”
“No, that’s just it,” she said quickly. “I do.” She pressed her trembling hands to her chest as a strangled breath left her. “I am somehow the naïve girlfriend and the other woman in this situation. And it feels sickening and heartbreaking, and worse than anything Rafael ever could’ve done to me.”
There was the final, crushing blow to my shattering heart. I faltered, my lungs frantically trying to work as panic and guilt gripped me tight. “Madison—”
“Hunter, I’m sorry,” she said over me as she backed away. Her voice nothing more than a whisper, but it had the impact of a scream. “I think—”
“Whatever you’re about to say, don’t. Let me explain.”
“We’ve made a mistake,” she continued. “I came in and ruined your life, and I’m sorry. I never meant to do that.”
“Madison, you are my life,” I shouted. “Don’t you understand that?”
She gestured to where Izzy’s letter had fallen to the floor. “You had a life with someone else, Hunter. If I would’ve known, I never would’ve gotten in the middle of it.”
“You were always in the middle of it,” I said firmly, my soul bleeding out as my fear of losing the woman in front of me consumed me in a way nothing else could. “You have been my entire world. My life. My future. Isabel knew that. There was never a time where you were not in the middle of us.”
Her head shook wildly. “I saw what she meant to you. I can see that losing her is killing you.”
“Losing you would kill me.”
“You’re in love with her,” she reasoned.
“I know that,” I shot back.
A soft cry tumbled from her lips. As if, even though she’d already known, my confirmation crushed another piece of her. “Then stop her, Hunter,” she said miserably as she pulled open the door and placed one foot outside. “Tell her not to go. Tell her you made a mistake.”
“A mistake would be not spending the rest of my life with you.”
Her head moved in wide shakes as I spoke. “You say that, but you don’t trust me. You can’t forgive me—and for good reason. We can’t even have an honest conversation with each other anymore!” she yelled, gesturing between us before wiping quickly at her cheeks. “We keep everything important from each other or sweep it under the rug. What kind of life is that supposed to be?”
“I’m telling you now.” I held my arms out, giving her all of me. “I fell in love with her while waiting for you. While knowing you would always be the one I was supposed to be with—even if you never came back. Losing her hurts. Losing my best friend hurts.”
“Then tell her you made a mistake!”
“You’re not—fuck,” I bit out, roughing my hands over my face. “The only mistake I’ve ever made with you is letting you go!”
“You didn’t have a choice,” she yelled back as she continued onto my porch and down the stairs. Starting across the drive for her SUV.
The sight of Madison walking away pulled me back thirteen years and made it feel like I was walking through quicksand as I followed after her. Had ice-cold panic gripping at my spine and working into my veins.
She whirled around, anguish covering her features. “Why couldn’t you ever see that I left for you? To protect you?”
“To protect—the hell? Why would you need to protect me from anything?”
Her body lurched and her head shook, everything about her looking like she was about to be physically sick.
When she turned away again, I reached for her. Refusing to lose this girl again. “Madison.”
“Because I had sex with Beau!”
I stopped. Slammed into a fucking wall of denial and rage and betrayal. “I’m sorry?” I said in a low, lethal tone.
A cry of anguish tore from Madison as she fell to a crouch and dropped her head into her hands. Her body shaking mercilessly.
I stood there, unable to move or even really think as I watched her break.
As everything I’d known fell apart in front of me.
I squeezed my arms tighter around Hunter’s neck and pressed a quick kiss to his mouth, a giggle slipping free when he dipped me down and caught me before I could hit the ground.
That was spinning.
The entire world was spinning.
Spinning from the spiked lemonades. Spinning from being wrapped up in Hunter.
His mouth pressed to my neck as he slowly lifted me back up, and my giggle pretty much turned into a super inappropriate moan in front of everyone.
But between the crackling of the bonfire and the too-loud music boom, boom, booming from the portable speakers, only Hunter heard what he was doing to me.
Besides, most of the other couples were in similar positions. Everyone else was clumped together, playing games and laughing loudly.
A bunch of us had somehow convinced our parents to let us come out to Adrianna’s lake house for part of our senior year spring break.
It’d been a hard no from my parents at first. They’d never been Adrianna’s biggest fans—saying she was too wild and a bad influence. But her older brother was going, which meant Beau and Savannah were too since they were good friends. Not to mention, Adrianna’s parents and two sets of her aunts and uncles would also be there. At that, my parents’ answer had turned into a reluctant okay.