Jonan watched her face for any signs of emotion, but it was shut tight. He wasn’t surprised. He knew what it was like living as an intuitive in a world that didn’t recognise your gifts. You learned to camouflage, to look normal even when you felt as though there would never be a space for you that fitted.
Jonan opened the car door. ‘I’m sorry, you’ll need to climb over to my side to get out.’
Beth said nothing, just scooted across the seat and climbed out into the road, adjusting her crumpled clothes.
Jonan felt the energy of the theatre on her. It made him shudder and he felt a dread settle in his chest. What exactly had Amelia done?
Jonan let them into the closed darkness of the Third Eye Spiritualist Shop. He ushered Beth up the stairs, taking comfort from her physical presence in his home.
She paused at the door.
‘It’s okay,’ he said, stopping a breath behind her. ‘I know the building is old, but we cleared it a long time ago. Everyone who had hung on here has moved on to better things. The building breathes peacefully now. Anything you feel is coming with us from the theatre. We will deal with that as soon as we get inside.’
Beth nodded, but said nothing. She pushed the door open and went in, letting the heavy door swing behind her. Jonan stood, frozen, on the stairs as the door closed in his face. She was pulling even further away and he had no idea how to get her back.
CHAPTER TEN
Beth
The room was warm. Beth felt it on her skin, felt the welcome burn of heat, heard the crackling of the fire. It did nothing to thaw the icy lump inside her.
She still heard the voices in her mind, felt Amelia’s laughter vibrating through her body and smelled the musty mouldiness of the theatre.
Her face became rigid as Jonan came into the room, her muscles like stone. She sat as though movement would crack her.
His eyes were full of concern. He knelt in front of her, taking her hand. Tingles raced around her wrist as he traced her skin with his thumb.
She pulled away so hard that he rocked back, staring at her. His eyes were wide, lips parted. He was trying to get under her skin. She would not allow it. He wanted to make her soften, to crack her heart open. She felt what they could be together. It was so tangible she could virtually touch the image, but he had shown her a glimpse of how much he could hurt her. It would not happen again.
Their potential sparked around them, abrasive against her raw nerves. She edged as far away from him as the small room would allow. She was at the edge of her endurance. There was so much more to this moment than she understood. She saw from his eyes that he grasped it, but he hadn’t told her anything. That was not a good sign.
Beth understood the paranormal. The ghosts at the theatre hadn’t frightened her, but something had got under her skin, crawling around, reaching for her heart, her mind. It was still there eating away at her, prodding relentlessly. She was in way over her head. Amelia had powers Beth hadn’t ever imagined. Jonan and Doriel had knowledge that soared above her own and Jonan was reeling her in. That terrified her.
‘How was the performance?’ Doriel said.
Her voice sounded distant, as though Beth were listening through water.
Doriel held her gaze. She perched on the arm of Beth’s chair, her head tilted. Watching Beth’s movements, she allowed her eyes to flicker to the space around Beth’s body.
‘Stop reading me.’ Beth pulled her arms tight around her chest. ‘If there’s something you want to know, ask.’
Doriel reached out to touch her arm.
Beth jerked it away. The woman pulled back, stood up, and then moved to the sofa. ‘What happened to you, my love?’
Beth said nothing.
‘Amelia happened.’ Jonan’s voice was rough, thick. His eyes were bloodshot, but he made no attempt to hide it. He was staring at Beth as though she might disappear.
Beth felt the fear rise. She closed her eyes for a moment, imagining her own energy pushing his back, feeling the space around her release.
He was still watching her. His lips were parted. His face had paled. He sat on the edge of the sofa, jaw clenched, hands gripping the seat so tight his knuckles turned white.
‘What did she do?’ Doriel said, moving up the sofa to sit next to Jonan. She put a hand on his back.
Beth felt a stab of jealousy, but pushed it away. She wanted nothing to do with these people. They were trying to lure her in, take her autonomy. They were a threat. Her attraction to Jonan was just another of their tricks.
Jonan’s shoulders relaxed a little from Doriel’s touch.
Beth gritted her teeth. Her body sagged under the conflict of raging emotions. She wanted to yank Jonan away from Doriel and keep him for herself. And she wanted to run as far from him as she could. The confusion sent her mind reeling and the room drifted even further away.
Some of Jonan’s words seeped through her barriers. She knew he was telling Doriel what happened at the theatre. She tried to shut his voice out, to stop it triggering the cold, shadowy memories. She put her hands over her ears, instead watching his aura as it flickered around him. The normal, smooth lines had turned jagged, fluctuating so fast she felt even more dizzy.
She closed her eyes, focusing on the feel of the chair underneath and behind her, on her hands squeezed over her ears, her eyes tight shut blocking out the room.
She was alone in her head.
Her thoughts began to drift, but a part of her mind stayed detached, noticing the ideas that flowed as though from outside.
And you thought he didn’t care. The words formed in her mind. She nearly jerked fully awake, but held on to the hazy consciousness, wanting to prolong the moment. The air filled with the scent of lavender.
He told me he didn’t care, she thought back and had a sense that the owner of the voice was smiling.
Does he look as though he doesn’t care? Do people get that upset if they’re not attached? He is as scared as you are.
That’s ridiculous, she thought and sensed another smile. Who are you, anyway?
Salu, the voice breathed into her mind. I am your brother. You know this already.
A door slammed. She stirred, opened her eyes a crack. Doriel was gone.
‘Beth?’ Jonan’s voice was low, close by. He was kneeling on the floor in front of her, hands reaching towards her, hesitating. His long blond hair was pushed back from his face, but a stray tendril hung over his eyes. His pale skin looked blanched, but he was still beautiful. Somehow the dark smudges under his eyes, the worry lines in his forehead, only increased his pull as he focused his attention entirely on her.
Could the voice have been right?
Her heart pounded. Her hands itched to touch his as her body swayed towards him. His eyes warmed as he registered her movement. For a moment she remembered she was supposed to be keeping her distance, but somehow that didn’t seem important right now. His energy was radiating out to thaw the ice inside her. She wanted so desperately to feel normal, as though she fitted somewhere, not in camouflage, but in her full and flamboyant weirdness.
Jonan’s hand came close to her face, but he stopped, unsure.
Her heart pounded. The voice echoed in her mind. Does he look like he doesn’t care? She nodded.
He moved slowly, until his hand lay against her cheek. Her frozen skin warmed at the touch. She leaned into him. A tingling energy came from his palm. It was mesmerising, the way it prickled over her skin like the gentlest lightning. It warmed her, thawing the ice inside her even further as it travelled through every inch of her body.