“I’ll be back before you know it,” he muttered.
“Four years is a long time.” Sadness laced my voice.
“Darcey, if I knew that we were going to end up together, if I knew that you loved me, I would have never signed up. I would never have let your stupid brother talk me into it. But things were different back then, we were different back then. I can’t not go,” he said in barely a whisper, the pain striking through my heart.
You could see on his face he was feeling it too. He had no choice, he had to go.
He craned his neck lower as he pressed his lips onto mine, softly trying to show me how much I meant to him.
The tears began to fall, streaming down the sides of my face and becoming one with the droplets from the shower.
He inhaled deeply as he pulled away, his hazy green eyes boring into mine.
“Promise me one thing, Darcey,” he mumbled, his voice sounding desperate.
“Anything.” My eyes darted back and forth to his.
He took a moment to speak again, his eyes were focussing on mine so hard, as if he was trying to remember every detail about them.
“Promise me you will be strong. I need my Darcey back. The one I fell in love with.
“I promise,” I said, even though my voice didn’t sound convincing. I really did want to keep my promise.
“Promise me you’ll wait for me” his voice hushed
“always.”
Today was the day, Conor and Chase were standing outside the front of our house in their combat dress uniforms. I was so proud of them but absolutely heartbroken at the same time.
Me and Conor spent last night exploring and remembering every inch of each other’s bodies. I needed the intimacy. We didn’t have sex last night. We made love, over and over again. I could still smell him on me, a scent that I never wanted to go. But I knew it was going to. Just like him, he was going to disappear.
Fear crippled me that he wouldn’t be back. Sadness and anger consumed me.
Chase hugged my mum and dad, lingering a little longer than usual. My mum was a broken mess, and my dad even had tears in his eyes.
Chase stood in front of me, his grey eyes red and bloodshot, but he still had his beautiful smile on his face.
“I’m going to miss you,” I choked out, my throat tight and constricting.
“I’m going to miss you too, Darcey,” he said as he bent down, hugging me tightly, lifting my feet off the floor, kissing my cheek.
“Be safe, look after each other,” I mumbled as I palmed the tears off my face.
He nodded at me before he went to Robyn. His arms wrapped around her as his mouth covered hers, their kiss was slow and sweet as they said goodbye.
I couldn’t say I was shocked at their little outburst of PDA. Then my heart stilled, my handsome, stunning king was standing in front of me. His dreamy green eyes glistening from the unshed tears.
“Baby girl.” He just about managed to get my nickname out as he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up, my legs wrapping themselves around him tightly.
“Please don’t go.” I sobbed, my forehead pressed against his.
“I don’t want to go, but I’ve got to.” His voice was low, so only I could hear.
“I can’t live without you.” I sniffed, the tears still running down my face.
“Of course you can, and it’s only for four years. It’ll fly.” He let out a little laugh as his lips broke into a small smile before leaning in and kissing me slowly.
My heart fluttered in my chest. The contact that I so desperately craved from him shattering in an instant as he pulled away from me. I rubbed my thumb across his face to wipe away the stray tear that was running down his cheek.
“Promise me one thing, Conor.” I sniffed, trying to hold it together. The lump in my throat was burning, I felt like someone had stuck a hot iron rod into my wind pipe, my breath taken away from me, my tears threatening to spill.
“Anything, baby girl.”
“Come home to me,” I whispered through my silent sobs, my arms clinging round his neck. “Both of you.”
“I promise you,” he said as he put me down, leaning in, kissing me softly. “We’ve got to go,” he said as he let me go
“No, no, no. Conor, no, I’m not ready,” I shouted as he started to walk away, climbing into the coach that was sitting in the car park.
“I love you, Darcey Monroe Sawyer,” he said as he pressed two fingers to his lips and kissed them, holding them out to me.
“Always my baby girl,” he said before walking into the coach, Chase following behind him.
“I love you,” I cried out to him as the door shut. The coach started to pull away and move out of the car park. I don’t know what come over me, I knew I couldn’t stop him, I wouldn’t stop him, but I couldn’t stop my mind from acting. I ran as fast as I could after him, screaming his name over and over again. My voice was hoarse, my throat burning.
I could see his face in the rear window, his beautiful smile beaming at me, his stunning green eyes glistening, but not with happiness. With complete sadness.
He was feeling broken, just like I was.
I felt my heart starting to break as he got smaller and smaller from my view.
And just like that, he was gone.
I fell to the floor on the gravelled floor, my legs completely giving way under me as I gave up, hot tears burning down my face, my eyes blurring as I shouted out his name.
My heart obliterated inside my chest.
I was completely broken.
DARCEY
Four Years Later
I locked up my studio and walked to my car, looking at the messages I had missed throughout the day. A little smile graced my face as I saw the day. Thursday. Thursday quickly became my favourite day over the last four years as it was letter day.
The day I got to hear from my king.
We never officially said we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but I knew I didn’t want any other man.
I pulled up outside my beach house that I bought a year ago. It was secluded and on the coast with a stunning sea view that I could never tire of. I was only a ten minute drive from my parents, so that worked well for me. I didn’t want to move out, I wanted to stay at home with my parents, but I needed to move on. I needed some sort of closure from him.
I spent the first year in his room, sniffing his clothes and duvet cover. Anything to feel closer to him. He left a gaping hole in my heart when he left me. I knew he had to go but anger took over everything. He shouldn’t have left, I was in my own dark place and I needed him more than I could have ever imagined.
I slammed the car door shut, smiling to see that Robyn was home also. I ran towards the mail box that sat by the stairs that led to my house, and as I opened it, excitement brewed when I saw a handful of letters.
As I jogged up the stairs, I flicked through the letters, my heart thumping when I saw one for me and one for Robyn.
I put my key in the front door and let myself in.
“Hey, I’m home,” I called out, dropping my keys on the table by the front door.
I walked into our airy, light, open-plan kitchen and dining area, dropping the rest of the letters on the worktop, then walking towards the snug at the back of the kitchen. I ran my finger under the envelope and pulled the letter out, unfolding it slowly. A picture fell into my lap as I slumped in the basket chair looking out at the sea.