The Devil relayed my request with minimal adjustments, and it amused me he refused to say ‘pretty please’ to his brother. “I said pretty please.”
“I refuse to use those words. There are limits.”
I sipped my iced coffee. “Access to a fourth spot will be barred until you use those words in the appropriate order in a meaningful way.”
The Devil took his time thinking about it. “Michael, she’s making me say dirty words to gain access to a new spot.”
I laughed. “I’m such a cruel dictator.” I tilted my head to the side and pointed at a rather nice spot along my throat, one that made me purr whenever someone stroked it. “This is a particularly nice spot, and I may consider introducing you to it should you learn to use those words in the appropriate order.”
“I will help escort all of your enemies straight to hell for that spot. I will do so in a fashion so brutal mortals will quake in fear for a hundred years.”
“Pretty please are the words you need to say if you want this spot.”
“You’re really going to make me say dirty words to gain access to that spot?”
“And you can hire me, but you won’t be getting to meet any new spots until you use those terrible, awful, tragically dirty words.” I pointed at the spot on my wrist. “You will get this spot for all eternity should you fail to use those dirty words.”
“Ruthless,” the Devil complained. “Michael wants to talk to you again.”
I took the phone and placed it to my ear. “How can I help you, Michael?”
“He has not used the equivalent of please in a thousand years. It is not a part of his current vocabulary.”
“Excellent. He can demonstrate how badly he wants access to a new spot, then. What are the symptoms of this poison, if I may ask?”
“It is primarily neurological, so you will experience tremors in your hands, a weakness in your grip, potentially blurred vision, and a difficulty remembering things. You will forget people and names fairly early, although you will be aware of having a relationship with them. This will, frankly spoken, create some issues with my brother, as he will find your adjusted behavior intolerable. It will be like you are walking through a thick, dense fog. You will experience severe head pain, and by the time the meeting happens, you will be quite pained. Lorenzo Gallo meticulously planned the onset to make certain you fall into his hands when you are most pained and pliable, but before you reach the point of no return.”
“Well, that’s rude of him.”
“You are aware of his nature. This is nothing compared to the things he has done to others.”
“And should I pass on his generous offer for the antidote?”
“In the later stages, you will remember nothing of who you are. You will eventually fall into a comatose state. Death comes shortly after. The comatose state is unpleasant for those witnessing it, although you won’t really feel the seizures and other symptoms as your brain goes into the final stages of death. It is a nasty toxin. He intends on giving you a compound that will slow the progress. Every now and then, he would give you something that would mostly reverse it, essentially enslaving you. He does not care for your happiness. He only cares for his end goals, and you are exotic. You could live for a very long time like that.”
“Is this something you can help me with?”
“It is within my power to purge the poison from your body. My brother forgets, but it is within his powers to purge the poison from your body as well. He has not lost his heavenly flames. This is but one of his many flaws. He can heal many things should he choose. To be fair to my brother, he has not healed anyone in many years, for he spends little time on the mortal coil. His work in his many hells keeps him occupied, and until now, he has had no reason to handle mortal affairs directly. He visits but always with a purpose. That is what makes my brother who he is. He changes.”
“And you do not,” I guessed.
“You are mostly correct. I do not change often. We can learn, and we change when we learn, but we rarely experience new things. My brother is far more curious than the rest of us, although we do find humans to be sufficiently entertaining from time to time.”
“You change within allowed parameters?”
“Precisely.”
“When will the symptoms start?”
“By tomorrow morning, you will no longer recognize anyone without intervention, although you will have most of your memories intact. Events you will remember, but the names of people, places, and things will be significantly hampered.”
“That does not sound like a good time for me.”
“I expect you will be approached again tomorrow, likely with another poisoned gift to help speed the poison’s progression, especially when you did not opt to smell the roses you were given. They will be monitoring you.”
“This doesn’t bode well for me securing revenge, Michael. I cannot plan revenge when my brains are dribbling out of my ears.”
“You speak the truth, but it would be wise to allow the toxin to do the work for some time.”
“Are you looking into the future?”
“Perhaps a little.”
Okay. That was cool. “Can your brother do that?”
“He can, and he does at his whim. He does not wish to look into this future for his own reasons. He enjoys surprises. I am more methodical on this matter than him. He is a creature of passion, and the methodical approach does not appeal to him at this point in time. That may change.”
I pulled the phone from my ear. “Hey, Lucifer?”
“What is it?”
“You can count spots on my arm tomorrow, one spot for every time I can’t remember your name, but you can only ask me once every twenty minutes as a part of monitoring this poison’s progression. However, you must trust Michael to tell you when it’s the appropriate time to pull the plug on this little experience.”
Michael laughed, and I returned the phone to my ear in time to hear him say, “Should you make that bargain, he will do nothing but count spots all day tomorrow, and you have yourself to blame for this. Is it wise for me to control your fate?”
“I expect you’ll take me right to the point of no return should we proceed.”
“Yes. There is a reason for this.”
“And will this win me more than it will lose me?”
Michael took his time considering my question. “Much of the answer depends on you.”
“Illuminate me, Michael.”
“You will lose things. You will win things. I cannot judge the value of what you will win and lose. Some things I hesitate to look for in the future, for those futures are often uncertain and unclear, and I do not wish to lead you astray.”
“Hey, Lucifer. Do you think I’ll win more than I lose scheming with your brother?”
“Win,” he replied without hesitation.
“Justify that statement, please.”
“If my brother waits until a more dire point, I will be very eager to rid this Earth of these people, and you will get to enjoy tormenting them in a very special place in my hells, for I will be highly motivated to give them their fair share of attention.”
“Okay. Lucifer is all right with this. I can handle some suffering for a good cause, and if it does good down the road, then it’s worth it to me.”