“Yes,” The archangels chorused.
The Devil sighed. “I require you to be in good health so I can selfishly count your spots. I am not whining. I am making these idiot archangels understand you are attractive and exotic, thus you should be treated better than some experiment. The only experimentation I enjoy takes place in my dungeon.”
Having seen the Devil’s bedroom, which resembled a dungeon for perverts out for a good time with cuffs and whips and other implements I wasn’t quite ready to even imagine, I recognized his statement could be taken one of several ways. I chuckled. “He thinks I’m attractive and exotic, Michael. He might need some help. Maybe his lack of support for his various issues is why he is like he is now.”
“He is like he is now because he is spoiled, vain, greedy, and rather selfish.” Michael chuckled and strode towards my kitchen. “I will observe the human so there are no mishaps. This toxin’s potency is what makes it so dangerous. It only takes a little to kill.”
“What questions do you have for me?” I asked, propping my chin on my hands. If they wanted me to get up, they’d have to move the Devil, and I got the feeling he wouldn’t be cooperating without a fight the mortals would lose without question.
“When did you first come into contact with this Lorenzo Gallo?” the cop from the station asked.
I really wished I remembered his name. “Never that I know of. My brother is the idiot who made a deal with his thugs, not me. I just caught his attention when I told the bastards to get the hell off my property, and I enforced it with a firearm. I have a conceal carry license, and no shots were fired.”
“Yes, we are aware of your concealed carry license.” The cop approached my brother and leaned over, and I tensed. “Has Mr. Esmaranda changed since his transformation?”
The Devil stroked the spot on the back of my neck. “There will be no changes.”
“I didn’t ask you, sir.”
I raised a brow, wondering if I’d have to explain to the other cops why their colleague had come to a brutal end at the hands of the Devil. Intervening would keep things mostly cordial, and I could use a small spot to keep things calm. Lifting my head, I held up my right hand and pointed at the spot on the tip of my index finger. “You can play with this spot if you behave and give me a back rub at a later time of my choosing.”
The Devil stilled, and I grinned at having made him stop and think about whether he wanted my spot or to take his temper out on a cop. “There still won’t be any changes to your brother.”
“You still have to behave and give me a back rub at a later time of my choosing if you want access to this spot.”
Heaving a sigh, the Devil muttered, “Very well.”
With a low chuckle I’d count as wicked had it come from anyone other than an archangel, Gabriel stepped between the cop and the Devil. “With the due respect owed to an officer of the law, be aware of whom you speak. Lucifer really does not care for mortal laws, and He does not typically intervene should His fallen son create trouble for you. Right now, my brother works at the young lady’s whim, and it would not be wise for you to test those waters.”
Everyone stopped and stared at the Devil.
“You’re Satan?” the cop blurted.
“In the flesh,” the Devil replied, and he resumed massaging my shoulders. “She prefers this guise, although I am willing to give you a taste of what it means to stand in my presence if you’d like.”
“If you stop rubbing my back, I’ll put you in your own damned dungeon for at least a year, and I’ll make sure you don’t like it.” I would, too. I’d already gotten Belial to stand in line. I could find another one of his devils to do my dirty work. If I ganged them up, I could get my way, then I’d kick everyone else out of the dungeon and have some fun at the Devil’s expense.
I’d like it. A lot.
In my kitchen, Michael laughed. “She really will, brother mine.”
The cop spluttered, but after a moment, he asked, “What is so important that two archangels and Satan have interest in this matter?”
The cop’s indignant tone annoyed me, and I flattened my ears. Not even the Devil paying extra attention to my favorite spot soothed me. I wanted to bite the officer, but I settled with a hiss. Did he dare imply my brother was not worth the attention of two archangels and the Devil himself? Sure, my brother had done some stupid shit, but I didn’t give a shit about that.
However much Jonas annoyed me, I would still consider storming the heavens should my takeover of the hells fail to go to plan.
He was my brother.
After taking a moment to consider my situation, perhaps I needed to storm the heavens to fully earn my trip to the Devil’s many hells while also recruiting more help for my cause.
I’d have to put some thought into it later.
“Forgive her,” the Devil requested. “She’s a passionate, jealous creature.”
Was I? I took a few moments to consider that, too. “No, I just need you for the stuff I want to do. I saw you first, so they have to wait their turn, assuming I decide their turn will come. You agreed, so you’re stuck with it. You should be happy I’m a generous and kind woman. I let you have spots when you display a capacity for good behavior and general obedience. You’re happy I’m generous and kind, aren’t you?”
“I recognize when I can’t win this one. My answer is yes, I am happy you’re generous and kind to me and only me in regards to your spots. I’m a jealous being. I refuse to share the spots I’ve earned.”
“This is a bargain you have lost, brother.” Gabriel laughed at the Devil. “Keep a close eye on him, Darlene. He was never good at being obedient. I do not expect that to change now.”
“He’ll be obedient if he wants to continue enjoying access to any of my spots. I have retained rights to revoke access to my spots at any time.”
“She is a most cruel creature.” To my amusement, he continued his massage. “I do enjoy being bribed and coerced into obedience. It’s one of my many sins.”
Gabriel went to my brother’s cage, took off the lid, and captured Jonas, stroking his furry back. Wisely, my brother kept his teeth to himself. “This one will vex you greatly over the years. I thought you should know.”
“They always do. I am debating how best to handle the situation.”
“He will need to be quite durable to survive his sister’s temper. Do keep that in mind. She would become most distressed should something happen to her brother, no matter what unsavory forms of address she assigns to him.” Gabriel tucked his wings close to his back. “Darlene, I will take care to detoxify your home once the humans leave, although I will leave it to the humans to determine if any of their number came into contact with the toxin. They would do well to take every care.”
“Thank you, Gabriel. That’s kind of you. I appreciate it.”
“Of course. It is but a small matter, and acts of kindness such as this please Him. You are also keeping my brother amused, which means things are a little more peaceful than usual. For the moment. Things may become less than peaceful in the near future, but only a fool would expect any other result from this situation.”