“That’s what redecorating is for.”
“I just redecorate the new office right before I move into it. I cycle through them.”
“You’re weird.”
The Devil laughed. “If weird is what you like, then I am pleased to be weird for you.” Pausing at a door, he nodded to it. “This is one of my offices. There will be a connecting door installed, but for now, we’ll have to come down the hall if you’re in your trophy room. I was told I cannot just punch a hole through the wall.”
“You would disturb my fish if you did that.”
“I resent I cannot simply kill your new pet fish. Alloces was moved into his new home while I was keeping you amused.”
“I have my first fish?” I asked, and I hurried down the hall to the next door. “This one?”
He laughed. “Yes, that one.”
I pushed open the door to discover a spacious room with floor to ceiling aquariums devouring space against most walls, with enough of a gap for a door to the Devil’s office. A large desk occupied the center of the room, and it would allow me a view of all of the tanks from the leather chair. One corner, devoid of aquariums, held a stainless steel coffee maker and everything needed to make coffee for myself. To my delight, clear panes of glass created sections in the glass aquariums, and upon closer inspection, there were air gaps between each level and flaps so I could access the tanks, virtually invisible unless close to them. “This is incredible.”
“In the cabinet beneath your coffee maker is a refrigerator so you won’t have to venture far to get your milk or cream. I’ve been warned as you are a feline, I will have to invest in ridiculous amounts of milk for you.”
Damn it. Jonas must have tattled on me. “My brother has been telling you things, hasn’t he?”
“I’ve been lectured about your favorite foods, your milk obsession, your tendency to be stingy towards yourself, thus turning milk into a luxury, and your obsession with a good steak and fish. I found it rather amusing he was willing to face off against me while trying to defend your chastity.”
“I hope you told him that I do not need or want my chastity protected.”
“The succubi in attendance for that meeting laughed and informed him I was on your menu, and it would require a miracle for you to keep your hands off me. It was very difficult to keep from laughing at your brother’s expression over that one, as the succubi were most displeased over your intense interest in my person. You were rather incoherent when I brought you in, and you were still tripping their triggers.”
As I refused to be ashamed of my adoration of his chest, I shrugged, crossed the room to my desk, and discovered a fish bowl near the computer, which contained a bright red fish with long, flowing fins swimming by itself. I set my coffee down, bent over, and peered into the water.
The fish spread its fins and attempted to make itself look as big as possible, probably to intimidate me. All it accomplished was impressing me with its beauty. I pointed at it. “Is this Alloces?”
“Oh, no. That is a fish I spotted at the store when helping select your tanks and figuring out how to get them installed in here. He did that to me. At that point, I had to have him, so he’s now our fish, but I have decided he’ll stay in your office. He’s a normal, mortal fish. I’m debating making him an immortal fish. He postured at me.”
“Fish that are brave enough to show aggression to you is impressive, I take it?”
“My devilish nature often intimidates small animals. This is a consequence of my fall. All I do to this one, though? Piss him off. That’s it. I just piss him off. And worse? He loves being pissed off at me. He is so proud of himself. So, I’ll have to make sure I visit him daily so he doesn’t become upset.”
The Devil had a soft heart, and I couldn’t even fault him for his reason for taking the fish home. “He’s really pretty, like a swimming jewel.”
“Alloces is over here, and I have to admit, he’s been outclassed by a mortal fish.” The Devil stepped to one of the tanks near the space meant for a door between our offices. “I thought you’d like to name the red fish.”
“Ruby, because he really is like a little jewel. Is this bowl big enough for him? Does he need anything else?” I admired Ruby, who continued to show off his fins for me. He had a little plant in his glass house along with a rock he could lounge on at his leisure with sand filling the bottom. When inspecting the sand, I discovered two more fish, small, pale, and covered in dark spots. “Oh! There are two more in here. They look like finned snow leopards!”
“Those are catfish,” the Devil announced proudly. “They’re called Cory cats. The water will be magically filtered, and I took steps to make sure everyone gets along. If Ruby becomes lonely, the Cory cats can keep him company.”
“Catfish for a cat.” I purred, sipping my coffee and taking another few minutes to watch my new pets. “They’re adorable.”
“Your brother told me you enjoy aquariums, and you would appreciate some fish keeping you closer company. I may have gone overboard.”
“Yeah, it really does look like you have done just that. How many tanks are in here? How did you get them in here and set up so quickly?”
“Sixty. I recruited devils and demons to do the work, and I offered them some incentives. I also may have used Alloces as an example, and I’d be much less likely to use the same punishment on those who keep you happy. It is amusing how many will volunteer under those circumstances. Add in a little magic, and it was done in a span of a few hours. There’s an office next door that can be converted into another trophy room if you run out of space in here. Alloces is not a social fish, although he will happily breed with any female due to his devilish nature. I recommend against that, as his finned children would have the potential to be sentient, so he is best left alone. Should any sentients unexpectedly be born in your aquariums, they’ll be your responsibility, so manage your residents carefully. And yes, I’ll check on your residents to make sure you know should it happen—and figure out the best way to handle transforming them into a more appropriate shape. Alloces will fight to the death with other males of most species, so he gets solitary confinement.”
I made a mental note to be particularly careful about who shared tanks with who—and to ask around about what would happen if a sentient happened to be conceived in one of my tanks. I turned my attention to the tank. A bright blue fish the size of my hand with proud fins swam in the clear water, darting among the bright coral. “Oh, that coral is pretty. He’s kinda pretty, too. Okay, I won’t lie, he’s really pretty. What is he?”
“He is an angelfish. I decided he didn’t get to be anything other than an angelfish. Belial and I had quite the argument over that, but I won.”
I stared at the Devil. “You turned a devil into an angelfish?”
“He will remember how he is to behave when it comes to you in the future.”
“You have issues,” I informed the Devil.
“But worrying about how he will treat you in the future is not one of my issues. By the time I allow him out of his tank, he will know to walk around you with great caution and treat you with the respect you are owed. Should he not, I’ll let you do your worst to him. By that point in time, I expect your worst will be a delight to behold.” With a rather vicious grin, the Devil gestured to my collection of tanks. “You’ll have a wonderful time finding new residents for your office.”