“It disgusts me you have made their union almost inevitable.”
“I like my unicorns, and I refuse to see them wiped out.”
“All things end, Lucifer.”
“But not my unicorns. They will be the last to fall even through the End of Days, you hear me? And they’ll be my first in the next life. For as long as my seed exists, there will be unicorns.”
“Lucifer.”
“Not. My. Unicorns.”
“Darlene, please address this problem,” Gabriel requested.
“Wait. You’re telling me unicorns are real, and that you want me to support not preventing their extinction? No. I’m with the Devil on this one. They’re my unicorns now, and I will resent if anyone were to aid in their extinction. What species needs the most help? You said the standard unicorns and these cindercorns will be okay?”
“Okay is a stretch, but they are not going to all die out, and they can convert members of their numbers. The qilin and kirin are secure enough. The qilin have established themselves with the Babylonians, and the kirin still roam the wilds of China, India, and Russia. There are still wild places left for them, and they have sufficient power of belief to sustain themselves.”
“Power of belief?” I asked.
The Devil strode to the couch and thumped onto the leather surface, propping his feet onto the coffee table. “The kirin are much like succubi and incubi, in that they require energy to sustain themselves. I tied their existence to the belief in the higher powers, of goodness and protection, and the Chinese culture maintains many rituals suitable for sustaining them. Western cultures help as well, for little children who believe in any unicorn help sustain the kirin. The qilin are more like my standard unicorns, and feed in another manner.”
“They’re carnivores,” Gabriel explained. “Scavengers, really. Standard unicorns shepherd souls from the battlefields of the world, disposing of abandoned bodies so that the Earth is not flooded with the spirits of the deceased. The qilin are much like them, but they’re meant for the Eastern cultures. For all I dislike his methods, the unicorns all serve an important purpose for the mortal coil. I would argue that my brother’s fall is among the greatest gifts He has given mankind, but I would also argue that He did all mortals justice cultivating Lucifer to be inclined to create unicorns. Only because of them is there magic, for their creation birthed mortal magic.”
“Unicorns are the source of magic?”
“Not precisely.” Gabriel picked up my empty coffee cup and held it up. “Until the creation of unicorns, the cup of magic was much like this, empty but for a few drops. Those drops were the requirements for life, gifts from the universe itself. The seeds Lucifer planted, which became unicorns, resulted in the first surge of magic mortals experienced. The cup filled, and it eventually overflowed. Once the power of their births faded, the cup became drained, and the wave ended. The cup then began to refill. Each emergence is the point when the cup overflows and magic spills out from the vessels meant to hold it. Depending on what is fueling the surge of magic, it can burn out quickly or last decades, centuries—or even a thousand or more years. The first emergence lasted several hundred years.”
“And this emergence?”
“That would be telling.”
I bet the Devil’s shirt the archangel smiled a smug smile much like his brother. “Basically, I’m barely a ripple in the pond in terms of my lifespan. That’s what you’re saying.”
“That is what conversion is for. My brother intends to finish what was started and keep you at his side until the End of Days and beyond. And do not ask about what was started. My brother would become distressed. He has handled the important work, and He has already arranged for the balance of it. You can have your temper tantrum over it later if you please, Lucifer.”
The Devil sighed. “This is where I’m supposed to use filthy words again, isn’t it?”
While I had no idea what they were talking about, I nodded my agreement. “Do it to His face. It won’t hurt you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Does losing access to my spots hurt you?”
“I’m already hurt you have made your fur disappear.”
“They will stay disappeared for longer if you put up a fight about using your filthy words to show appropriate gratitude at the appropriate times. It’s called manners, and I expect you to use them.”
“You have some pretty harsh rules,” the Devil complained, and I recognized his lies through his body language, which relaxed. “I can’t help but notice you are lovely even without your spots. I need that coffee now, Gabriel. I think it’s time to teach her precisely what she’s getting into, and she needs her coffee to enjoy herself properly.”
“I recommend you hang a sign on your door requesting you do not be disturbed. Remember, until you convert her, she is still technically mortal, and you need to take extra special care with her. However much it disgusts me to say this, for it means mortal men are beyond stupid for not desiring her for what she is, you are the first to take proper notice of her.”
“Gabriel. You do realize I am the Devil, right?”
“You are the Devil, but you are also an idiot when it comes to matters requiring delicacy.”
“I’m well aware of what I have to work with, and it makes claiming every spot that much more enjoyable. She resists me, Gabriel.”
“Resist is not the word I would use.”
I snorted at the archangel’s rather blunt implication I had zero interest in resisting anything involving the Devil’s perfect chest and a bed. “Should I have just worn the tie to send the appropriate message?”
“You wisely selected your attire for your purposes,” the archangel assured me. “Just tell him to be gentle and keep in mind you’ll tire easily. I will bring all of the things for your kittens along with your coffee, and I’ll even provide the sign and perhaps warn the other residents they would be unwise to bother you at this point in time. Do not let him forget the mortal customs you enjoy, and I recommend you recruit one of the friendlier succubi with help with your attire. You can learn some interesting arts from them, although I suspect most of your lessons will be handled by Lucifer while he handles your person.”
“If he ever hopes to count a single one of my spots in the future, he better be handling me along with my lessons.”
The archangel laughed. “I’ll bring your coffee and your kittens’ supplies momentarily. Be patient until then.”
I waited for the archangel to disappear before saying, “Are you capable of being patient?”
“I dislike it very much right now, although it wouldn’t do to have you bereft of a cold drink while you enjoy a hot show.”
The Lord of Lies told a great deal fewer falsehoods than I expected. “It surprises me he’s not embarrassed by my untraditional attire.”
“While he is not Sariel, he appreciates women as much as other archangels. When my brother is swayed by a mortal, I will be there, ready to indulge in mocking laughter. Should he fall for a mortal woman, I have the perfect incubus in mind. And should he fall for a mortal man, well, I’d have to put some serious thought into which succubus is partnered with her, as she’ll have to swap to be more of a Gabriella for a while.”