Ethan was a challenge—a tough case to crack.
But I was determined to figure him out.
“Jake Tomson is harmless, Ethan.”
Ethan tilted his head down, and for a brief moment, his icy blue eyes met my gaze before turning back to the mess hall before him. “No one is harmless, Jett,” he drew in a deep breath and adjusted his stance, “Don’t be stupid. There’s a bunch of dodgy blokes at this school. I can’t be looking after you at all times.”
“I never asked you to look after me.”
“Fine. You’re on your own tonight then.” His arms crossed over his chest, and my nerves twisted into knots.
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
Rolling my eyes, I walked away before picking up into a light jog to catch up with Jake and Bria.
“No running in the halls,” Ethan called out, sarcasm dripping from his tone. A slow smile stretched across my face knowing Ethan turned back to watch me, and I didn’t slow down either because I was still the rebellious badass.
This was our relationship: hitting me with such comments, but his eyes held a different story. Though Ethan never smiled, he was the first one to help me find mine after Ollie left. The rest of last semester I’d spent in a fog, but Ethan pulled me out. If I’d never met Ollie, I could have easily fallen for Ethan, despite the way he treated me like a little sister. But I did meet Ollie, and there would never be anyone else.
“Is this the right door?” Jake asked as I approached them down the second wing.
“Yeah … this … it’s the one,” I panted with my hands over my knees.
Jake looked me over with wide eyes. “Damn, girl. You seriously need to exercise more. You were in great shape when Ollie was here.”
Bria laughed.
I didn’t.
Jake swung an arm over my shoulder. “Come on, lighten up a little bit.”
The door before us swung open, and the three of us immediately straightened our posture. A man over six-feet-tall stood over us, long dark hair just above the shoulders, and drooped earlobes from those big hole earrings, I’d assumed. The guy’s pale skin glowed against his black clothing, and his lips were perfection. Frosty blue eyes sliced through the three of us between his long black lashes. “Can I help you?”
“I … um … ye…” Jake shoved my shoulder for assistance as he fell into a hypnotized state.
“I’m Mia. This is Jake and Bria. We just wanted to welcome you to Dolor.” Being new at this whole introducing thing, I tried to remember how Jake and Alicia did this when they appeared at my door on the first day. “Want to be a part of our pity-party?”
The dark-haired guy raised his brow. “Pity party?”
“Well, no. That was a joke. You see, when I first arriv—
Bria dug her heel into my foot to silence me. “What she means to say is, if you’re ever looking for a good time, let us know.”
“Ah, a good time? What makes you think I’m down?”
Bria rocked on her heels and ran her finger across her lip. She had this in the bag. “I guess there’s only way to find out. Friday. Meet us after breakfast.”
He leaned over and planted his palm over the dorm frame. “In the morning?”
“I-it-it’s kind of an all-day event,” Bria stammered.
Great, she was buckling. I had Jake to my right who was still in shock and drooling, and Bria who forgot how to use her voice box.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
The dark-haired guy’s pale blue eyes slid to me in the middle. “Jude.”
“See you on Friday, Jude,” I grabbed both helpless humans from beside me and dragged them away from his door. “You two need to get a grip,” I whispered when we got at least ten feet away. I turned back around to find Jude’s head hanging out of the door frame, and his lip turned up in the corner.
“Easy for you to say, you only have eyes for the one bloke who isn’t here,” Bria finally spoke after coming back from her Jude-induced coma. “Ollie’s not coming back, Mia. It’s been seven months. Time to have some fun.”
“You mean to tell me Mia hasn’t … in seven months?” Jake’s expression utterly shocked.
“Bria either,” I countered with my eyes shooting daggers at her.
“I have a good reason. I’m still adjusting,” Bria said defensively. Instantly, guilt washed over me for mentioning it. Bria was still recovering from what happened New Years, but I became proud of all she had accomplished since then. “Although, Jude is just what I needed to push me into full recovery.”
Turning the corner, I’m face to face with another wall of books rising to the ceiling. Colors of their bindings blur together along with my vision as I spin in circles, looking for a way out. There is no way out. Running through the maze, my heart pounds inside my ears and it hurts to breathe. The moment I stop running is the moment I give up. I know this, and I keep running.
“Ollie, I can’t find you!” I cry out, my head turning in all directions. All I see are books, dozens of them closing in on me. “Call out to me!”
The books laugh back at me, taunting whispers flow through their pages. Their words wrap around my windpipe. Each aisle I run through inch smaller and smaller, shelves cave in, and before I know it, I have to squeeze through the aisles.
My legs give out and my body collapses to the ground. I drop my head into my hands as my senses overpower with defeat.
“Wake up!”
My eyes flew open to see someone leaning over my bed with a hand over my shoulder. “Ollie?”
His jaw clenched. “Ethan.”
“Ethan…” I echoed through a sigh, blinking rapidly. Sweat built up between me and the sheet and my hair stuck to my face. I kicked the top sheet off me. The room was dark, but I managed to make out Ethan’s silhouette as he took a seat beside me on the edge of the mattress. He wiped a cold towel over my face like he did every other time in the middle of the night. “You said you wouldn’t come anymore.”
Ethan stayed silent, gathering my hair in his hand and pulling it off my neck. The cold towel at my nape soothed the fever of my night terror.
“Ignoring your screams is torture,” he mumbled.
The night terrors had come every night since Ollie left, and I could rarely recall what my nightmares were about, but for seven months, Ethan had been the one to pull me from them.
My breathing steadied, and I rolled over and looked up at Ethan as he moved the towel across my neck and over my collarbone. He never touched me with his bare hands, only the cool hand towel he always had prepared.
And every night I needed it.
But tonight, I needed more.
Slowly, my fingers inched to his over the wet towel. My mind raced, and I didn’t know what I was doing, but my body starved for any source of physical comfort. Ollie was gone, and I was desperate. My irrational thoughts spun, thinking Ethan’s hands could heal me from the loss. Or perhaps I just needed someone to hold me because when my eyes closed, the ache surfaced. Ollie wasn’t here to take it away, but Ethan was.
Ethan didn’t move. He froze, seeing what would come of it. His eyes stayed on mine as I pulled his hand to my face. I closed my eyes against his warm skin. It was nothing like Ollie’s hand, but comforting in its own way. Releasing an exhale, I held his hand there, waiting.