“Is there anything I could have done – or that I still could do?”
Nikki shook her head, tears again beginning to stream slowly down her cheeks. “That’s what makes it so hard. You’re such an amazing guy. All you’ve ever done was prove that to me. I never, ever expected this to happen. You worked on things that you knew I needed in a relationship. You genuinely showed an interest in me. And you’re probably the most naturally funny guy I’ve ever met.”
Ryan did something unexpected to Nikki. Having watched the sincerity in Nikki as she explained herself to him, Ryan reached across the table and wiped her tears with his hand. He then reached out and held her hand gently to provide her support.
“Oh, you’re kidding me,” Nikki blurted out. “See? This is what I’m talking about. You’re almost the perfect guy. No other guy would ever react like this toward someone who’s breaking up with him – trust me.”
Ryan again surprised Nikki with his calm and confident reaction in a moment which was obviously extremely painful for him. “Do you love him? Like … really love this other guy?”
Nikki just nodded her head while Ryan continued to provide her support by holding her hand.
Ryan took a deep breath. “Then don’t apologize.”
“But I am. I’m so sorry. I never expected to suddenly fall in love with someone else. It’s just that he …”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t, what?”
“Don’t tell me about the other guy. I don’t need to know. I know you. I know that you’re a focused, cautious, and confident woman. If you say you’re in love, I truly believe you are. I can even see it in your eyes. And if I’m being honest, I saw something different in you a couple days ago when you made that wedding cake on our date. I’d hoped it was because you were thrilled to be on that date with me. But I get it now. You were in love. Just, not with me. And that hurts. It really does. You’re an amazing, beautiful woman who inspired me in so many ways, Nikki. You helped me start to see life in a different way. And it hurts because I saw myself with you. I really did.”
Ryan gulped, like the reality of the sudden situation, and how it would affect him, was now setting in. “But I’ll move on. I have to. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. Maybe that’s the adventure in life – the adventure which I now see in life after having met you. But I will. It won’t be easy, but I have to.”
“Are you sure?”
Ryan sighed deeply. “I will, somehow. Maybe it’ll take a change in scenery – maybe I’ll move back to Jackson, Wyoming. I don’t know. I fell for you that hard, Nikki. Really. But do me a favor.”
“What’s that?”
“If you love him – if you really love him – don’t worry about me for a second. I’m a man – I’ll be okay. Don’t look back. Only look forward with the man you love. Okay?”
Nikki admired the man sitting in front of her. Everything about him. She felt incredibly humbled and indebted to him for the way in which he handled what was obviously a nightmarish situation for him.
Ryan picked up her hand and kissed the back of it briefly from across the table. “Promise?”
Nikki smiled and chuckled in disbelief of his forgiving reaction. “This is why you’re so amazing, Ryan. I don’t deserve this.”
“Promise?” He asked again.
“I promise.”
Ryan let go of her hand. As he did so, he took one last chance to feel her cheek in his hand. “I’m going to miss you.”
As soon as Ryan briefly held her cheek in his hand, it made Nikki’s head shift to look to the side just a bit. But that’s all it took.
Nikki’s heart instantly fell like a thousand-pound weight from her chest. Her face turned just as white as Ryan’s had when she broke the bad news to him.
Nikki was staring out the window, aghast at what she saw on the other side of it. Luke.
Luke stood there, staring through the restaurant window right back at her and Ryan. Tears flowed from Luke’s eyes. Nikki didn’t know how long Luke had happened to be watching them or what he saw. But she knew that, from outside the restaurant, things would appear much different than how they were really unfolding inside. Their hand-holding, Ryan kissing her hand, how she smiled and chuckled, and now Ryan holding her cheek. All of it. All of it was obviously being misunderstood by the incredibly shocked and anguished Luke just feet away on the other side of the glass window.
Instantly, Nikki shot up from her seat, her apologetic stare focused now only on Luke. “No, no!”
Luke’s disbelief and pain at the scene overcame him as he wiped the tears from his face and began walking quickly down the street while shaking his head in denial.
The scene months ago of Luke having to quickly shoot up from the table on his first date with Nikki was now being mirrored in Nikki’s reaction at the same table. Ryan watched as Nikki jumped up from her seat, her attention now being sucked toward something pressing as she jetted out of the restaurant’s door.
Nikki ran outside, searching down the sidewalk for him.
“Luke!” She yelled as she paced quickly down the sidewalk. “Luke! It wasn’t what it looked like!”
She yelled this down the street, hoping that he heard her somehow because she wasn’t seeing him at all. By now, he had obviously taken off running away from the horrible scene which he must have accidentally stumbled upon on a walk to her apartment just a block away. And the thing was, Nikki didn’t blame him for his reaction. She knew how things would have looked. But still, she wasn’t going to give up. She loved him.
“Luke!” She yelled one more time as she stopped running a block away from the restaurant. She then quickly pulled out her phone to try and call him. Nothing. It went straight to voicemail.
“Luke. Call me back, please,” she said desperately in a voicemail which she doubted he’d even listen to. The emotion of her crying was easily heard in her voice. “Please. It wasn’t what it looked like. I promise.”
She hung up and sent a similar text message, hoping that she’d catch him that way: “Call me back. PLEASE. I can explain. Please. It wasn’t what it looked like. Please call me back.”
She stood on the sidewalk as strangers walked by in the busy city. But despite all of the people crammed in the city, there was only her and her phone. She stared at it for what felt like forever, hoping to see some sign that he got her messages and was going to say something back to her.
Nothing.
Chapter 24
“Hey, mom.” Nikki’s glum face matched her tone of despair as her mother opened the front door to see her adult daughter standing in the night air.
“Hey Nikki. Come on in – you know you don’t have to knock!” As soon as Nikki stepped inside of her parents’ house, her mom wrapped her arms around her. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“Mom …” But that’s all Nikki could muster saying, her sadness making her reluctant to just spill everything.
Nikki’s mother read her like a book without another word even needing said. Trying to deflect Nikki’s attention to another subject, her mom commented: “This is great timing. We were just about to clean up from dinner. So, we got some food left for you if you’d like.”