“Oh, our food definitely won’t live up to her standards,” her father joked as he walked to the front door to say hi. “Just kidding, honey,” he said to his wife before pecking her on the cheek to let her know it was just a joke about their daughter’s passion for cooking.
“Hi dad.”
“Nikki, why the sad look? I haven’t seen you come back here so dejected since you thought you flunked out of culinary school.”
“No, dad,” Nikki smiled reluctantly at his prodding, “that was because I’d found out I wouldn’t be the valedictorian for the graduation.”
Her dad’s smile said he knew he had been wrong and that it was a joke meant to send a message about her high dreams for life. “Oh, my bad. Easy mistake to make for you, though.”
“Dad … it’s not funny. I mean it. I’m really in a hard place.”
Her parents both ushered her into the kitchen for their dinner leftovers.
“Let’s see,” her dad said, “if I remember correctly, the last time we spoke you were drowning your sorrows in a batch of cupcakes. Is that right?”
“Has it really been that long since I talked to you?”
“It’s okay,” her mom interjected. “We don’t have cupcakes, but we do have fudge!”
“Fudge?” Nikki’s sadness turned into hope. “I leave you guys alone for a couple months and I come home to you eating fudge for dinner? I hope you guys are eating more than just desserts every night.”
“Well …” Her father grinned, “we did learn how to make it from the best.”
“I never taught you how to make fudge.”
“No, but the back of the box did!” He led her right into another joke, catching Nikki off guard and resulting in her smiling at his quick-witted set up.
“Try some and tell me what you think.” Her mom’s eyes were hopeful to gain the approval of her distinguished daughter’s palette.
Nikki took a bite, thrilled that she’d walked into a batch of fudge at her parents’ home. She’d just been hoping to be able to find respite in their house and to vent to them about everything that had happened the past couple of months. She couldn’t believe it’d been that long since she talked to them last – she’d been so busy falling in love and dating two guys, while working, that she felt bad for never returning her mom’s calls.
Nikki took a bite of the fudge. “Wow, this really is good, mom!”
“Really? You mean it?”
“I mean it. Where’d you really learn to cook this?”
“Your father wasn’t kidding – from the back of a box.” When her father had said it, it was obviously meant to be a joke. But, now, the matter-of-fact way that her mother had said it reinforced that they were not needing any special recipe or instruction from their daughter. If Nikki wasn’t still so overcome with sadness from her current predicament, she’d wonder if her mother even recognized how what she just said could have been interpreted by her as a slight insult.
Her father’s tone got serious. “Hey, so I know you and your mom have a lot of catching up to do, but I was hoping to hang out with you like the old days.”
“You mean the good old days,” Nikki said with a slight smirk of hope.
“You said it. So, what do you say? Wanna go watch the stars for a bit on the roof?”
“Yes!” The words couldn’t escape Nikki’s mouth fast enough. She was looking for anything good to latch onto, and her father’s offer nailed it. His suggestion instantly brought so many amazing memories to the front of her mind that she immediately knew it was what she really needed. Her father was a fountain of wisdom and had always seemed to help things come into perspective during their nighttime discussions atop the roof. Over the years, those discussions had become synonymous with the feeling of home. So, she was quick to jump at his offer.
Nikki followed her father out of her old bedroom window and onto the roof. Just the sight of the immensity of the stars immediately brought Nikki back to those childhood memories which she so revered.
“You know, I can’t really see the stars in the city,” she noted while taking her dad’s hand up onto the roof.
“That’s one of the reasons why we didn’t follow you to the city when you moved there.”
“Because you wanted to see the stars?”
“No, because I wanted to have a reason for you to come back to visit us.”
Nikki smiled, her father’s comment making her feel loved. He didn’t say it as a joke, and she knew that he was being honest when he said it.
They both walked steadily up the inclined roof and then laid down on the tiles, just like old times. Nikki then laid her head on her father’s chest. They both just laid there under the open night sky, taking in the beauty of the universe around them. Her father didn’t even say a word, knowing that Nikki would tell him what she needed to say when she was ready.
It took a couple minutes, but finally Nikki spoke calmly. “So, I fell in love with a guy – two actually. But the one I really fell in love with is named Luke. And I blew it, dad. I really did.”
“Oh? How’s that?”
Nikki recounted it all in a rational story, beginning from the moment she’d taken her father’s advice to ask Ryan on a second date up until what made her trudge home in despair just now.
After she was done with the whole tale of events, her father’s first response was a bit surprising. He didn’t give her advice. Instead, he told her a story she’d never known before.
“You know, things between me and your mother weren’t always easy.”
His vagueness peaked Nikki’s interest. “Oh? How so?”
“Well, it wasn’t just one time. The first time, she was engaged to someone else.”
“Really?! I never knew that!”
“Yeah, but I won in the end. I always knew I would.” Without allowing Nikki to laugh at his comment which he intended to be serious, he continued talking. “But as difficult as that was, another time was even more difficult. I almost lost her.”
“How? What do you mean?”
“Well, we both really wanted to have children. Years and years went by, but it wasn’t happening. Oh, don’t worry – you’re not really adopted or anything like that. You eventually happened, and as quite a surprise too – an extremely wonderful surprise.” Nikki’s father patted her head delicately as she laid on him looking up at the stars during their talk. “But those years where we didn’t have you yet were the hardest years of our lives. And of our relationship. I almost lost her.”
Nikki could tell that her father was being uncharacteristically emotional, underscoring the gravity of just how difficult those years were for him. Nikki empathized with him and knew there was much more to this story which he was glossing over, and which she’d never been told before.
A moment of silence followed as they both processed what he was telling her.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
She heard her father sniffle to gain composure before being as direct as his usual jovial self could be. “I tell you this because I didn’t give up. I fought for her, and it’s been worth it ever since. And that’s what you need to do, Nikki. If you really love him. I mean, if you really love him, fight for him.”