“You asshole.” It was more of a growl that ripped from the tiny fireball. Suddenly Blake was on Clayton like a feral cat thirsty for revenge. She jumped up, wrapped her arms around his neck, and fisted his hair.
The sounds that left Clayton were those you would never imagine from a grown man. It was like he was on fire. “It’s just Jell-O, woman. It washes, for fuck’s sake.”
“Red,” he screeched, only Eli did nothing to help him. “Get your woman. Fuck.” Blake was wild and all of us just stood by watching it unfold. Amazed was more like it as she tore into him and he continued to squeal like a baby pig. Loud, high-pitched squeals. “Did you bite me?” Clayton whined, then screamed. I’d guess from her repeating the act. “Holy shit, Eli, she’s fucking biting me.”
“Serves you right.” His chest vibrated with laughter, a wide smile stretched out over his lips. The way Elijah stood proud with his arms crossed over his chest was comical. “Those Chucks are her favorite. You fuck with her shoes, you pay the price. I’m not about to interfere with my girl’s revenge. Unless of course you fight back, then I’ll step in.”
“Motherfu—” Clay’s words turned into a cry. “Stop biting, Jesus, woman.”
Suddenly Blake was lowered to the floor and Clayton jumped back, his arms stretched out before him. “I hope you’ve had your shots.” Seriously, the guy just kept tormenting the wild cat. “If I have rabies―” She lunged and he jumped back, knocking over a lamp.
“When are you gonna learn?” Isaac entered the room, took one look at the shoes buried in Jell-O, and then settled on Clayton. “You know that you are never gonna win. You mess with Blake, you trigger a ripple effect. All of the girls gang up on you, even your own. In the end you are crying like a bitch and they have the upper hand.”
“He’s already crying like a bitch.” I settled back into the couch and held my phone before hitting replay on the video I’d just taken without him knowing. “And everyone is now watching it too.”
Everyone stopped, including Blake as she walked around the couch and stood at my side.
“Up to ninety-two views and growing rapidly. Comments are hilarious too.” Blake leaned in closer. “Listen to the little bitch boy squeal. Oh, and this one.” I pointed to the screen and Blake snickered.
“It’s confirmed Clayton is a pussy, because there is no man I know that can reach that note. #BitchBoy #NoDickClayton.”
I looked back at Clay to find him glaring at me. “You have your own hashtags now, how cute.”
I caught the tail end of his body flying through the air as he tackled me. “You prick!” He placed me in a headlock, but I could barely contain my laughter. He most definitely had the upper hand because I was face down on the couch with his weight pressing me into the cushions further from behind.
I was just about to flip him off of me when I heard his displeased groan and the weight of his body disappeared. But in the aftermath I was showered with a jelly-like substance along my arm and the side of my head.
Blake stood only a few feet away holding her dripping shoes in one hand and a now empty bowl in the other. Clayton was digging in his ear, jumping up and down, shooting daggers at the tiny woman who had once again outwitted him. “It’s just Jell-O,” she said with a smirk, “it washes.” Repeating his earlier statement with a smile, she cocked her hip and dared him to make a move. Of course Eli stood a few feet away, guarding his girl, ready to run to her aid had Clayton furthered the situation at all. One day the guy might learn that messing with Blake was never going to get him anywhere. She had the biggest man in the house on her side ready to bust heads if need be.
Together Blake and Clay glared at one another, neither moving. No words were spoken, only the challenging standoff.
“Holy hell,” Morgan entered the front door and paused, “what did I miss?”
It was the moment that broke the tension-filled stare down and everyone finally took in the crazy that Morgan was seeing. Tipped over lamp and couch cushions tossed around. Jell-O dripping off not only Clayton but me too, and Blake’s shoes. Globs of it piled on the floor around the edge of the couch.
“Jell-O wars,” I finally said, breaking the awkward silence. “We were just about to fill the baby pool and do some wrestling. Wanna join?” Xavier’s nostrils flared and he narrowed his eyes at me. Pushing off the wall, he took a step closer, but Morgan held her hand out to stop him. She maintained his moods so well, the girl had to be a saint.
“You wouldn’t want to challenge me, Jay.”
“And why’s that?”
“Morgan,” Xavier growled, giving her a warning she chose to ignore.
“Because I would embarrass you in front of all your brothers. Getting your ass handed to you by a girl is something a guy never wants to face. You already have so many obstacles to overcome, adding another embarrassment to your plate hardly seems fair.”
Why must the men in this house choose such sassy little shits to love?
“If you and I went to war, you’d cry worse than Clayton, people would video it, it would then be shared throughout social media. Of course they’d use your infamous hashtag so that it would get more hits. Then you would be awarded another suitable one, something like hashtag MaybeTheDickWasFake or hashtag HeHasNoRealDickToSwing.” There were a few snickers of laughter from those standing near, overhearing the hosing Morgan was giving me. “I’d feel bad, though I shouldn’t, because the truth would have come out eventually. You’d end up this lonely guy with four dogs, who picks day-old Doritos off your dirty shirt while watching reruns of The Bachelor, wishing you could get just one glance from a girl as hot as those on the show. And I would be to blame. It would all boil down to the day Morgan whipped the ass of Jay and every single love possibility of yours had to be forced to face the fact that you are in fact a dickless bitch who couldn’t even win against a pint-sized girl like me.”
I stared at her, part of me wanting to come back with a long line of shit, but truth was I was extremely proud. Not only of Morgan but of Xavier for landing a gem like her. The girl was a badass. A take no shit, stand on her on two feet kind of girl.
“I think I’m in love with your girl, X,” I said, offering her a wink. I stood and headed toward the bathroom to wash that sticky shit off me. Mornings, hell days, nights, and all the in between were crazy. You had to always be ready, be alert, because when you least expected it, shit got real.
Chapter Six
Ruby
“I can’t do this.” My hands were shaking, my stomach was in knots. “If I get arrested,” I whisper yelled to Darcy and she rolled her eyes. “My father will—”
“First of all, you are not going to get arrested.” Easy for her to say. She didn’t have an unpaid for nail polish in her purse that she was about to steal. “Second of all, that is why you get a shopping cart, open the top of your purse, and toss it in there. It’s just inside, not hidden, so it’s easier to convince anyone that it was an accident. Though you won’t get caught because look at you.” I looked down at myself and wondered what that could mean. “Who in their right mind would think that a girl wearing khaki capris and loafers would steal anything, especially a bright pink nail polish?”