Chapter One
OLIVER
“Mark called,” my sister says, assessing me above the cup of coffee she’s drinking. I rinse the glass I’m washing and ignore her.
“Oliver, did you hear me? Mark called.”
I raise an eyebrow, “Dixon?” I ask while grabbing the towel on my shoulder and start the process of drying the glass until it squeaks. I haven’t talked to the guy for years but knowing what anniversary is coming up, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was calling to check up on me.
“Do you know a lot of Marks?” No. I don’t.
Even if her red bangs fall into her eyes, I can still see the worry in them.
I liked it better when I was the one worrying about her. When she didn’t have her shit together, and she didn’t have time to pay so much attention to me.
Of course, every year on the anniversary of the passing of my fiancée and unborn child, I’m a little needy, and she’s more attuned to me than herself, but this year she’s more concerned than usual.
I guess me having a child with her assistant wasn’t the best move to prove I was all patched up together. Mainly because said assistant is in love with one of her husband’s bandmates.
But my son is so cute and perfect, I don’t regret a thing.
How could I?
I look at him sleeping in his baby carrier at the end of the bar.
Aito is beautifully innocent.
A perfect soul.
He looks a lot like his mother.
I look at the clock on the wall, still trying to avoid Anna. The new nanny is late, and from what I’ve heard, she’s ugly. Not that it ever stopped me before.
“Ol,” Anna demands my attention, “Mark called me,” she insists. He tried to call me several times in five years, but I never picked up. What is there to say? I left Virginia and didn’t keep in touch with my old SEAL buddies or anyone at Cole Security Forces.
Not after the catastrophe.
Not after falling apart.
Not after lying to them about whose fault it was Elaine died.
When it happened, I said it was an accident.
I didn’t elaborate.
I didn’t explain it.
I was so in shock.
One minute we were engaged, discovering we would become parents and the next I was alone, frantic, my girl dead before my eyes.
I had seen shit during missions and lived a life of danger, but I was never prepared to see the love of my life die instantly on impact and while I couldn’t do anything.
I couldn’t save her.
And it wasn’t an accident.
I’d killed her.
I’d been the reckless one.
I’d been the one at fault.
I packed my life up in Virginia and left. I was done chasing phonies saying they were SEALs. I was done helping Mark and Jackson in their mission to uncover the truth about some of those guys who claimed to be who they weren’t. I was done being part of something that didn’t prepare me to see the love of my life die before my eyes.
“Oliver!”
“I heard you. Mark Dixon called. So what?” I snarl at my sister.
“Elaine’s parents reached out, and they would like you to be there for the memorial they’re having for the five-year anniversary.”
There it is. I knew what Mark calling was all about.
Elaine’s parents reached out…
Dear Pat and Sue. They accepted me as one of their own. They loved me like a son. And I disappeared on them, cut all communication, didn’t even say Elaine was pregnant or that she died because of me.
“They couldn’t call themselves?” So, I could ignore them. Anna sends me one of her unimpressed looks. The one that tells me she knows I’m deflecting.
“You know they don’t have your new number. Don’t play the dumbass with me.”
Yet, Mark had it.
Now that I was part of the entourage of the biggest band on the planet—Dan Darling being my brother-in-law and Lars Trouble, the stepfather of Aito—I had to follow a strict security protocol to ensure the safety of my son and the band. So I had to change my number, again. I did so when moving to New York, five years ago to cut ties. I did it now to protect my son. You could never be too careful. Elaine’s death had taught me so.
“I’m not going back to Virginia, Anna! I’ve avoided that state for five years, and I’ll continue to do so for the rest of my life.”
I couldn’t go back, but I wasn’t ready to tell her so.
She had pestered me about grief counseling and therapy since she’d fallen in love with Dan and decided I needed help.
I didn’t.
I had everything under control.
Mostly.
I wasn’t engaging in any relationship. I was raising my son as a single father, fortnightly. I was working the job of my dreams, having opened my own bar, Absinthe, a few years back and having it become the hangout of Dan and all his friends. I was holding on, making grief my bitch, and for that to continue, I wasn’t setting foot in Virginia.
“Funny, you would say that Le Pew,” I cringe, hearing my call sign and the voice attached to it. “Twilight was very clear that I might need to drag you by the balls, but my sole mission right now is to bring you back to the Old Dominion.”
“Muffin,” I roll my eyes. “What are you doing in New York? Don’t you live in California now?” Muffin, aka Jackson Cole, handsome asshole, CEO of Cole Security Forces, former SEAL stands before me. I could be glad to see him if it wasn’t for the reason he announced. “Traitor,” I tell my sister, who’s smiling at me.
“You know I could never resist Mark,” she shrugs.
“Who can?” Jackson laughs before jumping over the bar and coming to hug me. Jackson and I were never as close as Mark and I used to be, but we were still friends, I guess. Mark was my swim buddy, and even if we never went on a mission together, we hung out quite a bit and were happy to work together once we both left the U.S Navy. My injury didn’t allow me to continue doing what I loved the most, but I became a consultant and stayed in Virginia to still be at the heart of the action.
It was a good life until it became a nightmare.
“So… you’re a dad now, I hear?” Jackson says, his chin pointing toward the carrier while clapping me on the shoulder.
“Yep. I’m terrified.” I laugh, but it falls flat. Jackson and Anna both look at me with worry, and I curse myself for using the wrong term. After what I went through, I can never say I’m scared or feeling any emotions of fear. It creeps people out. “What I mean is that I never thought I would become a father, a single father, and raise a child with someone as opinionated as Naomi.”
“How much can I extort from you so I don’t repeat your words?” Anna smirks, trying to diffuse the tension and care that fills the room.
Anna and I are thick as thieves. Always there for each other. She knows more than anyone. She’s the only one that knew Elaine was pregnant when she died. My sister has saved my ass a number of times even when she’s mad at me because I’ve slept with one of her friends. To be fair, I’ve slept with them all but one. Not my fault, she has surrounded herself with beautiful girls since high school.
“Don’t you have enough money? You have to extort the poor bar owner that I am?”