Not that it matters now. Even if my house still existed, returning to my old life isn’t an option. My daily routine kept me alive as I waited to die. Then, Neri showed up and bewitched me.
Without a routine and Neri, I have nothing. My only choice is to help her return to Nicaragua, even if I lose her in the end. I’ve always been good at forcing myself to take ugly measures to achieve something necessary. I did it for my mother and then for Priscilla. Now I’ll do it for Neri James.
≫FIVE SPENT SHELLS≪
KAI
Neri wants to check in at the hotel, claiming she’ll draw less attention. My sister greatly underestimates how much she stands out in this small-town atmosphere. Choosing not to argue with her, I’m tired after driving most of the night.
Around one this morning, Anika started crying. She never calmed down completely and eventually threw up her dinner. At four a.m., she began begging for a bed. “Mama, bed?” she must have asked a hundred times.
My heart hurts when Anika cries. She’s so confused about her life now. I took her away from a bad place, but she hasn’t settled into a new one. She was just getting used to Cobain’s safe house when we left. Last night, she didn’t sleep well. Tonight, she clearly can’t wrap her little mind around why she’s sleeping in the car.
By the time we pull up to the entrance of the hotel and Neri climbs out to get us a room, I’m in a terrible mood and desperate to get my girls out of this damn vehicle.
Driving through dangerous territory in the dark prevented me from checking on them. Now that I can, I find Sunny cradling her daughter and staring exhausted at the top of Anika’s head.
“I love you,” I say, gaining her attention. “We’re one day farther away from the compound and the Children of the Black Sun.”
Sunny surprises me by offering an easy smile. “You look tired.”
I reach over the seat and run my fingers along her cheek. Then I do the same to Anika when the child looks at me.
“Bed, Kai?” she whimpers before remembering the word I taught her yesterday, “Please.”
“Soon, Ani. Neri is getting our key. Then we’ll sleep.”
The child shudders, so disoriented that she doesn’t even clutch her toys. She only wants her mother, who she holds in a death grip.
Once Neri returns with the key, I pull the SUV around back. A few minutes later, Cobain parks nearby and carries Robin to a grassy patch. After the dog does his business, we head inside the building.
At five in the morning, no one is in the parking lot or hallways. The next twenty minutes pass with a flurry of activity. Sunny cleans up Anika in the bathroom. Neri and I drag in supplies from the SUV. Cobain feeds the dog and fills a bowl of water in the bathroom. Neri also messages our parents to let them know we’re safe at our new location.
Finally, Anika gets her wish and cuddles in bed with Sunny on one side and me on the other. Neri crawls in the second bed and pats for Cobain to join her. I’m glad he won’t be sitting up in a chair all night. We need real rest before we take on the next part of our trip. The safe house awaiting us could very likely be enemy territory.
But for the next seven hours, the room is quiet. Just after dawn, Robin gets up and sniffs everything. Without opening my eyes, I hear the dog moving around the room. He laps up water and likely lifts his leg somewhere. Still, for an animal unaccustomed to travel, he’s doing well.
The hotel is quiet all morning. Twice, Anika sits up and looks around. When she finds me watching her, the child smiles and returns her head to the pillow. I poke Duck in her arms and smile. Anika grins and wiggles her back against Sunny’s tummy for reassurance. Then she’s asleep again.
Checkout is around noon, but Neri booked the room for two days to ensure no one bothered us.
For the first time since we realized the Children of the Black Sun planned to attack Cobain’s safe house, I feel genuinely calm. The sensation won’t last, of course. There are many more steps between us and my home.
Yet the six of us together in this single room offers a sense of peace.
Even if it’s only the quiet before the storm.
SUNNY
Anika wakes me up by kissing my nose. I open my eyes to find a child that I feel as if I barely know. Last night, she was the same anxious, confused daughter I lived with back at the homestead. Anika didn’t understand the world, and I could only silently soothe her. Today, she’s the newer Anika that Kai created.
Kai kisses her head before leaning over and kissing mine. I can’t imagine waking up to a better sight than them both smiling.
I sit up to find Neri disappearing into the bathroom, and Cobain still in the other bed. Robin lifts his head when we start moving around, but he doesn’t get up. I don’t think he’s ready to start his day.
“I’ll go pick up lunch,” Neri announces after Anika and I finish in the bathroom.
Cobain stops pretending to be asleep and throws the blanket off him. “No. I’ll go.”
“You stand out,” Neri says and strokes his long black hair. “No one looks like you in the entire world.”
Kai frowns at his sister’s reaction to a sleepy Cobain. The siblings’ relationship is very curious to me. I was an only child and was never close to any of the kids at the homestead. Are Kai and Neri normal for siblings?
I wonder again if Anika will ever have a brother or sister. The idea of another child instantly unsettles me. I remind myself Kai would be my baby’s father, and he’s so smart about everything. With him, another child might not feel like a punishment.
Kai wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek. “Do you know how to swim?”
“I’m not sure.”
Rather than becoming annoyed by my non-answer, he smiles and sneaks another kiss. “After lunch, we should check out the indoor pool. Anika might enjoy playing before we get back in the car.”
“She can’t swim.”
Kai’s smile widens. “We’ll stay on the shallow end and help her learn.”
I stare into his golden-brown eyes and nod because I’m once again amazed by how this man is real.
“I’ll get the fucking food,” Cobain growls at Neri.
“You can come with me.”
“Or,” Kai says, interrupting their bickering, “we could order something and have it delivered. That way, no one needs to leave the hotel.”
Neri smiles at her brother and then winks at Cobain. “You should have thought of that.”
“I did.”
Laughing at his expression, Neri begins searching for restaurants while Cobain stomps to the bathroom.
“Are you hungry?” Kai asks Anika, who shakes her head. “Want a cracker?” he asks, and she immediately nods. “What do you say?”
“Please,” Anika giggles because she sees what I do when Kai smiles.
While Neri figures out what to order, Kai and Anika play on the bed. He holds her hands and encourages her to jump. Despite worrying they’re breaking the rules, I say nothing.
Cobain checks the security cameras and looks outside. “When are we leaving?”
“Tomorrow,” Neri announces.
Kai frowns at his sister but keeps hold of Anika’s hands. “What?”