Regaining control, I wipe my eyes and look at Kai. He’s always calm. Not because he doesn’t care. But because he’s smart enough to know me. That’s why he said to breathe and take things slow. He’s peaceful because he knows this isn’t the end of the world. It’s normal. That’s why I’m calmer now. I was always going to get upset, and then I was always going to shut down the lies in my head.
“Can we do more now?” I ask and kiss him.
Kai smiles against my lips, probably knowing I would ask that exact question. He’s so smart. In fact, if he believes we can escape this ugly country and travel to his beautiful one, I should believe him. It makes no sense to me how we can get away from the Children of the Black Sun and the people wanting the bounty. But, an hour ago, I hadn’t known what an orgasm or clitoris were.
After tonight, it’s even more obvious how I need to trust Kai and his dreams.
NERI
Cobain is in a terrible mood tonight, especially after he and I take Robin outside. The entire time, he seethes with rage. I know he worries someone might be watching us. That’s no reason to be so unpleasant, though.
His sour mood is why I make him watch the children’s movie. He deserves to suffer a little after all the frowns he foists on everyone else.
“Why are you such a wet blanket?” I ask when we’re alone in our room.
“Those fuckers could shoot through the door at any moment, but you want me to relax.”
“That’s not why you seethe.”
“Shut up,” he snarls.
Cobain deserves my laughter. Even giggling at his anger, I soothe him by pressing his head against my chest and stroking his jaw. He immediately tries to turn my kind gesture into more sex. I suspect fucking is the only way he knows how to connect with someone. That’s why he’s unable to comfort the dog because sex isn’t an option.
I allow him inside me, but fucking isn’t what I crave. My real goal is to protect him.
“Tomorrow, I want you to hold back while we approach the safe house,” I say as my pussy squeezes at his cock.
“No.”
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I nuzzle his jaw and enjoy the sensation of his body and mine pressed together.
“It’s for your protection and mine.”
“It’s not your job to save me.”
“No, it’s my pleasure to do it,” I taunt, and he thrusts angrily inside me. “Settle down before I hurt you in a way that only a woman with sharp nails can.”
Cobain narrows his dark eyes, ready to challenge me. My pussy gives his cock a gentle squeeze, and he decides fucking is worth putting up with my troublesome mouth.
“Papa told the people that we’re arriving in two cars,” I lie. “If you don’t arrive with us, they’re less likely to attack.”
“Don’t assume they’ll think like you.”
“There’s no way to be sure, but if you hold back, they might hesitate.”
Cobain’s nostrils flare as he wraps me tighter in his arms. “I said no.”
“You need to behave and obey.”
Despite his anger, he fights a smile. “I’m not your pet.”
“You could be.”
“I thought you wanted to marry that piece of shit from Venezuela.”
“I don’t know if I can let you go,” I admit, stroking his back with my nails. “I might want to keep you even if you refuse to be kept.”
Cobain’s face turns unreadable. His anger and amusement disappear. He just stares with his dark eyes. Finally, he spits out, “You’re a fool.”
“Only a fool would think so. You can’t see the truth. But I choose to provide my heart with what it desires, and it craves you, Cobain.”
“I don’t want children.”
“I don’t care.”
“Because you’ll talk me into whatever you want.”
I feel a smile grace my face. “Well, there’s that.”
“I refuse to hang back while you take on three killers.”
“Four if you count Jonas.”
Cobain studies my face. “Who the fuck is this guy that you’re so scared of?”
Though I consider lying again to Cobain, I need him to be smart tomorrow. His death will destroy me.
“My father hides the man’s identity. Jonas might be someone willing to kill you.”
“And Daddy wouldn’t think to mention that?”
“It’s not personal,” I say, stroking his cheek.
“You mean, the part where he wants me dead?”
“He doesn’t want you dead,” I whisper and hold him closer, “but if he feels Jonas is better suited to protecting Kai and me, well, then, yes, Papa will sacrifice you.”
Cobain leans forward and rests me on my back. He hesitates while enjoying the sight of my body. Soon, though, he moves faster inside me.
“I want you to survive, and I want me to survive,” I say, stroking the thick hairs on his broad chest. “You don’t really care about that first part. That’s why I should be in charge. Between us, I’m smarter.”
“And if they still open fire?”
“You can die avenging me.”
Cobain grunts at the thought and thrusts with more force.
“My pussy is not your enemy,” I say after he batters the poor thing to completion.
Laughing angrily, he rests on his side and cups my crotch. “I’ll make you come, so we’ll be even.”
“I don’t want to come,” I say, swatting at his hand.
“What do you want?”
“For you to let me handle the situation tomorrow and keep you alive.”
“You didn’t care when I planned to die at my safe house.”
“I did care,” I mutter, slapping his hand harder and finally getting it away from my sore pussy. I roll to my side and force him to hold my gaze. “I wanted you to live, but you acted as if you didn’t care. I thought I couldn’t save you. Now I understand that you’ll bow to my will. How can I not make you do so if it’ll save you?”
Cobain grits his teeth, but doesn’t speak. What can he say? He knows I’m right. Even if he didn’t, I’m far more patient and will win in the end.
“This man tomorrow is meant to help us, and I will let him help us,” I say, still stroking his chest. “But if he’s a threat to you, I will kill him.”
“What about your daddy?” he mocks, wanting to be angry because bowing to my will makes him feel weak.
“Papa doesn’t know how I feel about you. I don’t think he’d care either. Only Kai and I matter to him. He’ll burn down the rest of the world to protect us.”
The rage in Cobain’s eyes dissolves into something else. Perhaps, he understands my father’s need to protect those who own his heart. I have no doubt Cobain would die for me. That’s been clear since our first night together.
The question is if he’s willing to live for me. Death was his lover long before I entered his life. Though unsure I’ll ever be able to compete with it, I’m stubborn enough to try.
≫SIX SPENT SHELLS≪