“Mama,” I say and kneel down.
Like Sunny, my sweet mother hides in her head when afraid. I say her name again, and she suddenly sees me. A smile blooms across her beautiful face, and she sets down the weapon and toy before throwing her arms around me.
“Kai,” she says, stroking my hair. “Where’s Neri?”
“Outside, keeping Papa from killing her lover.”
Mama takes a moment to figure out what I’m saying. She blinks a few times and then smiles. “Oh, that’s nice.”
“Mama, this is Sunny and Ani,” I say, helping her up.
My mother has never met any of the women I’ve dated. None were important enough to bring home to my very private parents. When Mama doesn’t have experience with a situation, she tends to fall silent and hopes no one pushes her.
Though Sunny hides her feelings, Anika is curious about the snow globe. I show my child how it works, and she tries herself. Anika’s giggling awakens a smile on Sunny’s face, and Mama glows at the sight of my little girl.
“She’s so small,” Mama whispers and caresses Anika’s floppy bangs.
“She got her first toys just a week ago,” I say and gesture for us to sit on the ground where they can play. “Ani, can you show Duck and Doll to my mama?”
Opening her bag, my little girl babbles wildly about her friends. Mama doesn’t understand her any better than I do, but that’s not the point. I need the three of them to relax and get to know each other in a way I thought couldn’t happen until we arrived in Playa Cielo.
COBAIN
Life is brief. I’ve killed too many people to think differently. Taking a life is so effortless. Humans are too fragile. Even ones as vibrant as Neri.
The moment her SUV goes on without me, I struggle to breathe. I can’t see shit from where I’m at. Gripping the security tablet, I curse the cameras on the Suburban for offering such a poor view. I can’t tell what’s happening!
The quiet afternoon awakes with the sound of gunfire. In frustration, I nearly snap the tablet. Is Neri dead? Injured? I imagine her dark eyes staring at the sky, no life left in them.
I curse in my native tongue. That’s how far gone I feel. I’ve reverted to the child I was when I watched my mother die. I barely spoke English back then. Now I can’t remember the words to express my rage in any language except the one I was born into.
I remember how Neri lectured me over speaking more and working as a team. Regaining my English skills long enough to growl into the radio, I demand to know what’s happening.
Neri’s voice does little to soothe me. She sounds afraid. Unharmed, but scared about what comes next.
Her sleek figure appears in front of the Suburban’s cameras. Kai joins her. After years of training together, they move as one. I notice a man shadowed in the house’s doorway, but the fucking camera isn’t pointing where I need it to be. Frustrated, I again nearly break the tablet.
Why am I hiding? Neri fears for me when she’s the inexperienced one. Oh, sure, she told me stories about her kills in Nicaragua. Good for fucking her! At her age, I thought I knew everything too.
I can’t fail Neri. If she dies, there’s no moving away and starting over. She isn’t Priscilla or my mother. I can’t recover from my failure. They were cold women consumed by the evil they relished. Neri is a single light in an entire world of darkness. She’s the only beautiful thing I can see. Even the kid and Sunny are just noise. I can’t feel them. Only Neri exists.
On the camera, her body language reeks of fear. Is she worried about the figure in the doorway or scared for her lover? I hate that I’m here when I need to be there.
But if I race toward them, I could distract Neri and Kai from their target. The only thing worse than letting her die would be to cause her death.
If she dies, I don’t think I can put a bullet in my head. Suicide would be too quick. After allowing her light to go out, I’ll need to suffer for eternity.
Then something shifts on the camera footage. Neri and Kai lower their weapons and move as one toward the figure. I’m so fucking sick with rage that I take a minute to realize they’re hugging the asshole. I get a glimpse of his scarred face and know I’m fucked.
Gator. In no universe can I be the boyfriend. That’s how Neri sees me, though. I put up with her fantasies for the same reason I put up with the kid, Sunny, and Kai. I need Neri, and she comes with strings attached.
And one of those strings is a killer who’s returned to the US to spill blood.
Neri alerts me that the location is clear. I’m forced to drive to the safe house where she and her daddy walk over to a dead body. I spot Kai taking Sunny and the kid inside.
I open the Yukon’s back door, but Robin refuses to climb out. Having the dog act as a distraction would be helpful. Instead, the tired, carsick shithead just closes his eyes and returns to his nap. Fucker!
Giving up, I strap a rifle on my back and march toward the angry man and his gorgeous daughter.
Gator is what I expect from his reputation. In Neri’s family videos that I only glimpsed, he seemed older, sedate, fucking soft. Standing in front of me, though, he creates an imposing figure. Sure, I could easily defeat him in battle. No doubt, his daughter would absolutely hate me if I hurt one hair on her precious daddy’s head. I’m so fucking screwed.
Gator glares at me. I stare passively back. At this rate, we’ll never speak again. I sense silence is a smart move. There is no conversation that changes the fact that I’m fucking his little girl.
“You can call him Jake,” Neri tells me, doing that thing where she ignores obvious anger or awkwardness. “Papa, this is Cobain.”
“What’s his first name?”
“Cobain,” I say.
“Never.”
“I love him,” Neri announces, choosing this very moment to snip my balls and throw salt on her father’s wounded heart.
“Never,” Jake says again.
Neri reaches over to pat my chest. “Papa was Jonas. You’re safe.”
“Uh-huh,” I mutter, wondering if he’ll shoot me in front of his daughter or wait until she turns her back.
“What’s the plan now, Papa?” Neri asks and then pats his shoulder. “Papa? Are we leaving now? Should I get Mama?” When he refuses to react, she repeats, “Papa?” Apparently, hearing this word over and over breaks through his rage shield.
“The weather prevents us from leaving tonight,” he finally says. “Scouts from a nearby compound keep making drive-bys,” he says, inhaling harshly. “We need to dispose of the bodies, hide your cars, and lock down the site before the storm arrives.”
“They’re called the Patriot Hammers,” I state, knowing we’re in their territory. “Are they suicidal enough to hit one of the Company’s safe houses?”
Jake sneers at me. “They’re ugly men who shave their bumpy heads and tattoo swastikas on their skulls, then turn around and whine that they can’t find women to join their Nazi cult. We should assume they’re stupid enough to do just about anything.”
When Neri smiles warmly at her father’s raging face, I know I’m fucked. He hates me. She adores him. There’s no way I can remain in her life with him around.