Frightened now, Mama holds me and whispers Papa’s name. I stroke her back, searching for the words to reassure her.
“Do you like Kai’s hair?” I ask.
“Kai’s hair is blond too,” she says, holding me tighter. “Why?”
“To fool the bad guys.”
“You’re smart like your papa.”
Mama notices Anika and Sunny again. The child interests her, but she doesn’t know how to react to Kai’s woman. Sunny still stares at the door, waiting for him to return.
“I cut Anika’s hair,” I say, wiggling free of my mother’s grip and crawling to the child. “And Sunny’s too.”
Anika suddenly realizes her mother’s unhappy, and Kai isn’t around. Now wearing a pout, she’ll probably cry soon. If she does, Mama will fall apart and then Sunny. There’s no way I can deal with them crying when I’m already stressed about what Papa might do to Cobain.
Except as the only non-emotionally damaged person in the room, I have no choice but to take charge.
“Let’s get off the floor,” I say and stand. “Anika, can you show my mama videos on your tablet?”
The girl stops pouting and frowns. “Mama?”
“This is my mama,” I say, tugging my mother upright and hugging her. “This is Kai’s mama.”
Not understanding, a grinning Anika hugs her mother. “Mama.”
“Okay, how about we call my mother, Mama Mia,” I say, corralling them toward the bed, “and we call your mother, Mama.”
Though I smile at the Mama Mia reference, none of them gets it. Anika stands by the bed, unsure about my mom.
“Can you say ‘Mama Mia’?” I ask Anika.
She yells out the words and then waits to see if Sunny will react positively.
“Where’s Duck?” Sunny asks in barely more than a whisper.
The child eyes her mother, uneasy about the mood in the room.
Feeling the three of them inching closer to meltdowns, I suggest, “Mama Mia can look at Duck while Anika looks at the snow globe.”
The next few minutes are full of tension since Anika doesn’t want to give her toys to a stranger, and Mama gets overly focused on the door where Sunny stares. Normally, I could remain calm, but I feel myself losing control. I wish the three of them would take a break from their drama, so I could help Cobain.
Except they’re not normal. One day, Anika might be. She’s still young enough to forget the insane bile taught to her by the cult. Sunny might also get past much of her programming and abuse. There are times where her reactions are so normal that I can forget where she spent a large part of her life.
But my sweet mama will never be okay.
And neither will Papa, who is outside with another man incapable of shedding his past. They’re temperamental creatures that react violently when agitated.
I should be outside, keeping them from killing each other. I’m the one who can distract Papa, and Cobain cares for me while I’m not so sure he does Kai. So, why am I in this room?
Because I’m a woman, meaning I should know how to soothe other women. Yet Kai’s the one with that talent. I shouldn’t be here. I need to be with my father and lover, ensuring neither does something horrible that can’t be undone.
“It’s okay,” Sunny says, patting my hand.
I’m so startled by her touch that I pull away and frown at her. Her gaze lowers, submissive under the weight of a stronger person’s anger.
“You’re worried about Cobain,” she whispers, chin against her chest, showing weakness, so I won’t lash out.
Surprising Sunny, I hug her. “Yes, I am. He has no one to care about him.”
Sunny adjusts to the situation and hugs me like Kai taught her to do when someone’s upset. I feel Mama stroking my head, and Anika says, “hug” and gives me Duck so I’ll feel better.
“I want to go home,” I whisper. “I want to stand on the beach with the people I love.”
Mama suddenly gets up and digs through her suitcase. She returns with her case filled with a dozen little snow globes. Anika gasps with delight and pulls on Sunny’s shirt.
“Mama, look,” she whispers, using her words more and more easily.
My mother hands us each a snow globe and then shakes her own. “It makes the world prettier.”
We all shake ours and watch the snow float. Though only a minor distraction from my worried heart, it’s one I truly needed.
If my broken mother can concentrate on the small beauties in life, I hope the men outside can do the same. At the very least, my brother might act as their snow globe, distracting Papa and Cobain.
KAI
My father’s long wild hair gives him a beast-like appearance, which only worsens when the wind picks up, and he locks his dark gaze on Cobain. I know my sister wants me to run interference between the men, but so far, they’ve barely glanced at each other.
Until my father suddenly focuses a lifetime of hate on Cobain. It’s as if he’s attempting to drill a rage-hole through the back of the man’s head.
Cobain, of course, pretends to be oblivious. He does the same thing when Neri watches him in her lovestruck way. I know he’s very aware of my father’s every move. Two large, aggressive men can never remain blind to each other’s actions.
Putting on a show of indifference, Cobain watches Robin sniff wildly around the yard.
“Are there dogs here?” I ask my father in Spanish.
“There’s a fancy, wooden kennel on the other side of the house. Steve put the dogs away when we arrived.”
“What is the plan for the safe house? We can’t destroy it like the last one if it belongs to the Arizona Moving Company.”
“Tomorrow,” Papa says, still speaking in Spanish, “we’ll dump this one here in the pit with the others and leave for the airport.”
Cobain’s back is to us when my father mentions killing him. He turns around and says in Spanish, “You’ll need to erase the security footage before you go.”
Papa clearly didn’t expect for Cobain to understand him. He frowns at me as if I should have warned him.
“We’re not killing him, and he isn’t killing us,” I announce, annoyed with their need to play these games. “Neri’s heart matters to both of you, so stop behaving like children.”
My father doesn’t react to my words. He still watches Cobain, who turns his back again.
“I’ll move the supplies inside,” Cobain says, walking away.
Papa watches him go and then turns to me. “I don’t want him coming with us.”
“Neri loves him.”
“No, she doesn’t,” Papa says, dismissively. “She’s confused because he helped her. Your sister’s heart is fragile.”
“Wait, are you really saying that Sunny’s only with me because I saved her? Because I don’t think you truly believe Neri is so easily confused by her feelings.”
“I meant what I said.”
“Papa,” I murmur, softening my tone, “you know how many men chased Neri back home. None of them challenged her. She didn’t see in them what she sees in Cobain.”
“And what’s that?”