‘Yeah,’ Bev says. ‘That would be great.’ I nod too.
So he disappears and Bev and I sit down on the hardest chairs known to man.
She gives me a look. ‘What are you doing with the Hot Mayor?’
‘We were having a pub dinner.’
‘And I called you in the middle of it?’
‘That doesn’t matter at all. I’m glad I can be here. Tell me about Alan?’
‘I feel such a shit,’ Bev sniffles. ‘He should have been with me, not on his own. I didn’t believe him when he said he wasn’t feeling well. I thought he was in a mood. What a cow I am.’
‘Hardly. You’d just had a little skirmish. The timing was awful, but you can’t blame yourself.’
‘I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose him.’ That starts her crying again.
‘You won’t,’ I assure her. ‘I’m not an expert on this, but I’m sure it’s like a warning. Now that he’s getting medical attention, they can sort it all out.’
She grabs my hands and wrings it. ‘I hope to God that you’re right.’
And we sit there holding each other tightly.
A few minutes later Matt brings us tea and I say, ‘You really don’t have to wait. I really appreciated the lift. If you want to leave, we’ll be fine.’
‘I’m going nowhere. If Lucas is OK holding the fort at the farm, I wouldn’t dream of leaving you here. I’ll stay as long as it takes.’
I look at him, grateful for his kindness. ‘Thank you.’
So we drink our machine tea and watch the door anxiously until a nurse appears. ‘You can go through now. Alan’s comfortable.’
‘I’ll wait here,’ Matt says. ‘Take as long as you want.’
Bev and I go through to the ward. Alan is in the end bed, propped up with pillows. His face is grey and he looks older than his years.
My friend flings herself onto him. ‘You bloody drama queen,’ she blurts out. ‘You had me scared to death.’
Alan holds her closely and when, eventually, they let each other go, we sit by his bedside.
‘I’ve got to stay in.’ His voice sounds gruff, emotional.
Bev looks horrified. ‘How long for?’
‘Few days,’ he says. ‘Tests and stuff.’
‘Tests?’ My friend is close to tears again.
‘To be on safe side.’
‘I want you home with me as soon as possible, you big soft lump.’
All words of love.
‘I’m fine.’ He pats Bev’s hands. ‘Don’t you worry.’
This is possibly the most I’ve ever heard Alan talk.
We stay for a while until it’s clear that Alan is worn out and needs to sleep. His eyes close and Bev kisses his head tenderly. ‘See you in the morning, big guy.’
We tiptoe out, both weary but relieved that Alan is OK. Matt is still waiting patiently.
‘He’s going to be all right?’ he asks.
Bev nods. ‘Thank God. I don’t think I’ll sleep a wink tonight worrying about him though.’
‘Take off as much time as you need,’ I say. ‘Alan’s more important than anything.’
‘Thanks, Molly. You’re a pal.’
In Matt’s car we follow Bev to her cottage to make sure she’s home safely before heading back to the farm. I’m tired down to my bones.
He stops at the gate and I say, ‘I’m knackered, but in desperate need for some tea. Do you want a quick cuppa?’
‘Yes. I want to make sure you’re safely settled too.’
Aurora’s car is parked in the yard and we pull up next to it. Yet all the lights in the caravan are off. We go inside, and of course, the dogs go mad and I shush their barking.
Lucas’s bedroom door opens and he sticks his head out. ‘Hey.’ He rubs his hands through his tousled bed hair. ‘How’s Alan?’
‘OK,’ I say. ‘He’ll live to fight another day. He’s had a mini stroke. They’re keeping him in hospital for a few more days.’
‘Shit.’
‘It could be a lot worse,’ I assure him. ‘Matt and I are going to have some tea. Do you want anything?’
‘No. By the way, Aurora’s here.’
‘I saw her car.’ I don’t know if this is appropriate, but I can’t have a conversation about it now. What do parents do in this situation? Her parents, I assume, are all right with it, but then she’s older than Lucas.
‘I’ll say goodnight, then.’
Matt holds up a hand. ‘Night, mate.’
‘Night, night, Lucas.’
He ducks back into his room and I sigh as he shuts the door.
‘He’s growing up too fast,’ I say to Matt. ‘Do all parents want to keep their offspring as children?’
‘That’s beyond my paygrade,’ Matt admits. ‘As I said, the joys of parenting have, so far, eluded me. I’d love kids though. Maybe one day.’
‘I’m finding it tough.’ I need Shelby’s input and he’s rarely here to give it.
‘Do you think you and Shelby will have your own children?’
‘No.’ It sounds sadder than I expected. ‘Shelby doesn’t want any more. I guess it’s a big gap to think about starting again when your son is almost a man.’
Even though Lucas can be a pain in the backside some days, I feel my life is so much richer for having him in it, and it’s only now that I’ve begun to think that I would have liked children of my own too. Previously, it was something that had never been on the cards. As you know, my relationships with the opposite sex have been few and far between. None of them struck me as potential father material. Yet, now that I have finally found someone to love, Shelby has made it very clear that he’s done his bit and that becoming a daddy again isn’t on the cards for him in the future. And I get that. So it looks like Lucas will be my one and only chance to satisfy my maternal instincts.
While I’m waiting for the kettle to boil, I slide a few slices of bread in the toaster too. I need a bit of comfort food to set me right and it seems like a lifetime ago since I ate dinner. I pile on lots of butter and heap it on a plate on the table between us. Matt and I pick at it.
‘I’ll take the rest of the week off,’ Matt says. ‘I need to call the office in the morning, but they’ll understand.’
‘You said you had lots of commitments,’ I remind him.
‘I do, but nothing that can’t wait. This is important.’
‘I can manage.’
He smiles at me and it brings me close to tears. I’ve been strong for Bev, but now I want to cry. ‘I’m sure you can, but I can also help. If you’ll let me.’
‘I don’t like to abuse your kindness.’
‘I offered,’ he says. ‘You’ve simply got to say yes.’
‘If you can, that would really take the pressure off me.’
‘No problem. I’ve still got a week of leave I was going to write off, so now I’ll take it. I’ll make a few calls in the morning, then I’ll be here as soon as I can.’
‘I can’t thank you enough.’