‘Hopefully, Alan will be back on his feet soon. Until then, I’m sure I can help you here.’
We finish our tea and toast, then Matt takes his leave. He stands at his car door while I open the gate for him. He kisses my cheek. ‘Tomorrow is another day,’ he says. ‘It will all be OK.’
And he is such a calming influence that I fully believe him.
Chapter Forty-Five
Aurora is at the stove frying mushrooms when I get back from feeding the animals. She’s wearing her pants, quite small ones, and a T-shirt, also quite small. I have no idea where to look.
‘Morning,’ she says, quite unfazed at being found nearly naked in my kitchen.
‘Morning,’ I say and widen my eyes in disapproval at Lucas who is also just in his pants and T-shirt – though they do cover a bit more.
He is oblivious to my secret eye signals – or pretends he is – and says, ‘Morning.’
‘Do you want some mushrooms, Molly?’ Aurora asks, pleasantly. ‘There’s plenty.’
‘No, thanks. I had breakfast before I went out. I’ve just come back for some gloves.’ I also wanted a word with Lucas about Aurora staying over, but that will clearly have to wait.
‘Have you heard from Bev?’ Lucas asks.
‘Yes. Alan’s OK. Thank goodness. He’s still in hospital for today and she’s going in to see him later. The mayor is coming here to help us while Bev has a few days off.’
‘Cool. I’ll have brekky and I’ll be with you.’ Aurora in her underwear comes to sit next to him. She twines her slender leg round Lucas’s.
I wonder if youngsters have no shame or decorum these days, and then realise I’m sounding very middle-aged so shut myself up.
‘I’ve got to get to college,’ Aurora says sweetly. ‘Time and textiles waits for no one.’ She forks her food delicately into her mouth while batting her eyelashes at me.
There’s absolutely nothing to dislike about her and, yet, dislike her I do. I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something off. I’m sure of it.
I grab my gloves. ‘See you later,’ I say. ‘Wrap up, Lucas. It’s freezing out there. I had to break the ice off the water troughs this morning.’
‘Brrrr.’ Aurora does a mock shiver.
Perhaps she’d be warmer if she put some clothes on.
I bang out of the door and collect the dogs who are waiting patiently. There’s stuff to do before the students arrive, but I head out across the fields. Stomping my niggling thoughts away. She’s not right for Lucas. She’s too old, too worldly wise, too . . . I don’t know.
The fields are hard with frost, the tree branches glisten with it in the weak sunshine, the sky is milky pale. The frozen grass crunches beneath my boots and the dogs make zig-zag tracks where they run. It soothes my soul. Sort of.
When I get back to the yard, Aurora’s car has gone and has been replaced by the mayor’s. I go up to the barn and find him and Lucas looking at Alan’s work in progress. Some kind of backdrop for the nativity.
‘Morning,’ I say to Matt. ‘I really do appreciate your being here.’ He’s wearing a well-loved overall and a beanie hat and looks younger than his years. I get an unexpected rush of affection for him which startles and comforts me all at once.
‘Looking forward to getting stuck in,’ he says before I have time to analyse my feelings. Probably just as well. ‘Thought we’d finish this and then the students could paint it if you’ve nothing else planned for them.’
‘Sounds like a good idea and we’re only a few in number today.’ I think we’ve got six kids here and they’re some of our better behaved students, thankfully. We’re probably in for a thoroughly nice day. However, I’ve probably jinxed it by saying that. I’m sure we could manage without Bev and Alan for a few days, perhaps even longer, but it’s good to have the mayor’s reassuring presence here. It feels as if I’m not shouldering this alone.
‘I’ll go back to the tea room and see them all in.’ I’ll also be on lunch duty today, so I need to check what we’ve got on the menu. Bev is usually organised at least a week ahead and it’s all written down on our kitchen chalk board, so I’ve just got to follow instructions. Instead of staying with the mayor, Lucas starts to follow me.
‘I need a word,’ he says.
‘OK.’ I need a word too. I have to set some boundaries about him sleeping here with Aurora until I’ve fully discussed it with Shelby. I have no idea whether he’d be absolutely against it or whether, these days, it’s something that’s accepted. Whichever way, the decision has to be his father’s, not mine.
We walk down through the barn and as we do, I spot one of the sheep looking a bit different to usual. If I’m not mistaken, Fluffy looks decidedly fluffier.
I stop and lean on the gate. ‘Does Fluffy look fatter to you?’ Climbing over, I go to feel the sheep’s stomach. Yes, there’s definitely a milk sack there. Underneath all that fluff, I hadn’t spotted the changes. But changes there definitely are.
‘Oh, Fluffy,’ I say with a puff of breath. ‘What have you been up to?’ I turn to Lucas. ‘She’s definitely with child. No idea how.’
‘Usual way?’ Lucas says.
‘Yeah, but we’ve had Anthony the Anti-Social Sheep’s ‘gentleman’s things’ removed to try to make him more pleasant and he’s usually the main culprit.’
‘Virgin birth? They’re quite the thing at this time of year.’
‘Ha, ha.’ I am perplexed though. ‘I didn’t think our other rams had “introduced” themselves to any of our ladies. Just goes to show what happens when you’re not looking.’
It’s those long, dark nights in the barn with nothing to do.
Climbing back out of their pen, I say, ‘We’ll have to keep an eye on her. It looks like she’s not got too long to go.’ I rub my hands together happily. That’s given me a lovely lift. There’s nothing like a baby lamb to make the heart melt. ‘Yay! We’re going to have a baby!’
‘That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about,’ Lucas says, kicking at the hay on floor.
‘Had you noticed too?’
He looks at me appalled. ‘What? The sheep? No.’
‘Then . . . ?’ And, a moment too late, the penny drops. So does my stomach. And my heart. And my spirits. ‘Oh, Lucas.’
‘You should be pleased,’ he says fiercely. ‘I am.’
I need to sit down, drink hot, sweet tea, put a cushion over my head. Instead, I continue to stare at Lucas, unspeaking.
‘Say something,’ he prompts. ‘Anything!’
‘Oh, Lucas.’ My head is shaking from side to side and I can’t stop it. Anything but this.
We stand looking at each other. Me growing paler as I consider the implications, Lucas getting redder as he waits for my response.
But I have no words, nothing. Shelby will be furious. Of course he will. And I’m – supposedly – Lucas’s guardian. How can I have let this happen on my watch?
I look again at Lucas. He looks thrilled and terrified in equal measures. A child yet a man. Oh, God. He needs my support now more than ever.