His silence seemed to mock her.
Truth be told, she had not even meant to say it, but his opinion of her… Well, it rankled that he could not see that she was not that childish.
She frowned down at the ground in dismay. Or perhaps what really worried her was not that Everly thought her so silly and childish, but that she was starting to think that way about herself.
How could she have been so foolish? How could she have wasted so much time over a man who forgot her in a matter of months?
“Sarah…” Her name came out on a sigh. “To be sheltered, to be naive about the more nefarious aspects of this world…” He sighed again, but his gaze was still fixed on the landscape before them. “It is not a fault, it’s a blessing. It is a testament to how well you were loved and protected by those around you.” He turned to face her then and the heat in his eyes left her breathless. “I just wish I could have spared you from discovering that not everyone is as honest and forthright as you are.”
Sarah found herself holding her breath as those words did something to her—silly as it might seem, she felt as though she could actually feel them stitching up the broken pieces, helping to put back together what Stallworth had broken.
Not her heart, she realized with a start. Stallworth had not broken her heart. But he had shattered something. Her innocence, maybe, or just her complete and unshakeable faith in herself.
The thought made her shiver and she hugged herself tighter.
“You’re freezing,” he murmured beside her.
That was the only warning she had before his arm wrapped around her, tugging her close to his side. She burrowed into his warmth on instinct, as if cuddling up against this man were the most natural thing in the world.
As if...as if it was where she belonged.
She shut her eyes tight and let out a huff of exasperation at her own romantic foolishness.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
Wrong? Yes. Something was clearly very wrong with her if she could go from harboring hopes of marriage to Stallworth one moment to this feeling the next.
She shook her head. How could she explain this feeling when she did not even understand it herself? It was so much more complex than anything she’d experienced before.
“Sarah,” he prompted.
“I’ll be fine,” she said. “I just needed some time to sort out my thoughts, that’s all. Thank you, my lord.” She used the address as much for her benefit as his. She needed a reminder this was her brother’s friend. Not hers.
His hand stroked her arm to warm her. “At this point, call me Theo. And you did wonderfully in there.”
Theo. She smiled at the name and the praise. “So did you.”
His gaze shifted to her and she could have sworn she felt it, another source of heat against her skin. “That’s not what I meant. I meant...you handled yourself with grace and decorum. Even though it could not have been an easy morning for you with everything you went through last night, you made sure that Marigold and Max had the ceremony of their dreams.”
She was speechless in the face of his praise.
But then he added, “I’m proud of you.”
She stiffened. There it was. The patronizing older brother tone she so abhorred. With a clarity that took her breath away, she realized she did not want this man to be brotherly. How could he still feel that way after last night? “Because I did not rant and rave? Because I did not steal the attention on Marigold’s special day by bursting into tears and causing a scene?”
Her voice was a little too sharp, too bitter. When he did not immediately respond, she glanced up and caught the warmth and affection in his eyes.
“No,” he said. “That was not what I meant.”
She swallowed this thick sensation. Oh drat. Now was not the time to give into her emotions. “Then what did you mean?”
He sighed, and one corner of his mouth hitched up in a rueful smile. “Just that...I have been harsh with you in the past, and for that I am sorry. I know very well that you have grown into a mature, dignified young lady.”
She blinked up at him, the tension in her stomach easing. “You do?”
He nodded slowly, his gaze moving over her face, taking in every facet of her from the wisps of hair at her temple to...her lips. She inhaled quickly and held her breath as his gaze lingered a little too long on her lips.
Was he remembering too?
“What I said before,” he continued. “About you being naive and sheltered. I meant that. There is a difference between being innocent and being childish. I am sorry I confused the two.”
Her heart seemed to twist in her chest at those words. She wished they didn’t mean so much. She desperately wished they did not make her ache with longing for...what?
She tore her gaze away.
What was this longing? This desperate sensation when he was near? She did not know.
Or at least...she could not bring herself to say.
The silence seemed to thicken and grow between them until at last she said, “I think I prefer it when you’re a sanctimonious beast.”
He stiffened and then let out a laugh that warmed her more thoroughly than any fire ever could. “Is that so?”
She nodded, tilting her chin up so she could face him. “When you are so kind like this, so understanding, it’s…” She wet her lips as she searched for the word to describe the chaos he stirred inside her. “It’s disconcerting.”
His gaze had shifted to her lips again, but only for a heartbeat. Then he was meeting her gaze head-on and for the life of her she could not read what he was feeling when he murmured, “I know the feeling.”
Did he? she wondered. Did he feel it too? Or... A new thought had her dropping her gaze, pulling away slightly.
Or was he referring to his feelings for Lady Evelyn? The woman whom he’d loved.
A flash of irritation had her tightening her hands into fists. That cursed story. She almost wished he hadn’t told her about his first love. Not because she was jealous…
A surge of something toxic and ugly gave her pause.
Oh all right, perhaps she was a little jealous of this woman who had captured the great and mighty Everly’s attention.
But no, it was the story itself that she despised. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it all night or even this morning. When her mind hadn’t been conjuring memories of his kiss, or reliving every look and every gesture, she was thinking about that story.
She narrowed her eyes, glaring at the beautiful snowy scene before her.
That story had been the start of it. This...softening she was feeling toward Everly. She risked a peek up at his handsome profile and her heart lurched.
All right, fine. Perhaps this softening toward him had started before that, with his kindness. His understanding. But the story had not helped matters.
Hearing him admit to his own folly in love, knowing that he was capable of such sweet emotions…
It had been sympathy, that was all. Some traitorous part of her mind chose that moment to call up a vivid memory of the feel of his lips against hers. The heat and the passion and the…
Oh heavens. She had no idea what those other sensations were. Or that feeling. The one that had made her heart feel whole and her entire body feel like it had finally come home.
What was that feeling? She shut her eyes tight. Whatever it was, it certainly was not mere sympathy. It was something else. Something she’d never felt before.