His shock began to fade and what was left was ugly. So ugly.
“How dare you?” she repeated, her hands shaking at her sides as rage and fear left her drained. “I deserve better. Your bride-to-be deserves better.”
“You don’t even know the girl,” he started.
“I don’t need to.” She straightened to her full height. “Any lady deserves better than you.”
His lips curved into a sneer. “Oh, I see.” His skin turned a mottled red as he dropped any pretense of kindness or love. “Everly’s gotten into your head now, has he?”
Her brows drew together in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“You sound just like him,” he said, walking backward, his sneer making her stomach churn with unease.
“Just like...who?”
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what he did back then.” He sniffed, his eyes hooded and filled with resentment. “He caught me trying to meet up with you that night and gave me the whole speech, much prettier than you just did.” His mocking tone made her ill. “He talked all about how no matter what I did to you, he’d never let me marry you. That he’d make sure you were never mine.”
She blinked in shock. She’d known Everly had seen Mr. Stallworth that night, she knew that he’d run him off…
“He promised he’d never let us be happy, so of course I moved on. Can you blame me?”
Her insides churned, her heart ached, but she still managed to whisper. “Yes. Yes, I can.”
“Sarah,” he started again, but she did not give him a chance to try again. She could practically see him recalculating, his mind racing with new games to play, new angles to try. He’d always manipulated her. She could see that now.
“Enough,” she said, the anger gone from her voice now as weariness set in. Exhaustion. “I am glad you moved on. I am sorry for your bride, but I am glad that I was not so foolish as to be caught in your games.”
“I never played games—”
“I don’t want to hear another word from you,” she said again, harsher this time. “Go. Go find your bride and make sure you treat her better. If the poor girl is stuck with you, the very least you can do is treat her with respect.”
He muttered oaths under his breath but one last look at her eyes seemed to be enough to convince him that he’d lost her...if she’d ever been his to begin with.
She hadn’t. She knew that. But as she watched him walk out the way he’d come in, she had to wonder what it said about her that she’d ever fallen for his lines in the first place.
More than that, how could she have clung to memories of that man. It was so clear to her now that he was nothing but treacly smiles and sugary words.
But just like sugar and pastries, his kind of love would dissolve on the tongue after the first taste. It was made of nothing that lasts. That sort of affection lacked substance. And what she’d felt in return...it was little more than a childish infatuation.
Her mind instantly went to Everly. She suspected whatever these feelings were that she was starting to feel around him were made of something else entirely. Her heart twisted in her chest with the realization. More than a year spent pining over the wrong man, while the real threat to her heart was right in her midst.
And he was a threat. She shut her eyes, the sound of her heartbeat in her ears in the silence that followed Mr. Stallworth’s departure.
Everly was the worst kind of threat because these feelings were so much more real. But they could never be. It was so clear now, and Mr. Stallworth’s words had merely confirmed it.
This was why she’d felt like crying when Everly was kind to her. Why her heart felt close to breaking when he was close. Because despite her feelings, he did not trust her. Despite his kind words, it was clear that he’d only ever see her as a foolish girl who needed to be protected.
Just like her brother. Just like her mother.
She opened her eyes to stare at the space where Mr. Stallworth had just stood.
Maybe they were right. And maybe Everly had been justified in running him off eighteen months ago. But those actions—and everything he’d done and said and failed to say in the time since…
It made it all so clear.
Straightening to her full height, she shoved aside the pain and hurt. For at least she knew who she was, even if those around her did not.
She would have gotten over Mr. Stallworth. She would have moved on quickly if he’d remained in her life. Of that she had little doubt. She might have had her moments of foolishness, but there was no way she would not have seen through his lies and his facade if given enough time.
But Everly hadn’t trusted her enough to tell her his suspicions. He hadn’t told her that he’d sent Mr. Stallworth off without a hope of ever marrying.
He’d let her carry these feelings and nurture them rather than trust her with the truth so that she might make her own decision.
She sniffed back a sob as the reality of it hit her. He had and always would see her as a child. That would not change.
And maybe he’d been right back then...but now?
She tilted her chin up high. Now she would be certain not to make the same mistake twice.
Now she knew better than to give her love to a man who did not return it.
11
Theo stood there, just outside the church as she disappeared around the far side of the estate.
For a moment there, he’d thought…. Oh, what did it matter? With each step he and Sarah took to move closer, it seemed something was bound to push them apart again.
He scrubbed his face with his hands, reminding himself he didn’t wish to draw any closer to her. Sarah held his heart in her delicate hands, but she’d not asked for the duty. And he’d sworn never to give himself away like that again.
Certainly not to a lady who’d already given her heart to another. His lips curled in a snarl he couldn’t restrain. She’d given her heart to Stallworth, the unworthy lout.
Although, perhaps Stallworth wasn’t the problem in this particular conversation. They’d been discussing their own relationship, his and Sarah’s, when she’d run off. More likely, it was him. Had he been overbearing again?
He rubbed the back of his neck. He’d been attempting to apologize, to explain and to assure her that he saw the Sarah everyone else frequently missed.
She was so much more than the woman who could make polite conversation, who could fill a room with a bright laugh and a quick joke.
Under that was a heart of gold and a strength that took his breath away.
He stared at the spot where she’d just disappeared, a realization making his spine stiff and straight. Sarah was a woman of quality. She was good, and whether she loved him or not, she’d be kind if he shared his feelings with her.
He shook his head. She was in love with another man. What was the point?
But perhaps he should tell her, not for her sake but for his own. She’d be gentle in her rejection and mayhap he could set aside his fears of giving his heart away again.
His heart pounded painfully at the thought of it. His mind raced with all the ways this could go wrong—the inevitable awkward exchange, the rejection that would kill, once and for all, any hopes he might have been harboring ever since he’d held her in his arms.