“The fuck you doing?!” I hear yelled as Sonny is pulled away from me by the collar and thrown to the ground. “She’s thirteen-fucking-years-old, you sonofabitch! And my fucking sister!!” Harry seethes, looking down at Sonny on the ground.
“I’m not a baby!” I yell as I jump off the car to see if Sonny is alright.
“Yes, you are! You’re my baby sister, and he has no right to touch you like that, let alone have his tongue down your throat.” He kicks Sonny, making me yelp, but Sonny just lies there taking it. It’s like he expected it. Waited for it.
“He’s hardly the first boy I’ve kissed, Harry.” I stand to face my brother, rolling my eyes. It’s a lie, but he doesn’t know that, and I sure as hell don’t want Sonny knowing how inexperienced I am.
“What?! How is that possible?” He pulls at his hair and turns away from me. “Get up. We’re leaving,” he adds, walking away.
“I’m not going anywhere with you right now. You’re mad and drunk.”
“You’re damn right, I am. But we aren’t staying here so you can tongue more of my friends either.” Ouch! His words feel like a slap to the face.
“I’ll take her home,” Sonny says as he stands, looking at me with eyes filled with regret and sadness.
Harry gets up in his face. “You’ll stay the fuck away from her.”
Sonny clenches his jaw but turns and leaves. Not saying another word. Not looking at me anymore. Just drops his head and walks away.
“Get in the car,” my brother orders, trying to sound calm.
“No,” I tell him defiantly with my arms crossed over my chest.
“Get in the fucking car, Ruby!” he screams at me.
We have a stare down. Harry and me. I know I won’t win this, as much as I wish I could. But the one person I want to be with right now just walked away from me, not even giving me a second glance. Right now, I just want to go home.
I turn and get in Harry’s car, purposely slamming the door shut. Following my lead, he gets into the driver’s side. I try to hold in all the hurt I feel, but I can’t. It begins to slide down my cheek. The same cheek that just minutes ago was held so reverently by the boy who took my first kiss.
Wiping the tear from my cheek, I face the window and pray that my brother doesn’t say anything more to me. I can’t face him right now, not like this, when I’m broken open.
Part I
“She seems so cool, so focused, so quiet, yet her eyes remain fixed upon the horizon. You think you know all there is to know about her immediately upon meeting her, but everything you think you know is wrong. Passion flows through her like a river of blood.
She only looked away for a moment, and the mask slipped, and you fell. All your tomorrows start here.”
― Neil Gaiman, Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders
Ruby
ONE YEAR LATER
Taking in a deep breath as I look up at my new high school building, I roll my shoulders back. This is it. This is the first day of my freshman year of high school. A year that I thought I would spend fighting with my brother each morning on our way to school. A year that I thought we might breech the line we drew in the sand, making him see me as his equal instead of his baby sister.
But instead, I’m here alone.
Pushing open the door of my mom’s SUV, I step out. “Have a great first day. I love you.”
“Love you too,” I mumble, pulling my bag up higher on my shoulder and smoothing out the front of my skirt.
“Oh, and don’t forget you have rehearsal right after, so don’t linger. I’ll be here right when the bell rings to pick you up.”
“I know, Mom. I’ll be here.” I roll my eyes as push the door closed. I hear her say another goodbye, but I act like I don’t.
I love my mom, but lately she’s become such a hoverer. She always has been to a point—I guess it comes with being the baby of the family—but it’s been even worse since Harry’s accident.
One night last year, my brother was racing, like usual. But that time, he didn’t walk away a winner. Instead, he was severely injured. He was lucky to walk away at all, although he doesn’t see it that way.
So, while my parents bend over backward to try to make him happy, he sulks, making life miserable for everyone around him. I want to feel sorry for him, but I can’t. Not when he acts the way he does. Let him stew alone and become the monster he’s so set on becoming.
He’s pushed everyone away; our parents, me, our older sister Poppy—who he’s always been closer to—Sonny and Dez and any other friends he used to have. Now, he just stays in his room and in the dark. Hiding from everyone, including himself.
Giving my head a little shake in attempt to stop thinking about Harry, I walk up the front steps and into the building. Stepping to the side, I reach into my bag to pull out my locker number and combination, then I find my personal box of steel around the corner.
Turning the wheel on the lock, I try the combination I was given, but it doesn’t work. I try again and again, and by the third time, I’m getting irritated, annoyed that I’m going to be late to my first class. “Stupid piece of crap!” I grit as I hit the door, causing a loud bang.
“Having trouble?”
I freeze. My eyes close in slow motion and I drop my head, willing the source of the voice behind me to go away. But when I open my eyes, I see his black boots are still standing here next to mine. “I’m fine,” I tell him shortly and spin the wheel again. 10…32…14…nothing.
Hands that I’ve dreamt about reach around me. His warmth and woodsy male scent surround me as he engulfs my back. He turns the lock using the combination he sees in my hand, and the stupid thing opens.
“Thanks,” I mumble as I quickly shove my bag inside, pulling out only a pencil to take with me.
“Anytime, Tink,” he replies, stepping away. I turn to say more, but he’s already halfway down the hall. I watch as he goes, transfixed by how fluidly he moves. I hear someone else’s locker shut, pulling me from my stare down of Sonny’s back.
Hurriedly, I make my way to my first class just before the bell rings. And as my science teacher prattles on about the syllabus he handed out, I get lost in my thoughts. All I can think about now is Sonny Knight.
I knew I’d see him eventually. But I didn’t think he’d talk to me or even acknowledge my presence—me the mere lowly freshman and him at the top of the food chain as a senior. He hasn’t since he kissed me a year ago.
Harry told him to stay away from me after that day.
And he listened.
Until today.
Why don’t you eat at lunch?
That’s what the first note said that I found stuffed in my locker. I’d kept to myself and hadn’t sought out any friends at my new school. We are more than halfway through the first quarter, and I usually sit out in the quad with a book during my lunch period.
Looking around to see if I could find who left me such a judgmental note, I scanned the hallway to my left and right. As students began to disperse for the day, the crowd thinned and that’s when I saw him. Sonny was leaning a shoulder on the wall, one foot crossed over the other at the ankle as he watched me with a furrowed brow. He looked like he might be upset, but I didn’t understand why.