But once that night rolled around, the nerves well and truly set in. What had I agreed to?
Emily told me she’d pick me up at seven. I didn’t have a choice. I also didn’t have a thing to wear, but I settled on ripped skinny jeans and a tight black tank top. I wasn’t really in a dressing-up state of mind yet. Not like I used to be. Those little black dresses would be hanging in my wardrobe for a while longer yet.
When the doorbell rang and Mum opened the door to let Emily in, she hugged me. I pulled away feeling awkward and then reached for my Converse, but she flew forward and yanked them out of my hands.
“No way. Not tonight. Wear these heels.” She grabbed my black stilettos that I hadn’t worn in months and threw my Converse to the back of the shoe cupboard. “Converse are great, but tonight is a heels night. Let your hair down, Harper.”
Mum just chuckled at my distress and sauntered off to the living room, leaving me to argue this one on my own.
“I don’t even know if I can still walk in those,” I moaned. Having blisters for the next week really wasn’t worth the hassle.
“After a few drinks you won’t care.” She laughed back and threw them to the floor in front of me to put on. I didn’t feel like hashing this out anymore, so I did as she’d asked.
Standing up, I remembered how tall and powerful heels made you feel. It actually felt good. Maybe Emily had been right on this one.
I picked up my clutch bag and we headed out to her car. Emily told me that Liv and Effy were going to meet us at the bar. I smiled, but I felt so nervous at the thought of walking in there. Would everyone be looking at me? Feeling sorry for me? I knew I’d need a few drinks just to calm myself down. I was over-thinking everything. What would I even say to these girls? I barely knew them. This was so far out of my comfort zone.
I stayed quiet on the drive over. Emily filled the silence with stories about the Hardy’s and how excited she was to find a new place for her and Ryan so they could have more privacy. I smiled and gave the appropriate responses, and in a way I felt jealous. Emily seemed to have it all figured out. She had Ryan, they were planning a new life together, and she was doing well in her college course. Where was my life heading? My job didn’t even want me there, I had no boyfriend, and I still lived with my parents at twenty-three. But then she started to open up a little about her dad’s trial and I realised she hadn’t always had it easy. The happiness she was living now had been one she’d fought for. Maybe that’s what we all had to do. Fight for what we wanted. Life wouldn’t just come to you. You had to make it happen.
When we got to the bar, Liv and Effy were already inside and had secured a table for us. There was music playing through the speakers, but it wasn’t too loud or busy and I let my shoulders relax slightly as I scanned the room and realised that there was no one here I recognised.
“Has Ryan gone on a boys’ night?” I asked her as we ordered our drinks.
“That’s what he said. I bet they don’t even make it out of Zak’s living room. It’ll probably be a few games of FIFA and a couple of beers.” Emily rolled her eyes but smiled. The way she lit up whenever she spoke about him was infectious.
We carried our drinks over to the table to join the other two, and I found myself joining in more than I thought I would. None of them tiptoed around me, and it was refreshing. At home, my parents spoke to me like a child sometimes, and it grated on me, but I couldn’t get angry at them. They didn’t deserve that. I also understood why they did it. I hadn’t been the most stable person to live with over the last few months.
We were just chatting over our third round of drinks when Liv let out a huge groan.
“For fuck’s sake. He can’t leave you for five minutes, can he?”
Emily glanced to the door and then swung back round to face us, putting her hands up in defence.
“I swear, I told him to steer clear of this place. I don’t know what he’s thinking. I’m so sorry, girls. I’ll go and ask him to leave.”
She went to stand up, but Liv grabbed her arm to stop her.
“It’s fine. Let them stay. As long as he doesn’t steal you away.”
I peered over my shoulder and sure enough, there was Ryan at the bar with Zak Atwood, Finn Knowles, and Brandon. They were all wearing jeans and dark t-shirts, but Brandon’s tattoos made him stand out in the group.
He stood tall and appeared arrogant as he looked around the room. When his eyes landed on me, the arrogance I thought I saw was replaced by apprehension. He swallowed and then turned to take the drink that Zak was offering him.
“Are you okay?” Emily whispered. “If you feel uncomfortable and want to leave, we can.”
“No. It’s fine,” I said, trying to convince myself as much as her.
She gave me a look that told me she wasn’t buying it, but she let it slide.
“Okay. If at any time you need to leave, just say the word and we’ll go.”
I was touched that she was taking my feelings into consideration like this. I know that given the chance she’d probably want to be with Ryan over us, but she didn’t show it.
“You can go and say hi. We won’t be mad at you,” Liv said, sipping her cocktail.
“I see him every day. It’s fine.” Emily waved her hand nonchalantly.
“Do you want to go over and say hi to Finn?” Liv turned to nudge Effy and she blushed, taking a sip of her drink to try and hide it.
“I’ll go over in a bit. Don’t want to look too eager, do I?” Effy huffed, and Emily and Liv raised their eyebrows at each other.
“Trouble in paradise?” Liv asked.
“What paradise? He barely speaks to me when he sees me. I think you two see things that aren’t there half the time.” Effy didn’t sound too happy about whatever it was that was going on between her and Finn.
“He’s shy, Eff. Don’t be too hard on him,” Emily replied, giving Effy a kind smile.
“I’m shy too,” Effy argued and stuck out her lip, pouting.
“There’s shy, and then there’s Finn Knowles,” Liv said, pointing at him across the room. “That boy needs a kick up the backside if you ask me.”
“We didn’t,” Effy replied, quick as a flash.
“Maybe I can work my cupid magic on him.” Liv tittered.
“Leave it, Liv. I’m not ready for you to start meddling in my love life.” Effy rolled her eyes, looking over at Emily, and the two of them shared a knowing look.
“Bollocks to that. If I hadn’t pushed Em towards Chase Lockwood, Ryan would never have got his shit together.”
I almost choked on my drink.
“You dated Chase Lockwood?” I asked Emily, feeling shocked that she’d go there. Even I’d heard the rumours about Chase and his… how should I say this, man-whoring ways.
“No!” she stated with a look of disgust on her face. “Liv tried to set it up, but I have standards.” Then she became embarrassed and started to blush. “Sorry, Harper. I know the Lockwoods are friends of yours. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“They’re not my friends. Not anymore,” I snapped back a little too brusquely.
I could tell they were itching to ask me what had happened, but bringing up anything about those brothers was the last thing I wanted to do. I had a good buzz from the drinks, the girls had made me laugh, and Brandon was in the same building and I hadn’t freaked out. Tonight, I’d made real progress.