Maybe he didn’t want me at physical therapy because he felt differently toward me.
Maybe he’d only saved me because he felt obligated.
Maybe now he resented me for all the pain he had to carry.
I kept my eyes on the wall and gently pulled his hand off my waist. “I’m really hot right now…”
Hades stilled at my request, his entire body going rigid, but he didn’t pressure me. He shifted his body away and returned to his side of the bed. This time, he turned on his side and faced the other way.
Now, we were even more distant than before.
13
Hades
I was in better shape after several sessions of physical therapy. Now I made my way around the house, taking my time up and down the stairs, but finally mobile. When I stopped by the kitchen to talk to Helena, I ran into Maria.
Initially, she’d adored me because I was a good husband for her daughter. She’d never actually cared about me, only about what I could do for her family. She practically kissed my ass like a suck-up. But now she looked at me like she genuinely cared about my well-being. “Hades, you look so good.” She moved into me, very delicately, and embraced me with a gentle hug. “I’m so happy to see you moving around again.”
Maybe she actually did give a damn about me. “Thank you.”
“Sofia has been taking good care of you?”
She shouldn’t have to. None of this should’ve happened in the first place. “Yes.”
“She’s been so worried about you. I’m glad this is almost over.”
Maybe my injuries had almost healed, but my marriage was destroyed. I’d wanted my wife to fall in love with me, but now I believed that wasn’t possible. I thought I’d broken the curse when I earned my brother’s forgiveness, but now I wondered if that did nothing at all. Sofia and I were further apart than we’d ever been before. When I tried to hold her last night, she didn’t want me to touch her. It hurt…it hurt bad. Maria stared at me like she expected me to say something, so I replied, “Yeah…we’re getting there.” I turned away from my mother-in-law and walked off.
Maria’s voice erupted behind me. “Hades?”
I turned back around.
She came close to me, her arms over her chest with her gaze on the floor. “This is hard to say…but I’m worried about my daughter.”
My heart started to beat a little harder.
“She won’t talk to me about what happened. I can’t get a word out of her.”
The subject hit me in the chest like a wrecking ball.
Maria kept staring at me. “I know she won’t see a therapist either.”
The event hung over our heads like a dark cloud. It was something we all talked around, but no one mentioned specifics. We were all too disturbed to discuss it. “She hasn’t mentioned it to me either.” But I also never asked. I was too much of a coward to bear the burden of her story. I couldn’t stand the thought of picturing what happened, of knowing exactly what he did to her.
“I think you’re the only person who can talk to her. I know my daughter. She’s carrying this weight inside because she thinks she can handle it on her own. But this isn’t something that’s just going to go away if we ignore it. Please talk to her, Hades.”
She shouldn’t even have to ask. That was my job, but I put myself before Sofia. Once we talked about it, it would really be real. I would have to admit that it was entirely my fault. “I will.”
Maria placed her hand on my arm. “Thank you. You’ve always been good to her, and I appreciate it.”
Whenever Sofia took a shower, she always carried her clothes into the bathroom so she could change in privacy. When she got ready for bed in the evening, she did the same thing. I hadn’t seen her naked skin in over a month. It hurt that she felt the need to cover herself around me, but I tried to remember it wasn’t right for me to feel anything about it.
She was in the bathroom when I decided to go out. I walked to the door and tapped my knuckles against the wood.
Sofia’s voice echoed against the tile. “Yeah?”
“I’m gonna have a drink with Ash. I’ll be back in an hour.”
She didn’t answer, but I could hear her rummaged in the bathroom as she quickly got dressed.
My own wife wouldn’t let me see her naked. That wasn’t good.
She opened the door a second later, a robe tied around her waist. “Where are you going?”
“The bar.” I hated myself for what I’d done. I hated the fact that my own wife didn’t trust me. Sometimes it made me angry, and I had to redirect that anger onto myself because it wasn’t her fault. My physical injuries would heal in time, but her mental state could be permanent. It seemed like every time I came close to her, she pushed further away.
“I’m glad you feel well enough to go out.”
“Yeah. It’s an improvement.” The only real reason I wanted to get out of the house was to take a break. I was tired of the way she looked at me—or better yet, the way she didn’t look at me. “I’ll see you soon.” There were no more kisses on the cheek, long embraces before I walked out. Now we made exchanges like strangers.
It killed me inside.
I met Ash at the bar two minutes later. He was already seated at a table when I walked in. There were two glasses of scotch in front of him, one for him and one for me. But I suspected he got started without me long before I arrived.
I fell into the chair and immediately took a drink.
Ash leaned forward slightly, his arms resting on the table. “How are things?”
“Shitty.”
“What are you talking about? I remember when you couldn’t walk up the stairs. Now, here you are, walking around as a free man. That doesn’t sound shitty to me.”
My hand rested across the top of my glass. “I don’t give a shit about my recovery. Part of me wishes I were dead.”
Ash rolled his eyes. “Dramatic.”
“I’m serious.”
Ash didn’t make another joke. “What’s the problem?”
“My wife doesn’t want me.” As I spoke the words out loud, my chest ached in pain.
Sympathy filled his gaze.
“I love my wife more than anything in this world…and she doesn’t love me back. It’ll always be this way, no matter what I do. I’m doomed to suffer like this forever.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked. “Of course she loves you.”
I shook my head. “No. And she never will.” I tilted my head back and took a drink. I set it down with a loud thud. “I know this is gonna sound crazy, but hear me out.”
“You know I love crazy shit.”
“When I was young, a gypsy told me I would love only one woman…and she would never love me back. I thought it was bullshit. Who wouldn’t? But everything she predicted has come true.”
Ash raised an eyebrow. “You being serious right now?”
“Unfortunately.”
“If that was the case, why did she marry you?”
“Because she had to.”