Chapter 18
Pixie
GAZE DROPPED OFF like a baby, his hand relaxed and his face looked way younger when he had his guard down.
His father was a crazy person. I mean, on the very rare occasions he wasn’t drinking, he seemed okay, but the terror he was in Gaze’s room was horrible. That was Gaze’s home. His safe spot was far less safe than it should be.
I knew if I confided in my mom that she would understand why Gaze had to be here. He was not getting hit tonight, with a belt from the looks of it. I felt my rage light up inside me. Nothing made me more furious than watching an innocent person be bullied by their parents, by the kids in the neighborhood. Gaze wasn’t trying to hurt anyone. He even saved Fat Asshole. He was a good guy. He was as close to a family besides Mom than I’d ever had. Gaze didn’t deserve the way his father treated him.
I reviewed my schedule in my head again. My book bag was packed, and I’d made my sandwich before I came to bed. Bic had been out, so I’d been able to sit and watch a reality show with Mom in peace. Of course, as always, Bic came bursting in just as I tried talking to her about my concerns about him. That weird feeling in my gut every time he was in the room with me. But I dropped it when he walked in, and I found something else to do until bed because I didn’t want to be around him.
The next thing I knew a person was in my room. I’d had it locked, but my immediate fright dissipated when I saw it was Gaze just before he turned out my light.
My sleepy brain took a few extra beats to understand that he’d come across the ramp.
The last time we’d had him do that we both almost died.
When I heard his father screaming, I put it together. He was afraid. I stood up to see what he saw. To understand what would make him scurry across five stories to get to me.
Gaze’s dad was a crazy person. His wild eyes were bloodshot and his slurring voice was confusing. He was like a monster in a horror film. The hate he had in his eyes for Gaze. His belt snapping in his hands.
And that’s when I’d grabbed his hand. Because he was going to have to look at that, I was going to do it with him.
I was up with my alarm at 6:30 a.m., the sun already starting to make its daily trip to the top of the sky. I woke up Gaze who was still out cold. Eventually, he opened his eyes and his eyebrows knitted together while he placed why he was in my room with me. Then the wince betrayed when his memory took him back to the night before.
“It’s okay. Do you need to go get your clothes?” I scootched around him so I could put my feet on the floor.
Gaze lifted up his blanket and shrugged. “I’m still wearing my stuff from yesterday. I don’t have my shoes, though.”
He swung his feet to the floor and wiggled his toes.
“I’ve got black flip-flops. They might work, if you don’t want to go back home yet.” I pushed off the bed and dug under the bed. I liked my pink flip-flops better, but there had been a buy-one-get-one-free sale at the Dollar Tree, so I grabbed these in my size. I pulled them apart from the plastic tag that held them together.
I unlocked my bedroom door and tiptoed out. Gaze did the same behind me. We made it to the bathroom and shared a hairbrush. He put toothpaste on his finger and did his best to brush his teeth while I went through my routine. I left him in the bathroom and went to make us both waffles in the toaster. Mom was still asleep, which was normal. I was getting out just a few minutes before her morning started.
Gaze slipped into the kitchen just as I set down the waffle onto a paper towel. I sprinkled a little powdered sugar on it, not asking his preference. This was how I did my meal, carrying it on the walk over.
Bic burped twice and farted once on his way down the hallway. He had his loud morning pee with the bathroom door left ajar. Luckily, we couldn’t see that room from where we were.
Gaze made a face that made me want to laugh, because I normally endured this alone.
“Who the hell is this?”
As if his words were a starting pistol, Gaze and I grabbed our waffles and made for the door in a rush.
“Wait! Slow down. Both of ya.”
Gaze slowed his steps, and I had to do the same. I wasn’t leaving him alone with Bic. We were past the doorframe, so technically we were in public.
“He here all night, Mixie Pixie?” He started picking things out of his teeth with his pinkie fingernail. He tried his hand at another nickname for me. I hated it.
“That’s my business.” I detested the feeling that Bic’s personal space made in mine. Like a spreading virus I couldn’t see, but it was strangling me.
“Ya old enough to take boys to your bed?” I felt the blush up the back of my neck, hating everything he was insinuating, even if I didn’t fully understand it.
“Pixie is a friend. My best friend. Talk to her with respect.” Gaze stood as tall as he could next to me.
Bic gave a deep throated laugh.
“You shooting out of your league, son.” Bic scratched his armpit.
“Let’s go.” I put my arm through Gaze’s elbow. Bic’s mean laughter and fading words bounced off our backs.
We ate our waffles on the walk to school. Other kids filed out of their buildings to join us. After Gaze collected my paper towel, he tossed it into the trash can. First day of school. There seemed to be more excitement than usual. People called out to me and said, “Hi.” Everyone was wearing something new, like a backpack or a hairbow. Nothing crazy.
“Hey.” Gaze pulled on my pinkie with his, stopping me on the stairs of the school.
“Yeah?” At first I thought he was trying to skip the first day of school. Which would make sense considering how much interest he’d shown in school prep.
“Don’t be alone with Bic.” Gaze then bit his lips shut.
“I try not to be. Why do you say that?” Kids streamed around us. I was catching bits of conversations, about video games and movies.
“It’s just a feeling. I don’t trust him around you. Okay?” Gaze seemed embarrassed to be mentioning it. His ears were turning red.
“Okay. Thanks. I’ll try.” It was hot today, but I had a chill down my spine. The kid that got beaten by his dad was afraid for me. Gaze was picking up on that same weird feeling I was. “Let’s get inside.”
Chapter 19
GAZE
I DIDN’T GET to stay with Pixie all day. We had some of the same classes, but mostly, she was in different ones. I saw frigging Alfie, who had almost all of the same classes as me. I couldn’t catch a break. I was able to sit with Pixie at lunch, and that was good. She was the center of the damn school, it seemed. I mean, I couldn’t blame people. She was just someone you wanted to be with. I had a moment of panic as I got close to her because there were people on either side of her at the lunch bench. But I didn’t have to worry. Pixie used both hands to actually push a row of about three kids far enough away from her side so that I could sit next by her.
And I squeezed right in. She joked with everyone and told them some of our summer stories. I was torn between being grateful that I had her circle around me and jealous that she was sharing the things that were just ours. The first day of school was weird. I learned I had to share my Pixie, and I wasn’t sure if I was okay with it.