“You back?” He eyed Officer Sam.
“Yeah?” Obviously. I wanted to get to my room, lock my door, and pile my blankets on top of me and not be anywhere.
Bic put his arms on the doorframe and gave the officer a smile that looked more like a snarl.
He reached out and I flinched, but he clamped one of his huge hands on my injured shoulder and twirled me so we were both facing the hallway. He left his hand on my shoulder. It hurt more because I had a deep bruise there. His hand on my skin made everything in my body crawl. Warning bells sounded alarms in the back of my head.
“You done grilling my kid?” Bic spoke too loud, as usual.
I kept my eyes on his fingers, way too close to my face. I wanted to bite him. I wasn’t his kid. I didn’t want him acting like he was my father.
“For now. She’s going to have to be available to me as the case moves forward against Bruce Jones.” Officer Sam and I looked at each other. “Everything okay?”
He was picking up on how much I hated Bic. I tried to relax a bit. I didn’t want more drama.
“Any time frame on that?” Bic asked like he cared about me.
I knew it was his way of trying to figure out when I could be left alone. My mom had to travel to New Orleans in a few weeks that I knew he was excited about going as well. Of course, he worded it like he was taking my mother on a vacation, and he was the big spender, but I knew the truth. There was a spot in her hotel bed and it was available for him to be a freeloader.
“No, it’s just a random thing. Justice and all that. I know where to find Pixie and I’ll drop by when I need to.” Officer Sam stepped toward Bic in a threatening way.
“Of course. No problem. We have nothing to hide.” Bic moved his hand to my hip and I watched it leave like it was a tarantula set loose on my skin.
Bic stuck out his other hand to offer it for a shake, and Officer Sam reluctantly gave in and did the same.
Officer Sam turned to me. “You know where to find me, Pixie, if you have any—”
He was cut off by Bic, pushing me to the side and closing the door.
When Bic spoke, he was quiet, “You know we don’t need to be having the law up here every damn day, girl. You need to learn to mind your own damn business. If Bruce wants to spank his kid, he can.”
I stepped away from him and felt my jaw drop. Of course, Bic would reframe it that way. He wanted what was best for himself, and always would. I ignored him and went straight to my room, locking it firmly behind me so I could finally breathe. Bic angrily knocked and made me jump.
“Your mother wants you to call her. You better make sure she knows this is not a big deal. I want to go to New Orleans.”
And it started then. Bic telling me what to tell my mother. Another roadblock besides his actual body in my world. I sat on my bed and grabbed my teddy bear. I could see Gaze’s window. I spent the afternoon regretting everything I had to do, yet knowing I had no other choice. It sucked.
_______________
I was able to go to school the next day. I kept my head down and avoided talking to people. That in itself was way different than I normally acted. But people wanted to talk about Gaze. Wanted to talk about his dad getting arrested. There were a ton of rumors I heard whispered when I moved from class to class.
My shoulder still hurt. My heart was worried. After school, I took three different busses to get to the hospital. I wanted to visit Gaze, because I didn’t think anyone else would be coming. I wanted to see him and make sure he was okay.
Luckily, I saw Nurse Pam in the parking lot and called her name. She looked around and then waved me over.
“What’s going on, kiddo?” She put her hand on my head.
“Just want to see Gaze. Can you tell me how to get to him?” I scanned all the windows in the building, trying to sense where he might be.
“Well, he’s in a room, but in a medical coma. Basically, he has meds to keep him calm. And I can’t tell you this. It’s all confidential.” She tilted her head toward the building.
I followed her in, despite the warning. She allowed it and held the elevator door for me, so I knew she wasn’t opposed to helping me. After the door opened, she turned left and paused at a door.
I peeked in and saw the small form on the bed. Gaze.
I walked in quietly, not wanting to wake him. His face was calm, but he had an oxygen mask on and some tubes and wires connected to him. His face didn’t look quite as bad as I was expecting, but his chest was a swarm of bruises around a large bandage. I touched his hand.
This was what happened because I waited too long. He was here, recovering in the hospital, and it was far past our little dirty secret. It was blown wide open now that he was here. I should’ve stopped it sooner. I knew it. I felt it in my gut that his dad was getting worse. It was selfishness that stopped me. I wanted Gaze to stay. In my neighborhood, I got to see what happened when kids got taken away. Sometimes they were gone forever. And usually, we were happy for them because we knew their situations were crap.
And sometimes they did come back. And the thing that was wrong had gotten worse. It was all luck of the draw. But looking at Gaze now, I knew this outcome would never be considered lucky.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered it to him while he lay there. I started crying, again. Had I known it was the last time I was going to get to see him, I might’ve tried to say more. Hug him despite the machines in the way.
But I didn’t know. I thought there would be a tomorrow when I could sneak in again.
A different nurse that wasn’t Nurse Pam bustled in, pushing a cart that had the tools of her trade.
“Hey, who are you?”
I had a few answers for that question.
I was the one that caused this to happen. I was the one that should’ve said something. I may have caused something to start rolling that I can never stop.
Instead, I wiped my hand on my cheek and replied, “Nobody,” as I speed walked out of Gaze’s room.
_______________
I had one more job to do. I wanted to force Gaze’s grandfather to do a few things. Bic gave me crap about where I was going, but I had some cash in my sock drawer and I didn’t owe him any answers until Mom got back from work, so I walked out without speaking to him.
I remembered how to get to Poughkeepsie and I bundled up. The trip without Gaze seemed to take one hundred years longer, and I made two wrong turns to get to his grandfather’s house. They had the mansion decorated for Christmas and it made me snort. They were pretending that they gave a damn about family, but they had thrown Gaze to the wolf that was his father.
I walked up the path, steamed already. When I pressed the doorbell, it trilled its elaborate tune. The same housekeeper that opened the door last time seemed surprised to find me on the step.
The grandfather had on jeans, a white shirt, and a cardigan when he whisked me into his study, looking over his shoulder before closing the door.
Instead of sitting in the seat he gestured to, I stood, arms crossed. He did the same on the other side. This was not a friendly get-together.
“I have no idea why you’re here. I’ve been paying everything I’m supposed to and I have the receipts.” He stared at his desk drawer, but didn’t move to open it.
“Have the police contacted you? Do they have a way to find you?” I inspected his office. I wasn’t sure how much of this man’s life touched Gaze’s on paper. If it was easy to see or not that he had responsibility via blood to his grandchild.