Zac had thought he’d escaped the underground section of the prison without being noticed, but apparently he’d been wrong. The moment he exited the elevator and went to lock it down so there was no way in or out, those three flipped sex fairies jumped him. Then one of the creatures hit him with something, and the next thing he knew, he was waking up in the bondage store down in the mall, handcuffed to a steel display table meant for immortal S&M.
I knew selling immortal-strength handcuffs to the public was a mistake. But does anyone ever listen to me? No. I swear, I can’t even… The ridiculousness of the situation was too much.
What he wouldn’t give for it all to be over so that he and Tula could return to a normal, respectable immortal life filled with your basic paranormal creatures, such as gods, demigods, and vampires. He’d even be happy with the Maaskab still lurking in the shadows, biding their time to capture the gods. Ah, the good old days. When apocalypses were simple. And music made sense, consisting of one single drum. Perhaps a tambourine and some yodeling.
“Listen, ladies,” he said to his captors, who were busy fondling his toes, “you can ask Minky if you want, but I’m not giving it up, okay? I am a one-woman god, and nothing you can say or do will change that.” The sex fairies with their little pink and purple wings completely ignored him and pulled out a box from one of the cabinets.
“Feathers?” He cocked a brow. He hated to be tickled. Like, seriously.
“Hey! You guys get out of here!” Tula popped into the room, and the fairies flew off.
“Tula? I told you to stay away.” He didn’t want to risk her growing weak and disappearing forever.
“Yeah, well, all hell is breaking loose, and I’m not about to allow my man to be accosted by yet another horny creature. I mean, really. Who do they think they are?”
“I am the God of Temptation, my love. Do not be too hard on them. They can’t help themselves.”
“Ask me if I care.”
“Is that a rhetorical question?” he questioned.
“Yes.”
“I knew that.”
“Uh-huh. So how am I going to get you out of here this time?” She looked around the room, which was covered in floor-to-ceiling bondage gear. Whips, chains, and more leather than even a badass god like himself knew what to do with.
“I don’t see any two-ton magical doodies like we had in Minky’s cave,” Tula said.
“No. They have only small unicorn turds over in the fetish section.”
Tula shook her head. “I swear, Zac. I…”
Her voice faded. Though she was a disembodied spirit, her sorrow and frustration filled the entire room. “It just never ends! I try and I push and I hope and I trust, and all I get is kicked down over and over again. I can’t take it anymore, Zac! I can’t keep kidding myself that our love story was meant to be!” Salty ghost tears streamed down her pale ghostly face.
“Honey. Baby,” he said softly. “Don’t say that. The Universe is listening, and you don’t want to upset her.”
“No!” Tula shook her finger. “Fuck her. Fuck that stupid mean bitch!”
“Tula!” She never swore or thought mean things. It wasn’t in her nature, but he also knew everyone had his or her limit. Tula had just reached hers.
“What?” Tula threw her hands to her sides. “Am I not allowed to say what’s in my heart? Am I not allowed to be angry or feel betrayed? Does calling bullshit and yelling when I’ve been served a giant heaping helping of injustice make me a bad person?”
“No, sweetheart. It does not. And it’s only natural to feel angry and frustrated by what seems like an impossible situation. But your energy is dimming. You only have so much to give. Why waste it? Why spend it on screaming when that won’t solve the problem or make the Universe change?”
“So what the fuck do you propose I do, Zac? Huh? You want me to sit here and hope the world will throw us a bone?”
“Not at all, Tula. I’m merely asking you to focus on what really matters. Our love.”
“Love. You think love is going to fix this giant cluster of fucks?” She huffed.
He couldn’t believe he was seeing this side of Tula—the one who usually acted with her golden heart, who always saw the good in everyone. She never raised her voice or her hand, but she was always the first to extend it.
She is afraid. “It’s the fear talking, my love. But let me assure you of two things: One, the world will never be perfect because we are not perfect. So stop getting upset over the things you cannot change. Focus your energy on the things within your control.”
“I hate your stupid speech right now, so you’d better make number two really good.”
“It is good. I love you. Nothing evil, unjust, beautiful, wonderful, or tragic can take that away. Our love has made this world a better place, and though you might not see it in this very moment of deep torment, I assure you that the tiny ripples created by our two hearts matter. Love always matters. It is the only thing that matters.”
She frowned. “Yep. Just like I thought. I hated number two. I don’t want stupid mantras and life lessons of the great God of Temptation. I just want to be happy before I die. Before my time is up!”
“Then be happy. No one is stopping you,” he pointed out. “Least of all me.”
He watched as the lightbulb came on in Tula’s transparent head. They had now, this moment, and she could either let that be enough and see the beauty in it, or she could stomp her feet because it wasn’t perfect.
“I want to be happy. I do. But I’m nothing but a stupid ghost, powerless, without a body, and I want to touch you!”
“You’re not stupid to me. To me, you’re everything. So do you want to matter to a world who doesn’t see you? Or do you want to matter to the one person who sees just how perfect you are?”
She swiped a tear from her eye, locking eyes with him. “I wish I could kiss you right now.”
“Me, too.” He toggled his head. “I could also go for some touching and sexing, but if I only get to stare at your face and those big blue eyes, I’ll take it.”
She bowed her head and pretended to press her mouth to his.
Wait. A second. Hold on. What the fuck?
Tula snapped her head back. “Ohmygod.” She pressed her fingertips to her mouth. “I felt that.”
Zac blinked, his heart thumping away with excitement. “Me, too!”
“You did?” she chirped.
“Yes! I did. Do it again!” he commanded.
Tula pressed her little lips to his, and he felt her sweet warmth. He felt it! Dear gods, their prayers had finally been answered.
She pulled away, her lower lip quivering. “What’s happening right now?” she whispered.
“Woman, I do not know, but take off your fucking clothes this instant, including those ginormous panties, and get on top of me.”
“Oh, gods. Oh, gods! This is happening!” With shaking hands, she whipped off her dress.
“Hurry!”
“This isn’t how I imagined it, but I’ll take what I can get!” She shimmied down his leather pants, exposing his thick hard manhood. “Wow. I haven’t seen that in a while.”