“Nobody wins here, Lucas. No matter what we do, we all lose.”
“Okay,” he breathes, stopping next to the island and bracing his hands on the top. I can see the indecision tearing him apart. “I’ll cut him out of my life. For good.”
Tears pour down my face and I shake my head. “I can’t let you do that. He’s your brother and the only family you have left. What kind of person would I be to claim to love you one moment and then demand you kick your only brother to the curb in the next?”
“What the fuck do you want me to do then?” he yells, his eyes locking with mine, desperate. It breaks another piece of me. “Just tell me what to do, Quinn, and I’ll fucking do it. But don’t tell me that I have to lose you because I can’t fucking do that!”
“I’m so sorry, Lucas.”
Fire lights up his gaze and he shakes his head as he closes the distance between us and grabs my arms, pulling me into his body. “No! This is not over.”
“I don’t see any other way,” I whisper, my body feeling weak as my chin trembles. I don’t have much strength left. He shakes his head again. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“Are you insane? I’m being fucking ripped in half by my love for you and my loyalty to my brother,” he seethes, taking a step back as he grips his t-shirt and pulls it away from his body like he might rip it off. “It literally feels like the two of you are tearing me apart and I don’t know what to do. If I choose you, I lose the only family I have left and if I choose him, I lose the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
I nod, another sob slipping past my lips. “Which is why I’m choosing for you. I love you enough to let you go and I meant everything I said in that message yesterday. I don’t blame you for any of this. I’m so grateful that I met you.”
“Don’t you dare say good-bye to me,” he growls, yanking me back into his body. “I told you, I can’t walk away from you. I don’t know how.”
“You are the most incredible man I’ve ever met,” I continue, brushing my fingers over his cheek and his eyes plead with me to stop. “And I am always going to love you but there is no future for us.”
He stares at me for a second before releasing me and taking a step back. It feels like the world just dropped out from underneath me and even though I’m the one ending things, it still kills me. His eyes narrow into a glare and he opens his mouth like he might say something else before turning and storming out of the house. As the front door slams shut, I collapse into a heap on the kitchen floor and sob, my whole body shuddering as my cries echo through the empty house - reminding me of how alone I truly am.
Guess I’d better get used to it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Lucas
“Smith?” Fuzz asks, flipping on the light over the bar and I squint as I glance over my shoulder at him. “It’s two in the morning. What the hell are you doing, man?”
I shake my head. “Nothing.”
“You drinking?” His gaze falls to the full glass of whiskey on the bar in front of me and I shake my head.
“Thought about it but no.”
He sits on the stool next to me and claps my shoulder. “What’s going on, brother?”
“Oh, you know, just my whole world falling apart.”
“Quinn?” he asks and I nod. “What happened at the station?”
“She went over her statement from two years ago and I gave them my DNA to match my brother’s in the rape kit and then we left.”
His eyes narrow, years of being a cop engrained in everything he does. “Okay, what happened after that?”
“I drove her home and she decided to try and break up with me.”
“Why?”
I throw my hands up in the air. “Fuck if I know. Something about how there being no future for us because of my brother.”
“Shit, man. I’m sorry.”
Shaking my head, I turn to him. “No. Don’t do that. She may think this is over but it isn’t. I just gotta figure out a way to fix things.”
“Dude, I know you care about her but you have to see things from her perspective. This whole situation is beyond fucked up. What is she supposed to do?”
“Are you on her side?” I snarl and he sighs.
“Do you plan on cutting your brother out of your life entirely?”
“Maybe.”
He scoffs. “Don’t give me that shit. We’ve all watched you rip yourself apart for the last few years for him and now you’re just going to walk away? I don’t think so.”
“See, that’s what I’ve been thinking about all night long. Yeah, Clay is my brother but besides a shared past, what do I get out of our relationship? What would my life look like if he was clean and is it enough to make giving up the only woman I’ve ever loved worth it? I don’t know… but I can see my future without her and it looks like fucking shit.”
“So,” he muses. “That’s it, then.”
I blow out a breath. “No, that’s not fucking it because I still feel guilty as hell for even thinking about turning my back on him.”
“Look, I will say that if you decide to cut ties with your brother, you never once turned your back on him. In fact, you’ve taken metaphorical beating after beating from him for years but the simple truth is this - you have to choose. It’s either Quinn or Clay. You can’t have both.”
“Yeah,” I mutter as my phone rings and I pull it out of my pocket. “I know.”
Quinn’s name flashes on the screen and my heart jumps into my throat as I answer it.
“Babe?”
“Lucas, it’s Alice…”
My gaze flicks to Fuzz’s as my stomach sinks. “Alice, why do you have Quinn’s phone?”
“Uh… Quinn and Brooklyn are missing. I know something happened between the two of you yesterday but I thought you’d want to know.”
“I’m on my way,” I snap into the phone before hanging up and Fuzz stands as I grab my bike keys off the bar.
“What’s going on?”
“That was Quinn’s sister Alice. Quinn and her daughter are missing and I’ve got to get over there.”
He nods and stands. “I’m coming with you. Lead the way.”
We rush out of the clubhouse and jump on our bikes before peeling out of the parking lot. As I fly through the streets of Baton Rouge, my heart hammers in my chest and my mind races with scenarios. What the hell happened after I left earlier? I wish I had asked Alice before hanging up the phone but I’ll find out soon enough.
Red and blue lights blind me as I pull up to Quinn’s house and I barely get the kickstand down before I’m jumping off my bike and running up the front steps.
“Lucas,” Alice calls as I reach the front door and I turn to the swing where she’s sitting with tears running down her face. Fuzz joins me on the porch and we walk over to her.
“What happened, Alice?”
She sucks in a stuttered breath. “I’m so sorry, Lucas. I shouldn’t have left her.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, sitting next to her on the swing and she wipes away a few tears.