‘I think Freddie’s too tired for the pool,’ Ella said, cradling him.
‘Then I’ll take him,’ I said, unsmiling. ‘He can sit with me.’
‘But I thought you were going in the water with Violet and Alfie,’ she said loud enough for them to hear. ‘You just promised them.’
She was right, I had said I would, and I wanted to, but I also wanted Freddie back. I stood there with my arms out for him as the other two called for Mummy to get in the water.
‘Go on, Clare, you play with the others. He’s fine with us,’ Jamie said.
‘Yeah… be good for him to get used to Jamie – and me,’ Ella added, making it clear exactly what she meant. If I denied them this time with Freddie, would she say something to Dan? I couldn’t risk it, so against all my instincts, I went in the water with Violet and Alfie, while keeping an eye on Ella and Jamie who were now playing with Freddie.
Once in the water, I discreetly said to Violet, ‘Auntie Ella took lots of photos of you, didn’t she?’
‘Yeah,’ she responded excitedly. ‘She always does… Mum, did you know she has twenty-five thousand followers?’
‘Mmmm, so I believe.’ I looked up and saw them the other side of the pool, Jamie holding Freddie in the air, Ella laughing and tickling his toes. For now I would play with my kids, give them the quality time they deserved. I would deal with @EllaFamily1 later.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Several hours later, I saw Ella go into the villa and followed her. She went into the lounge area, still in her bikini, and closed the door. I wasn’t being closed out of a room in my own holiday home, so, after a brief knock, I went in. She was lying on the sofa, scrolling through her phone, doing what made her happiest and probably uploading more photos of my kids.
‘I can’t believe you’d make an account featuring my children without asking me,’ I said of the photos.
‘What are you going on about now?’ she monotoned, without even looking up from her phone. I was gripped by rage, and having been careful with her until now, the time for playing games was over. She’d involved my children, and they were more important to me than anyone or anything else.
‘Your stupid bloody Instagram. Photos of my kids like they’re yours, what the hell do you think you’re doing?’
She finally looked up from her phone, but stayed in the prone position. ‘You mean the Ella family account? I thought you’d like their photos,’ she said, all innocence. But I saw the gleam in her eye. She was enjoying this. And now I could see how clever she was, always stage-managing the situation, manipulating me so I appeared to be the unreasonable one. It was so frustrating I found it impossible to hide my irritation.
‘It isn’t my kids’ photos I’m objecting to. It’s the fact you’ve posted them without my permission and they’re on your Instagram.’
‘God, Clare. Get a grip,’ she sighed.
‘Please take them off NOW,’ I said. Loudly.
She finally looked at me through hand-shielded eyes. ‘Wow, hun, you need to calm down.’
‘No, hun. You do!’ I spat.
‘Anyone would think I’d kidnapped them,’ she said calmly, a perfectly posed look of hurt on her face. ‘They’re my niece and nephews, they’re my family too, Clare. I never once said they were my own kids. Why are you always looking for ways to get at me? I can’t do anything right as far as you’re concerned. I even take your kids for ice cream– and you turn that into a drama.’
‘That’s not true…’ I started, trying to compose myself, not show my anger so she could look like the victim. ‘I wanted to like you when you first arrived, and you were straight out rude to me. From that first moment, it’s like you’ve had it in for me. But there’s no rational reason for that, you didn’t even know me – I just think maybe we’re very different and find it hard to connect.’
‘I could say the same of you, we didn’t know each other but you took against me. You told Jamie you didn’t like me. So you can’t deny it and pretend it’s me who’s the hater.’
‘But that was later, at the beginning I wanted to like you…’ I started.
‘You don’t have to like me, Clare,’ she said over me, repeating the phrase I’d used to Jamie. The message was loud and clear: everything I’d said to Jamie, he’d shared with her. As he said, she was his wife, they had no secrets. It seemed like everyone was talking about everyone else, repeating each other’s words and sharing confidences that were never meant to be shared.
‘I don’t like or dislike you, Ella, because I don’t know you,’ I said, ‘none of us do. We only met a few days ago,’ I added. ‘I just find it… interesting,’ I continued, ‘the way you’ve come into this family and honestly I’m wondering what your deal is. Because within hours of your arrival, you’re ripping apart the family business, criticising the website, deciding where everyone should sit, what everyone should eat, implying I’m menopausal, flirting with Dan – and now, now…’ I stopped because the look of feigned innocence on her face was making me angry again. I had to compose myself, and tried to continue calmly. ‘Now you’re posting photos of my kids on Instagram and involving yourself in stuff that doesn’t concern you. Stuff between me and Jamie.’ At this, I finally made eye contact and she stared back.
‘What the actual hell, Clare? It doesn’t concern me?’ She put on her shocked face. ‘You think you can just live your life, criticising others from your high horse – blaming everyone else for what’s happening to you. I know you disapprove of me, you think I’m not good enough – well, take a look at yourself, the “perfect wife and mother”. Screaming at your kids and shagging your husband’s brother behind his back. Nice.’
I talked in a calm voice, no swearing, no visible anger. ‘I love my kids, they are amazing and sometimes I tell them off because I want them to be amazing adults. You aren’t a mother, so please don’t you dare criticise my mothering. As for Jamie and me, that happened a long time ago, I was under a lot of stress, Dan had met someone else and I thought he was leaving me—’
‘Oh, there you go again,’ she interrupted, ‘blaming someone else for what you did – for the life you’re stuck in. I suppose it was her fault, was it… the woman he was seeing? It was her fault you shagged his brother… Yeah, that’s it, Clare.’
‘That’s not what I’m saying, I’m saying things were different then, we were different people, and after it happened, Jamie and I made a decision for it to never be discussed again. Then Freddie came along, and yes, it’s possible that Jamie’s the father. But it was our secret and Jamie shouldn’t have told you.’
‘But I’m his wife! We don’t have secrets,’ she said, repeating the mantra he’d used, that she’d obviously drummed into him. ‘Meanwhile, you stick your head in the sand with the rest of the family regarding your own husband’s inability to keep his hands to himself.’ She paused, to see my reaction, to really hit me with it. ‘You blame “the other woman” and you all move on, don’t you?’ She was reminding me that not only was Dan unfaithful, but she knew about it – she’d made a spot-on assessment of the Taylors too, that’s exactly what they did. Obviously, Jamie knew about Dan’s first affair because I’d told him the night we slept together, and I assume he knew about Marilyn from Joy. He had clearly told Ella about it, along with absolutely everything about himself and his family. After all, as they both said, they had no secrets. I doubted Jamie had any secrets from Ella, but I was convinced she had quite a few of her own that he wasn’t privy to.