After that, their relationship had grown warmer and she’d found he had a dry wit that she rather liked.
Trust. If only he knew, she thought now as she went to put her coat and bag in the cupboard behind the desk. She turned back to see that James had the bank statements up on the computer screen. Her heart leapt up her throat, her body frozen in place like it had short-circuited.
Oh my God, no!
She had taken on responsibility for the bank reconciliations now that he was confident she knew what she was doing, and she did all the online banking as well as posting everything to the accounting system. She’d been sure he wouldn’t bother with the detail, didn’t think he had the time. In fact, he’d told her as much. Maybe he hasn’t seen, she reassured herself, recognising the cheque account on the screen. He had no reason to look at any of the other statements. No reason at all.
‘You know we’ve got a new treasurer starting?’ he said, still staring at the screen. ‘I’m not sure I mentioned it, did I?’
Sara coughed, too shocked to speak for a moment. ‘No, I don’t think you did.’
‘Eddie decided he was getting too old for the job and resigned on Monday. Fiona’s delighted. She’s been trying to winkle him out ever since he fell asleep in the last board meeting, and to be honest, he hasn’t been on top of things for a while now. Anyway, she asked the rest of the board for nominations and they’ve come up with Julia Prentice. I think her daughter is friendly with Fiona’s.’ He looked over his shoulder at Sara. ‘You might know her too?’
She nodded, a flush of heat travelling round her body. Panic gripped her by the throat, making a reply impossible. Julia moved in Fiona’s professional circle – one of the great and good of the town, another superwoman who seemed to have it all and the energy of three normal humans. Sara found her cool and intimidating and they rarely spoke, even though their daughters were friends and played together on the same football team. She’d heard Julia was an auditor, a detail person, who worked for one of the large accountancy firms in Leeds.
The blood drained from her face and she busied herself in the cupboard, tidying the lost property shelf, not wanting James to notice her dismay. She’ll be on to what I’ve done in an instant! Her chest tightened with fear.
She heard James’s fingers tapping on the keyboard.
‘The thing is, she’s asked to see bank statements so she knows where we’re up to.’ Sara stopped what she was doing, but couldn’t turn to look at him, dreading to think where the conversation was heading. ‘I noticed in one of the deposit accounts – the one we haven’t used since the new kitchen was done – there’s a transfer – nine thousand pounds…’
She could imagine the accusation in his eyes, felt his stare searing the back of her neck. She straightened up, sweating profusely now, her shirt sticking to her back.
Silence.
Her heart beat even faster, so fast it felt like her chest would explode. She could hardly breathe. He was waiting for her to say something, give an explanation.
He knows.
Slowly, she turned, aware that she was cornered. There was no escape. ‘Don’t tell anyone, please, James. I just needed a loan. I was desperate and…’ This was what she’d been dreading, and her body reacted like a deflating balloon, making her fold in on herself, shoulders hunched, her head hung low. She covered her face with her hands, ashamed and embarrassed and devoid of hope, wanting to crawl into the cupboard and curl up in a ball. An unexpected sob burst from her mouth and tears sprang from nowhere.
She felt a hand on her shoulder, slowly guiding her backwards, round the desk until she was gently pushed into a chair. He sat on the desk in front of her, and when he spoke, his voice was soft and soothing, quite the opposite of what she was expecting. ‘When you’re ready, you can tell me all about it.’
Although she knew she couldn’t hope for a happy outcome, she needed to explain herself, and when her sobs had finally hiccuped to a stop, she wiped her face and told him everything. Her lost investment, Matt being made redundant, their financial difficulties and then Matt’s business idea, an opportunity to get them back on their feet again if they just had that initial lump sum.
‘I am going to pay it back.’ Her eyes stayed on her hands, which were knotted together in her lap. ‘Honestly I am. As soon as Matt’s new business is up and running.’
‘And he doesn’t know anything about it?’
She sighed and shook her head, her voice no more than a whisper. ‘I couldn’t tell him. Didn’t dare confess to what I’d done. He’d told me, you see. Very specifically told me not to take risks with the money, and we’d agreed to leave it in the deposit account. But then I had this moment of madness.’
She clasped a hand to her forehead, her mind taking her back to the moment when she’d made the rash decision, reliving the feelings of frustration that had led her to a choice she now regretted with all her heart.
‘It was my money, you see – a legacy from my aunt – and I thought I should be able to use it how I wanted. And what I wanted was to have a career, and for that I felt I needed to upgrade my qualifications.’ He handed her a tissue from the box on the desk and she dabbed at her eyes, finally plucking up the courage to look at him. ‘I know there’s no excuse for what I’ve done, but…’ She gulped back her explanation, resigned to her fate. ‘Anyway… at least you know why I did it.’
He adjusted his position on the desk, one arm across his chest, the other hand tugging at his beard. His expression was pensive as he looked over her head at the wall, obviously thinking about her sorry tale and what he should do now.
She scrunched the damp tissue in her hand. ‘I know you’ll have to tell Fiona and the board. I know you’ll have to sack me. And I know I’ve committed a crime. But I promise I will pay it back. I will.’ She pressed her hands together, as if in prayer. ‘Please don’t tell the police. Please?’
He looked down at her, sympathy in his eyes rather than the judgement she’d expected. ‘Look, I understand.’ He raised his hands, palms up. ‘We’ve all made mistakes. And I know this is totally out of character.’
He gazed at her, his eyes fixed on hers, his hand tugging at his beard again as the seconds ticked by. The silence smothered her, and she could hear herself taking shallow gasping breaths as she waited for him to carry on, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.
‘Hmm,’ he said, at last. ‘I think I might have an idea.’ He smiled at her. ‘How about I repay this money for you, then nobody needs to know. I can tell this new treasurer the transfer was an error, done while you were still learning. She won’t have a clue which account the money was transferred into.’ He nodded to himself as his idea gathered steam. ‘She won’t have time to double-check every transaction, will she? And if it’s gone back into the account, then there’s nothing to worry about. The status quo has been restored. The books are balanced. No harm done.’
She frowned, unable to believe what he was proposing. ‘What? No. I can’t let you do that. You don’t even know me that well. Honestly, I would pay you back, but…’ She shook her head. ‘No, I can’t let you do it.’